When you think about it, does anyone really take this statement at face value when they hear it? I am of course referring to when someone says it to you in regards to a specific thing (usually bad) they did/said to you - not in the general sense such as “the world’s unfair, don’t take it…”
And for the people who use it: do they really mean what they say or is it just a sarcastic contradiction; ie should anyone who hears it think “f*ck you too buddy” to themselves?
If for example I’m in a bad mood cause my car got towed the day before, a random tow truck driver comes into the store and asks for directions, then I go off on some silly rant about “all you bastard tow truck drivers, doing this and that, blah blah blah, whine whine whine”… then calm down, explain why I’m upset, and spit out the line “don’t take it personally”, would/should that line even be considered?
My opinion is that most bad behavior preceeding this line most certainly is meant to be taken personally (at least for the few moments the person dishing it out is upset), otherwise it wouldn’t have been directed towards that specific person… I mean we don’t throw tantrums/insults or go off on a blank wall or empty room; we need a person as a target to vent all that steam into, which as far as I can see makes such acts very personal.
Not knowing the “victim” or their true motives does not prevent you from attacking and hurting them personally, so why should some silly line redeem the aggressor and make whatever nasty comments or deeds they do alright? As far as I’m concerned this line means nothing, and depending on the severity of the tongue lashing preceeding it, can even be construed as adding insult to injury. Any thoughts?
I hate “Don’t take it personally” as much as I hate “I hope you don’t take this the wrong way.” Both of them are like saying “I get to say whatever I want, but don’t come down on me if it pisses you off.” If someone is concerned about another person taking it personally or taking it the wrong way, they should figure out a better way to say it!
I hope you don’t take this personally, but I think people who say “I hope you don’t take this personally” are insensitive morons who deserve to be shot.
Yes, some people use ‘don’t take it personally’ or ‘no offense’ to say whatever they want.
But sometimes it’s “I was overgeneralizing, we all do it, you caught me out this time, my bad, people have to to communicate but I did innapropriately, it’s too late to be polite by not saying it, just accept it wasn’t a dig at you”
I remember in primary school, where the conversation would go:
“No offense, but -”
[Punch]
“Ow!”
Although, is there any kind alternative to “With all due respect”? As much as I would like to say “you’re a dumbass and have stupid ideas”, that’s not how you Win Friends and Influence People.
The only time I use the phrase is when I growl at somebody who’s caught me in a bad mood. Usually, I’m excessively polite to a member of some group I don’t like. Such as boneheads from another political party, or folks who sincerely want to save my soul so they can win a get-out-of-Hell-free card.
I hate that phrase for the reasons mentioned. However, I just used it today!
My boss is in many ways a good person, but she has all the tact and subtlety of Attila the Hun. Basically, she has really high standards (not a bad thing at all) but she just cannot give feedback without sounding scolding, patronizing, and insulting.
Today a new member of our team was terribly distraut over some of the feedback she’d gotten on her latest project. I told her not to take the tone of the criticism personally because that’s the way our boss is with everyone. It doesn’t mean you’re a screw up, incompetent, or hopeless. She’s that way to the very best people we’ve got.
gee if anyone hates the phrase then make it well known
Someone: " Youre a @#%!#%%^! …oh wait. Dont take that personally"
YOU: “Well fuck you too buddy, Dont tell me how to take shit personally! If you didnt want me to take it personally you couldve just shut the fuck up!!”
People generally dont try that stupid phrase on me twice.
