Not at all. Dating is the sign outside your restaurant; the LTR is the food. I happen to have a really unfortunate sign, but the food’s tasty. I would have had a much happier adolescence and young adulthood if I had a better sign, but that doesn’t mean that my wife is doomed to an lifetime of overcooked noodles. So to speak.
To me, computer dating looks a lot like filling out a resume and attending a series of interviews.
I hate doing that for work. I mean, I’ve done it - everyone has - but I hated it.
No doubt I’d do it, as this seems to be how people mostly meet up now, and it is certainly more efficient; but I know I would not enjoy the process.
I think there are two kinds of “I hate dating.”
The first is “I’m not a huge people person, so it’s not much fun for me.” I totally get that. Personally, I really did love the process of meeting a bunch of random people and spending a couple hours learning about their lives. But I can see how that’s not for everyone.
The other “I hate dating” is “I really want something (be it sex or marriage or whatever), and I don’t think it’s fair that people only want to do that something with people that are attractive and personable, so the process sucks.” I’m a lot less sympathetic to that.
You seem to be confusing “has a greater reward” with “is harder”. To me, being friends with someone is easy; that active process of “making friends”, specially when looked at the way my mother does it (deciding she’s going to be friends with someone and actively pursuing the person) is something that comes as naturally and easily as peeing while standing on my hands. Friendship happening has a great reward (good times together, each other’s shoulders to cry on, each other’s ears to listen), friendship chasing ugh.
even sven, let me add a third type from someone whose culture does courtship in a way that doesn’t involve dating: I hate the idea that in order to hook up with someone you need to go through a dance where each partner has assigned roles; I hate being treated like I’m some sort of incapable, fragile doll-being rather than a human being with some pretty big achievements to her name.
There’s a relationship phenomenon called Sudden Spousal Abandonment. “Sure, we used to fight, just like all young couples, but for a long long time everything was fine. Then out of the blue he/she announced it was over and was moving out!” They weren’t fighting anymore because they’d switched to silent evacuation mode. Tell me there’s no
“not getting the signals” there.
I interpret “I hate dating” as “I hate current dating conventions in America,” similar to our antipathy to the current political process. I don’t see myself as an entitled misanthrope. Looking back, I could never have anticipated even the most superficial aspects of the women who’ve been significant in my life, so I’m hardly walking around with a shopping list now. I just do my job, and I let Cupid do his (acknowledging that part of his job is to make me look like an ass).
But all the fear and commodification in the 21st C. dating world isn’t the way it always was, and can’t stay as it is forever.
You know, if you consider dating as means to an end (marriage), I could almost see someone using “I’m glad I’m not dating anymore” as a way to brag that they’ve married; ie, “I have succeeded at this and you still haven’t. Thus I feel superior to you”. or even “I dropped out of this rat race of dating, unlike you fools”. That would seem smug.
But the vast, VAST majority of people are surely coming from a sympathetic place. It’s not like the feeling of dating sucks is new or uncommon. Nearly every TV show carries it as a central theme. All my friends were happy for me to get married, partially because I wouldn’t have to deal with dating anymore.
Now, remember this is IMHO. So here is my HO: If someone is denying that dating sucks, or insisting that it shouldn’t be difficult, I hear, “Look at me, I am so good at life that even something that is widely regarded as uncomfortable, awkward, or painful was smooth sailing for me. I don’t know why it was hard for all you people.”
The other thing I hear when I hear someone lament the lost fun of dating is, “I am about to cheat on my significant other.”
Does the perceived smugness spill over in similarly worded statements, I wonder?
“I’m glad I’m not in college any more.”
“I’m glad I’m not living with my parents any more.”
“I’m glad I’m not working in a cubicle farm any more.”
“I’m glad I’m not living next door to the toxic landfill any more.”
You’re making it sound better and better - I’ve had a better hit rate in employment interviews than dates.
Much higher, because I think I had only one “date” with my wife before we got married. We lived so far apart that I’m not sure you can consider a movie after a 600 mile drive a date.
Some of us just suck at it, and use the saying as a cover to save face. When I was younger, more attractive and surrounded by available women, I had terrible social skills and couldn’t close the deals. Now that my social skills are better I am less attractive and do not have access to nearly as many single women.
If you’re saying it to, or in front of, anyone who is still in one of those situations, especially if you’re saying it in response to a lament or complaint about their life, then yes.
If you’re saying it in any other scenario, then it’s probably chagrined and self-effacing.
Also, that last one made me think of Dowisetrepla. 
I’m glad I’m not this sensitive any more. 