I think this would be a wonderful place to restart the “*Coke * is Life” advertising campaign.
I haven’t seen them in a while, do those Dianetics commercials still get played?
Hebrew National Franks.
20 year old Carvel commercials.
Levy’s Jewish Rye Bread.
Jewish National Fund.
Christler automobiles.
Jesus died for your Wiscon-sin cheeses.
M&Ms. Melt in your mouth, not in your … never mind.
Tired of chipping and cracking? Duranail makes nails grow!
Krazy Glue:
“We crucified Jesus, and didn’t even use nails!”
Miracle Gro:
“Hi. James Whitmore here for Miracle Gro. With Miracle Gro, your Crown Of Thorns plants will grow up to 35% bigger. That means you can wrap 'em around Christ’s head 2 or 3 more times.”
“Mom! Jason’s gonna be here to take me to the Easter dance in half an hour and my stigmata is acting up!”
“Don’t worry Christie! New Carefree Stigmy-Pads will bring that right under control.”
Turina: you can’t stop your cat from peeing on the floor, but with Turina the stains will be holy.
Clorox, for getting those unsightly stains off your shroud.
Now THAT is the funniest thing I’ve read in a while!
How about OxyClean?
“Just a small amount can remove even the toughest bloodstains!”
Lots of dog food commercials. Especially the ones that claim their product contains chunks of real meat.