The Pizza Wars

Started on another thread, I know this is really the place for it…

I submit:

Sure, anything by people like Dominos or Pizza Hut are wretched corporate approximations of the real thing, and I shan’t waste another word on the foul food-stuff.

Chicago pizza is great! If you like lots of bread. kinda like a Big Mac is to burgers or a Subway sub is to a real sub. Personally I prefer my bread before the entree, not as the entree, but you know, it gets cold in Chi-town…

Los Angeles offers something it calls pizza, though any resemblance to real pizza is accidental. They put, like, bamboo shoots and tofu on top of it. In a word, ew.

The only real pizza is the New York variety. You can grab a slice of perfection on almost any corner in the city and it doesn’t need toppings at all. A fresh tasty shell topped with olive oil topped with spicy tomato sauce topped with fresh mozzerella. Perfection, and you can hold it in one hand while reading the Daily News in the other.

The amount of bread is perfectly in ratio to the sauce that burns the corner of your moth so deliciously, and the cheese which is gooey and wonderful.

Sorry, but the only real pizza is the New York variety. The rest might be tasty, but don’t confuse it with pizza.

Let the flaming begin!


Brian O’Neill
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You know what makes no sense whatsoever? That the only good pizza is New York pizza, as though if you took exactly the same ingredients and prepare them exactly the same way in Alaska, it wouldn’t be an equally delicious pizza. Bullshit.

I will say this, though: the majority of pizzas in the world suck. I simply adore good pizza, and I confess it is very difficult to find here in Los Angeles (Where they do NOT put bamboo shoots and tofu… you have apparantly never been here and have seen too many Woody ALlen movies. How ludicrous. They put smoked chicken and shitake mushrooms. Arf.)

When I was in NY, many moons ago, I will say that 7 out of 10 pizza slices I tried (and I lived mostly on pizza the whole time I was there) were good. The other 3 sucked.


Stoidela

Boycott shampoo! Demand REAL poo!

one more thing:

LA may have very little in the way of good pizza, but we do have some.

NY, on the other hand, has ZERO good Mexican food. And good Mexican food is the food of the gods.


Stoidela

Boycott shampoo! Demand REAL poo!

It’s not the state, it’s the pizza joint.

Lou Malnati’s, anyone?

San Loco on 2nd Avenue between St. Marks and 7th. I used to go there at 4AM and have (another beer) and stuff my face for $5.

Sure, LA has a lot more good Mexican food… You also have a lot more Mexicans!


Brian O’Neill
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Kat, you’re right its not the state or city, but the style. Not necessarily the store, but the style. Lou’s is the second best pizza on the planet and close second behind Giordano’s. Both are only made in the Chicagoland area and the style was cultivated in the pizzarias of the city. Now should they open a Lou’s in NY or LA I am sure it would reign as the best pizza in the city, but that doesn’t make it any less a Chicago pizza.
Long live Chicago style pizza, where you can actually make a meal out of a slice. Pizza that actually has subtantial topping and cheese that oozes out to cover the entire plate. The grease soaked cardboard under a Chicago pizza is a better pizza than that cheap foldy pizza they eat in New York. Whats it say about your slice if it needs to be cut from a quater of a pizza to make a signicicant snack.

Anyone who thinks Chicago pizza ain’t the best in the whole wide world can blow it out their ass!

Anything I blow out my ass would approximate the taste of Chicago pizza…


Brian O’Neill
CMC International Records
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ICQ 35294890
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I addressed this back in the “egg cream” thread in “Great Questions,” but you’re right, this does deserve its own thread, and the Pit is the right place for it.

That said, I’m gonna perversely be pleasant and polite. NY-style and Chicago-style pizza are both delicious…AND they are such completely different dishes that they should not both be given the same name.

Chicago-style may be thick, but it isn’t bread that makes it thick, it’s the tomatoes, cheese, and other fillings (here in NYC we’d call them “toppings.”) NY-style is closer to the original Italian snack, which was created in Naples as a way to use up bread dough left over after the loaves were made. SNACK, not meal…which is why you need a couple of slices of NY-style to fill your tum-tum.

So let NY pizza be called pizza, and let’s come up with an alternate name for Chicago-style. I suggest “Yummy Gloppy Round Thing, Pass the Crushed Red Pepper, Please.”

Oh, and by the way…outside of New York and Chicago, all pizza on the North American continent sucks.

Mmmm… Chicago style pizza. Pizza that you have to eat with a fork and knife in the resturants because trying to eat it with your hands is about the same as trying to eat a plate of spaghetti with your hands. Let not the words of a few heathens throw anyone off - you can find people who say “Ice cream sucks!” - anytime I read/hear a best place for… list, Chicago always gets pizza. As for New York pizza, you guys are now doomed to be thought of as a style offered by Pizza Hut in my eyes. Same folks who thought square crustless pizza was a God-touched innovation.


“I guess it is possible for one person to make a difference, although most of the time they probably shouldn’t.”

Ike said:

Well those two places would have to have some good pizza because everything else about those towns sucks.

Jeffery

Jeffrey, shouldn’t you be getting out to the north forty to mow the alfalfa?


Uke

Don’t have no stinkin’ alfalfa. More of a peanut guy myself. Peanuts and pizza, what a combination.

Jeffery

Hot dogs. Add hot dogs to the list of foods Chicago does best.

Jeffery, I’d invite you to town and even treat you to a couple, but you’d probably ask for catsup on yours and I’d never be able to show my face in that joint again.

Hey, bub, we don’t feel like waiting an hour and a half for our pizza to cook. We’re the cultural and economic center of the Known Universe, ova here!

As opposed to having pizza associated with the soul-less restaurant chain named after a kid’s color-coded card game?

Since I’m not from Chicago, or NY, I think I can make a pretty unbiased opinion. The best pizza is deep dish. It should have tons of sauce, and cheese. Mmmm, there’s a place in Detroit’s Greektown that serves an excellent deep dish pie. New York style is too thin, too much bread. Gotta go Chicago-style.

Adam

Well, now, anyone who eats deep dish pizza can’t be all bad. ARG, you have to go through Chicago and go for Lou’s or Giordano’s, or (if you can find one) Tedino’s stuffed pizza, which is up there, too.

Re: Franks

I’ll take a Nathan’s on the Coney Island Boardwalk or a Sabrette’s in Yankee Stadium (Home of the 24-time World Champions - When did the Cubbies or the Sox win anything in october?) any day of the year… Chicago has got good Bratz and other things bloated (like their pizza) but we’re talking about franks here…

Re: Chicago Pizza

It’s not pizza. You can eat it if you wish, but it is not pizza. The best thing I can come up with is Pseudo-Italian Quiche or maybe, with beef topp… Oh, I’m sorry. Y9ou call it fillings, as in what they do to a cavity. Well, we could call a hamburger-filled item a Cow Pie since that IS what the Midwest is known for…

Oh and as for that Pizza Hut jibe? Yes, the Big New Yorker tastes like sweaty balls. But even Pizza Hut knows that New York Style is the only kind of pizza, and they cling onto that, even if their excecution leaves a lot to be desired.

Can’t blame them for knowing that a New York pizza would mean a lot more interest than saying they offered Chicago Quiche…


Brian O’Neill
CMC International Records
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Jeff is still mad about that little Civil War think, I guess, like a lot of Southerners. Either that or the inneptitude of his Braves come post-season!

Two words: Jim Leyritz.

And what’s so great about Atlanta anyway?


Brian O’Neill
CMC International Records
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ICQ 35294890
AIM Scrabble1
Yahoo Messenger Brian_ONeill

I cannot believe that I am responding to Satan, but anyway.

  1. I felt like seeing if I could get someone mad, it is the pit after all.

  2. I am still mad about that Civil War thing. That no good Sherman burnt most of Atlanta and the surrounding area.

  3. At least the Braves make it into the post-season every year. They were also recently rated one of the best teams by people from all over. They are America’s Team.

  4. BBQ, peaches, apple pie, great weather (both NY and Chicago get colder than should be allowed in the winter and then have been hotter than Atlanta in the summer), 1996 Olympics, Home of the WCW, the Braves, did I mention they are the America’s Team?, Georgia Tech, UPS, Coca Cola, Home Depot, BellSouth, Georiga Pacific, the list is virtually endless.

Jeffery