Tyler’s alright, he has fun with it and comes up with some nice recipes. Rachel is very cute, but you’re 100% right on her voice. She gets a rating of “I’d do her, but only once, then GET OUT!” Emeril is annoying as hell, but it’s definitely an act, his older work is much more calm and I have heard that he’s got serious cooking chops, regardless of what goes on with his show. Bobby Flay is definitely not OK, however.
Oh, and no pitting of Emeril is complete without a linky link to one of the finest Emeril pittings ever.
My thoughts exactly. I really don’t like Emeril, but Rachel Ray and Tyler Florence are at least bearable. But Bobby Flay is the most obnoxious, pretentious, smug and cocky idiot on the channel. He makes my skin crawl.
And I think I’m gonna ask Alton to marry me. Think I have a chance?
Bobby Flay is an overly-cocky, uncreative jerk. Ooo, let’s make tamales out of (ingredient), that’s so cutting-edge! The only thing I liked out of his Iron Chef appearances was that he uses Global knives, and I hope that in the Iron Chef America series, we get to see Rick Bayless completely own him.
Wolfgang Puck may not be my chef of choice to watch on TV, but he’s got a lot of skill and creativity, and he really contributed a lot to the advancement of cuisine in America. I’d compare it to watching Julia Child - she would do stuff like scratch her head on camera, wipe food off the counter onto the floor, etc., but she also revolutionized American home cooking in the 1960s and afterward, showing home cooks that it was possible and (usually) not all that difficult to produce French cuisine in your own kitchen.
Emeril tries to make cooking seem accessible, but I haven’t been impressed by his shows or his cookbooks in making that happen. They just aren’t that good at teaching decent techniques to a novice cook, who’ll wonder why their food isn’t turning out the same when they did exactly everything that Emeril did. Sometimes, that includes stuff that’ll sabotage the real result, like (Bam!) adding more alcohol to a souffle than the recipe calls for, and the home audience sees the made-ahead version come out of the oven, recipe perfectly followed.
I’ve heard the chef shows on Food Network described as “food porn” - stuff you really love watching but probably don’t manage to actually accomplish later. (I typed “reproduce” and then “pull off” before finally using “accomplish.”)
Ever since last year, I cannot listen to Wolfgang Puck w/o wondering if a tiger’s going to come in from stage left and maul him…
So, it DOES include a reference to slipping a swipe at a bush.
:: furiously googles “Rachel Ray” ::
…and finds???
http://www.durzy.com/news/rachelray10252003.htm
:: faints ::
…btw, great rant, and welcome aboard!!!
Rachel Ray and that chick from Everyday Italian are pretty damned easy on the eyes, but neither of their shows can hold a candle to Good Eats. Alton Brown ROCKS.
Well, I adore Emeril (he got joie, plus Doc Gibbs!) AND I thought your rant was most excellent (except for the ilk thing, that is a problem). Put those in your KitchenAid & mix 'em!
Bobby Flay did not deserve to win that Iron Chef, it was clearly a travesty. I am glad to see that other people despise him as well.
Hmmm, Nigella Lawson.
Or a “I learned this from my Italian Grandmother®” joke.
I have an anecdotal note to add:
Backstory:
The bass player in my band is in a band with the bass player from the Pietasters (who plays guitar in that band). Pietasters did an Emeril episode. Pietasters bass player can’t be there, so my bass player fills in for him for the Emeril taping.
Anyway, my bass player is with the Pietasters taping the show, and Emeril has a security goon that keeps people away from him when the camera’s not on him, to include the band. He was a complete dick, I was told.
I agree. Check out his non-live show and he’s much more subdued and soft-spoken.
If this is a thread for annoying TV chefs, why am I the first one to name Jamie Oliver? :dubious:
I’m thinking maybe the person in question is Ina Garten, the Barefoot Contessa. Nigella is hardly in the realm of heavy, but Garten would be.
BAM!
It had to be said…
Tyler Florence is beautiful; a little shiny at times, but a real gentleman. I saw him at a book signing and a girl in front of me began hyperventilating and sobbing when she approached his table. He was extremely sweet and gracious, even with the more rabid fans. At any rate, my heart belongs to Anthony Bourdain. His “A Cook’s Tour” was one of the more entertaining shows on television in general, and the Food Network for sure.
And God, do I want to live in Ina Garten’s house. Her garden is spectacular.
Emeril…ugh. I hate that guy. He acts like he’s so high and mighty. He might very well be a good cook, but that doesn’t mean you ahve to be the spokesperson for the food networrk.
I hate Bobby Flay even more. He is the worst thing to happen to cooking since…well, since ever.
Tyler Florence…he’s OK. I’ll awtch his show if nothing else is on.
Rachel Ray? Super-cute, makes food that I can actually make myself, but yeah, that personality is like a cheese grater. I dream about having sex with her, but on those dreams, she’s wearin’ a ball gag. :eek: 
That Everyday Italian girl? Don’t know her name, but she is hot, and not too bad a personality, thoguh I think hse’s not all that great a chef. Look at her knife work, then compare it to, say, Wolfgang Puck’s and you’ll see what I mean.
Now that I mentioned him, Puck is good. He’s a great chef, isn’t too showey. I don’t wacth him, though, cause his accent annoys me, but that’s not his fault.
But Alton Brown is the God of the Kitchen. He does things he non-traditional way, because sometimes the traditional way is wrong. Never cook with as wine you won’t drink? It’s complete BS, and he ain’t afraid to say so. He actually exlpains, scientificaly, why you do things a certain wy and what is happening to your food. Yes, he gives recipes, but he also gives good skills, and gives “outlines” for recipes that can leave a lot to be tinkered with, so you can experiment on you’re own.
I think I have only met a couple people who don’t like ol’ AB, and there cheif complaint is the style og the show, cause alton does goofy things and they think it’s cheesy and take him less seriously. But cooking ain’t suppossed to be so serious!
I thought about Ina Garten as well, but her upper body has never inspired from me the level of attention that Nigella’s has. Guess it’s a matter of which two of the three criteria one focuses on.
Another – and even more remote, IMO – possibility would be Rachael Ray. A body that launched a thousand men into the kitchen, I’d bet. However, I also remember (but can’t find) a past thread here commenting on how much weight she has gained.
Giada De Laurentiis, granddaughter of Dino De Laurentiis. I find her program captivating because of the way it’s filmed (yes, filmed, as opposed to taped), and the way they do lots of close-ups. Her program just as a different style. Kinda reminds me of a late 70s p*rn movie.
She’s probably looking for her EVOO. Gawd, deliver me from her voice and that stupid abbreviation. Strike her mute.
And I have to jump on the “Alton ROCKS!” anti-dogpile. If I was a female or gay, I’d so be stalking him.