Penis drugs would be funny.
Girls Gone Wild rjung? Ouch.
I can already see this one in my head.
Simpsons with a shot of Nelson going “HawHaw” and pointing at the begining. Could be inserted anywhere just after they cut to commericals.
Caption: Now from some bloodshead that benefits you in this world.
“Big God is in our hearts!”
Ditto an ad for the Olive Garden…or any other Italian restaurant.
“After the movie, don’t forget the Italians…stop by Olive Garden! With our spacious dining areas, we won’t leave you hanging…around, waiting to be seated!”
Ranchoth
(“And on Friday nights—free bread sticks with any medium ‘stake’!”)
How about a tampon or maxi pad commerical?
“For those heavy flow days…”
“If you’re wood isn’t tall enough to crucify someone on, try Viagra!”
Nike - Just Do It
Scene: Women removing Jesus’s body from the cross.
“We must be sure to put the body to rest before the Sabbath.”
Scene: Easter morning, Mary coming upon the empty tomb.
“Where is my Lord!”
Scene: Soldiers scurrying about, worried faces, riots, pandemonium, religious wars, witch-burnings, etc.
End Frame:
“If you’re shipping internationally, you gotta use FedEx.”
Life insurance ads, of course.
A-1 Steak Sauce
Something Awful beat you guys to the punch.
[QUOTE=tracer]
“If you’re wood isn’t tall enough to crucify someone on, try Viagra!”[/QUOTE
\real genius\Can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your penis?
/real genius/
Jesus: “I’ve tried everything for my back. Wooden crosses, hollow stone tombs, I even tried that cat-o-nine tails with the little hooks on the ends. But now I’ve got the Sleep Number Bed. Mary Magdalene sets her side to 65, I set my side to 30: perfect for my back. My first nights sleep was so restful, I slept for three days!”
As painful as it is to watch most ads, I don’t see what the problem is. I think most any of them would fit in quite well.
Oh,yeah, I hope you guys are having fun in this world, because in the next one, you’re all gonna burn in hell! 
You know, usually at least once a day while I’m reading the Dope, my 4-year-old will ask me “what’s so funny?” I think this is the earliest it’s happened yet!
By chance, do you mean Calvary? Unless somehow the Flames acquired sticks hewn from the cross Jesus was crucified on.
“This week’s winner of Tylenol’s push through the pain is Jesus!”