The Pit Meister is now accepting applications for AW#'s

[Pit_Meister]

I noticed this on the ATMB (yes, I have lurked there, although I so far have only posted in the Pit).

*Originally posted by SPOOFE Bo Diddly
*
**By the way, I’m wondering which Asswipe I am… probably #48 or something. Hey, maybe that can be an act… “Waterj2 and his Amazing Band of Asswipes!”. Or then there’s the obligatory “I knew it, I’m surrounded by Asswipes” line… **

Now we can’t leave that sort of ranking to the Upstairs People! How would it look?

This is downstairs business.

*Originally posted by Mullinator
*
**What is the order of succession for Asswipes? For instance, if Asswipes 1 and 2 leave their positions, is the Asswope of the House next in line?

Also, how does one earn the honor of said title. Should I fill out an application or do I need to be a good citizen and hope a mighty hand from above chooses me from among the registered citizenry?**

It looked even worse when I found this bit of mis-filing.

*Originally posted by waterj2
*
**

You are proof that people do not get banned for repetative harassment. You are the worst harasser here, hence the title Asswipe #1. Duh. Bu bye!

And wasn’t I only asswipe #3 an hour ago. How quickly I rise in your estimation.**

Since the trolls seem not to be actually distinguishing among you, nor bothering with accurate records, it would seem registration is distinctly called for.

I suspect that the current AW#1 and AW#2 are not actually going to be awarded to any of the above. There must be a couple of dark horse AW’s, as yet unannounced candidates.
At the same time, I doubt the list will extend to AW#48.
5 AW’s is the least and perhaps 10 the most, just so the order of sucession is not too tangled, should one of them resign, or be banned, or fail to pay a ISP bill, etc.

But, to be fair, I don’t yet have enough to go on.
I’m not even certain how the honor is decided.
Probably based on whom you’ve harassed, and how stubbornly.
I think you should get extra points if you’ve harassed someone for being a troll who never ended up banned.

So, applicants, those who want a number should just state their case here.

Then we can try for a consensus.

Who wants to start, SPOOFE Bo Diddly, Mullinator, or waterj2?

[Pit_Meister]

:eek: Akkk! This is supposed to be in the Pit!

I will write someone, but please assume it will be moved before long, and answer accordingly.

[John_Corrado]

Yesssss… we here… we here in the Pit… we shall claaaim this thread…
Now if only I could do that Peter Lorre laugh.
Anyways, thread moved as per OPer’s request and e-mail.

[Homer]

Hey, I cut kinda deep when I flame, I think. I’m also a dick to the ‘I explain my name in my sig and only complain about the way the board is run’ posters (socks) all the time.

How do I rank?

–Tim

[SPOOFE]

I don’t even know why someone had thought to label me as one of the… “Asswipes”, I guess it is. Some random shmo named ddibb randomly lumped me in with “those that come here only to dump on people”, which confuses me to no end. However, who am I to argue with baseless stereotypes and generalizations?

Anyway, I’ll stay right where I am as the Self-Proclaimed Asswipe #48, thank you very much.

[tiggeril]

And here I thought AW stood for Assistant Wench.

Hmph. ::flounces off::

[Ayesha]

Hmmm, nope, don’t think I’ll apply for this position. If anyone needs me I’ll be over here in the corner building a castle out of toilet tyssue for the head asswipe. Whoever he or she may be.

[hawthorne]

Sincethis recent IMHO thread, ass-wiping is out of fashion on these Boards.

[Smeghead]

I’m not really an Asswipe. I’d say I’m more of a smeghead.

[Mu_Mu]

AW#1 Pit Meister
AW#2 John Corrado
AW#3 Homer
AW#4 SPOOFE Bo Diddly
AW#5 tiggeril
AW#6 Ayesha
AW#7 picmr

One troll has just taken the trouble to explain himself.
** I’m Not The Troll You Think I Am.**

Now I think it’s only fair that the 7 of you explain yourselves.

I know you come out enlessly to applaud the latest troll hunt.
But why? I’m honestly asking here. I just don’t get it.

Is it a matter of justice–that people are being unfair jerks and you want to do a little Bernie Goetz vigilante action on them? Is it just a matter of stirring people up, getting them riled to laugh at them? Is it just kicking down sandcastles? Is it ongoing revenge for past offenses? I really don’t understand your motivation here, and I really want to.

Please, please, help me understand what’s going on.

Please feel free to email me directly, at muethic@reborn.com, if you’d like.

I’m completely serious–I’m just trying to figure things out.

[Cantrip]

If you determine who the Asswipes are, please send them to this thread in GQ to help the poor unfortunates there.

[SPOOFE]

AW#4 SPOOFE Bo Diddly… (snip)… Now I think it’s only fair that the 7 of you explain yourselves.

I know you come out enlessly to applaud the latest troll hunt

I came out to “applaud the latest troll hunt”? What troll hunt? Where?

The nearest I can figure is the aforementioned Random Shmo picking my name out of a hat. Mu Mu, would you care pointing out where I participated in a “troll hunt”? I certainly have no idea how I managed to get caught up in all this.

[Satan]

Anyone who only posts in The Pit and actually uses “Pit” in their user name like a badge of honor is a fucking moron who does not get what this board is for.

---

Yer pal,
Satan

*TIME ELAPSED SINCE I QUIT SMOKING:
Six months, three weeks, five days, 5 hours, 41 minutes and 28 seconds.
8369 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,046.18.
Extra time with Drain Bead: 4 weeks, 1 day, 1 hour, 25 minutes.

David B used me as a cite!*

[Ayesha]

** MuMu ** , Exactly what do I have to explain ? FYI I did not see this thread as a troll hunt. With the execption of hitting Y when I meant to hit I while writting the word tissue , I don’t see where my above post was offensive.

Also I haven’t hunted troll in awhile. If I see a thread that I wish to respond to I do so, no matter what the subject matter .

:rolleyes: I don’t believe I understand ** your ** view of myself and some of the others mentioned in your post. Looking at this post it seems ** you ** are the only one calling anyone anything in this thread. :rolleyes:

Just so you know, I have taken my troll hunting skills underground for the most part as the mods have asked.

Now you ask why I applaud troll hunting ? Because I have seen this board overrun with the vermin time and time again. I can only see so many bugs before I want to start stomping on them . And if someone beats me to it, you are right I will applaud till my hands hurt.

Wow, I just posted twice in the same pit thread without saying _________ even once. I hope someone is keeping score.

[hawthorne]

(Mu Mu)
AW#7 picmr

I slip into this thread to make a cheap turd reference and suddenly I’m a member of the Illuminati. Cool. I won’t explain myself because I might appear considerably less windswept and interesting to you if I do Mu Mu.

[Ayesha]

Wow picmr is under me on the list and now with that post.

Wait, now I’m under picmr, are we rolling down a hill or just changing positions ?

[Pit_Meister]

I just realized what you were doing.

At first it seemed like you were taking this ranking seriously.
But I haven’t messed with anyone to rate #1.
But now I see you just named the people on the thread in order of posting.

Sorry, but I won’t be able to count that.

I think picmr is right **“Since this recent IMHO thread, ass-wiping is out of fashion on these Boards.” **

It says if we learn from the bears in the woods, and relax and “let the entire fecal episode happen” it won’t “leave debris”, and we won’t need to wipe.

Learn something new every day.

[SPOOFE]

I still insist that I am merely Asswipe #48, if even that.