“Honey” to me is almost exclusively an Americanism (but a close NZ friend does call me that, which is okay). “Love” is more common, but fairly restricted in professional circumstances. Too much of a sales person saying “love” gets to feel like I’m drowning in syrup, and not in a good way. I try to stop myself using it too much because of that reason (but I had an English parent, so it’s hard not to say it sometimes). Other platonic terms I’ve used include “sweetheart”, and “treasure”.
I know someone who keeps calling me “cobber” – which continually blows my mind, as I take “cobber” to be an Australianism reserved for males-to-males, not male-to-female. I take it as a gesture of equality, nothing more, though. This bloke’s the only one I know who does it. And he isn’t even an Aussie.
I’ve seen it on King of the Hill too. I don’t watch it that often but my take on it was not that it was their regular guy-guy phrasing, but that they called another guy “honey” as a put-down: i.e. I’m really not even trying to disguise the fact that I backhandedly called you a woman, even tho I didn’t use any fighting words. But I might be mistaken.
There was a (straight) guy who I worked with over summer from one of the roughest parts of town who referred to other men as “love”. It was weird hearing it coming from his mouth, especially with his accent. He’s the only person I’ve ever heard say that from around here.
I’ve lived in Kentucky all my life and I don’t think I’ve ever heard a man referring to other men as “honey.” I could be wrong, though–pet names and endearments are very common and it could be that I’m just hearing through them. I’m going to try and pay attention now and see.
Nah. The character, Joe Jack, calls everyone honey, except it’s more like hun-nay and he says it at the end of whatever he saying to you. I that little quirk about him. It’s cute.
My dad occasionally used terms of endearment with me and my brother when we were small, but really not all that much.
Now I call a lot of guys honey (or dear, babe, me trout, me duck, mon beau, ma pitoune, querido, etc.) but of course I may be a bit of an outlying data point.
It’s really like two-cheek kissing: women can do it to women or men, men can do it to women, gay guys can do it to each other, but straight guys can’t. It’s so everlastingly peculiar to me all these rules of social interaction that seem to be so wrapped up in making sure that straight guys don’t express any kind of warmth to each other in any fashion that doesn’t involve beer.
I don’t mind it from sales people, old people, friends, Southerners or anyone else except in one instance. I find it unacceptable to call me by such terms in a business context.
Yeah, the only way I’d call one of my buddies “honey” would be if he were to do something like ordering a White Russian instead of a beer or whiskey up at the pub.
Around here “sugar” (sometimes “sug” which if I’m not mistaken is also habitually used by some characters on King of the Hill) seem to be preferred over “honey.” As in the following exchange which really took place at my grocery store:
Me: (to female store employee) Excuse me, where’s the saran wrap?
Store employee: Aisle 3, sugar.
It doesn’t bother me, it’s a “southern thang” as far as I can see.
But I do’t believe I’ve ever heard a man unironically call another man “sugar” “honey” or any of the variants .
A lot of men call their kids honey, boy or girl.
Pretty much all my oakie friends in Bakersfield did.
Isn’t Joe Jack (thanks, UrbanChic) from Oklahoma? And yes, he uses the term in his normal speech. Definitely not as a put-down.
mangeorge
I’m a big sucker for being called “honey.” If a waitress calls me honey, I automatically add a buck or two to her tip. Same thing when guys call me “mate” – hey!, I think to myself, this guy must be my friend!, even though I know that he probably calls everyone mate no matter what he thinks of them. (I’m still under the impression that the Australians are some of the friendliest people on earth, just because they say “mate” so much.)
My dad calls all of my and my brothers’ friends “son” or “buddy,” but I think that’s just because he can’t remember their names.
I have never heard a guy call another guy “honey,” and I would do a double take if I did.
Even though I like these little terms of endearment, I can never use them myself – I always sound too self-conscious trying to use them. Oh well.
I thought of one more example of male-male “honey.” In the film Alice’s Restaurant, Arlo Guthrie is in a small town eating pizza with his long hair. This was in the 1960s when long hair was still new on men and before it became accepted in rural areas. Some men see him and taunt him “Hey… Honey…” right before they beat him up.
I live in South Texas…grew up down here…and behind the bar I call just about everybody “honey” or “hon” or “sweetie” or “sweetheart.” Male or female, regardless of age.
It is often said back to me by both sexes.
When talking to my friends, vs. customers, I tend to use “babe.”
The one endearment I read in books about Texans and Southerners (there’s a difference, you know) that I’ve never heard is “darling” or "darlin.’ " I’ve never heard it used by anyone, period. Maybe it’s more a Deep South thing? Or maybe it’s just an anachronism used by lazy authors?
Men do not call each other any of these endearments unless it’s meant to be ironic. Among most men of my acquaintance, it’s always “man” or “dude” or occasionally “brother” or “bro.”
Living south of Melbourne, I don’t hear “Hon” or “Honey” a lot, only from my closest (American) female friend. I get “darl” by close Aussie female friends. I’ve found usage of “mate” to be widespread, whereas “love” tends to be a term used by the older generation (folks in their 40s plus) and most often those in rural or bush areas.
Heh, it was in Broken Hill, which is pretty much stereotypical outback Aussie heaven. Half the doctors turn up to work in moleskin trousers, riding boots and Drizabones.
Since the patients and other staff were Aussie too, I doubt that they thought anything of it. It was just me that did a double-take to hear a 90 year old man being called “tiger” by his doctor. Irish doctors stick to “sir”, “good man” or the patient’s name.
