The Poetry of Donald J. Trump -- Sour Grapes Nobel Prize Edition

The BBQ Pit
1

Donald Trump was pissed because – again – he wasn’t even nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize

Last time
They gave it to a young lady
Who’s a fabulous person
And she said she didn’t deserve it
That I deserved it
And
She gave it to me
And
I said
Wow
What an honor.

I settled eight wars,
Another one is coming.
I got all the hostages back.
I did things that nobody else has ever done.
I’m not bragging,
I’m just telling you the facts.
No president
Probably
Has settled any wars.
I settled eight wars
And big ones,
Big ones.
Saved millions and millions of lives
And when Maria gave me that Nobel Prize
She said
Not only should he get it for this year
But there’s never been anybody
In the history of the Nobel Prize
That deserves it more.

I did.

I settled eight wars
And I’ve stopped maybe
The Total Obliteration of the World.
Because Iran will never have a nuclear weapon
And that’s a Positive Thing,
Very Positive Thing,
And other presidents
Should have done it
Before me or
Somebody should have done it.
So I don’t know what their decision is going to be.
They have a reputation for maybe
Not giving it to people like me
But I—
Whether I get it or not
I have done far more and
I think it would be
A great discredit to them
And I’m not saying that out of scorn.
I’m saying that
When you settle eight wars
And nobody’s ever—
I’ll bet you if you look at the Nobel Prize—
Look
Obama got it
And he didn’t do anything,
He still doesn’t know
What he got it for,
He got it when
He got elected
Right at the beginning,
And he had no idea
Why he got it.
Well in my case,
I said I didn’t know that they’re doing it
But you’re right
It is about that time.
But I was very honored
To receive it indirectly last time
By the recipient
Who said
Nobody in history
Deserves it more than
President Trump
And since then we’ve done a lot.
Since then I’ve settled,
Think of it,
Eight wars
And got all the hostages back
And stopped a lot of wars from happening
By using the powers of tariffs
And lots of other things
As a threat against
Certain Countries
So that they did not
Partake in killing people.

2

Cue sad trombone!

3

TL:DR Me me me me me me boo hoo me me me boo hoo wibble etc.

The guy is a fucking cretin.

4

I haven’t heard his response to not receiving the prize but he shared a post by someone else making his case.

RT @Schoenlaw Today the Nobel Committee shamed itself beyond repair and demeaned the once great Nobel Peace Prize by giving it to the UN’s Navi Pillay. Pillay is an unabashed hater of America and Israel. In her position she celebrated terrorists and rewarded Hamas. She conducted a phony “investigation” claiming to find that Israel committed genocide and urging prosecution. She has no credibility in any normal sphere and has never done a thing to foster peace. Just the opposite. But what could be expected from a committee that previously gave the once coveted peace prize to Yasser Arafat?
President Trump gave us the Abraham Accords, which the world said would be impossible and is now expanding them! He brought home the hostages when all seemed hopeless! He is making best efforts to end the Russia/Ukraine war, to stop Iran, the number one sponsor of international terrorism, and he is trying to rebuild Gaza despite the terrorists’ best efforts to control it. The list goes on and on. These are the kinds of things the Nobel Peace Prize was intended to recognize and reward!!! @realDonaldTrump

Again, these are not the words of Donald Trump but apparently ones with which he agrees.

5

Exactly how many wars would you say you settled, Mr. President?

6

I haves settled [looks at ketchup bottle] FIFTY SEVEN wars!

7

He is making best efforts to end the Russia/Ukraine war

This, as we say in the UK, is utter bollocks

8

Uh, what the frickin’ what now?

Ok, I looked it up. I first read it as the barely articulate madman saying “another war is coming” but he apparently meant “another war settlement is coming”. What a relief! He always says what he means and means what he says.

9

That (Except for the “she” article) fits Trump to a T.