Yeah, lose the sock! 
I didn’t say I was wearing the hat on my head… er, maybe I should re-phrase that?
:::: Narile wheels out an electron microscope. ::::
Some of the guys might need this…
:::: Narile walks back to the sidestage but is pushed back on ::::
What?! Me? I told you, would break your monitors! I mean it,Um, whyfor you have that shotgun…Oh…Alright, but you owe for the damages.
::: Narile starts to take off his costume/clothing. As more of him becomes visible… ::::
--------------------------->0<-------------------------
ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzFFFFFEEEEEWWWWWOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPP
:::: A now clothed Narile looks out from the sidestage ::::
See, told you it would damage the systems.
…and thought it said “erection microscope”.
Which would clearly be TMI. 
::blink::
Um…ok. I really hadn’t prepared
::Rummages through briefcase::
>ahem<
The book I’m currently (re)reading is Terry Pratchett’s Witches Abroad. I was in the mood for a re-read of something, I just didn’t feel like tackling a new book, and Pratchett is always a good choice, since the depth and richness of his prose and characters benefits from multiple reads.
The plot involves the coven that was introduced in an earlier book (Wyrd Sisters) but is a stand-alone. A fairy-godmother dies and, since fairy-godmothers always come in pairs, it leaves the evil fairy-godmother unchecked. Except that the good fairy-godmother has sent her wand to the weakest member of the coven (Magrat) with strict instructions that Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg are absolutly not to come along. Knowing full well that that’ll infuriate Granny W. and Nanny O. so much that…
::looks around, sees people staring at him::
What?
She said she wanted an all male review! I’m all male! I’m giving her a review. What else would she want me to review? The last movie I saw was Puma-Man, via MST3K. I could review that…
Whatdaya mean she meant a “revue”?
She wants me to take my clothes off?
Ooo[sub]oooo[/sub]oooo[sup]oooo[/sup]kay.
::strips::
I’ve never done this in the nude before.
Is it drafty in here?
…ahem…anyway, as I was saying, so the Witches decide to go to to stop the evil fairy-godmother from feeding people to stories. This is a fascinating concept that Pratchett develops throughout the…
::big stick with a hook on the end grabs Fenris and yanks him off stage left::
Curtain falls.
Fenris
<snickers to herself>
<applauds andyman>
Is that what it’s called?! I think I like your idea though… a review within a revue. Oh, never mind! I just want to see a bunch of guys parading around for the personal pleasure of the SDMB women. Here’s a $5 for you… you can use it for a bookmark! 
OK, you asked for it!
::swish::
::flop::
::dangle dangle::
Who wants to see a helicopter?
Private show? That will cost you extra… there’s a room in the back. No, don’t worry about that big mirror! Nobody can see anything!!!
:rolleyes: Oh like that’s really gonna make me want you…Ahh…whoa. Umm…er…
:
: :o Uh…hi, Jester. So was that directed at me or at Persephone?
Fenris- well endowed and well-read. Encore, encore!!
Lights go down, the music starts, Doc walks out on stage wearing a construction worker outfit, complete with tool belt, jeans, white tank top, flannel shirt, and (yeah baby!) a hard hat…
I’m too sexy for my love
too sexy for my love
Love’s going to leave me
Doc slowly gyrates his hips, thumbs tucked into the tool belt.
I’m too sexy for my shirt
too sexy for my shirt
So sexy it hurts
Pulls off the flannel, spins it around his head, tosses it into the crowd…
And I’m too sexy for Milan
too sexy for Milan
New York and Japan
Turns around, shakes his booty, crouches to his knees and shakes some more booty, the jeans pulling tight…
And I’m too sexy for your party
Too sexy for your party
No way I’m disco dancing
Spins around, points his finger and dances, John Travolta style. The mirrorball kicks in.
I’m a model you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk
yeah
I do my little turn on the catwalk
Struts around the stage, takes off the toolbelt and drops it to the floor. Each time “catwalk” is sang, claws hand in the air like a cat and hisses…
I’m too sexy for my car
too sexy for my car
Too sexy by far
Does some driving motions, rotating hips along with the “steering wheel”.
And I’m too sexy for my hat
Too sexy for my hat
what do you think about that
Takes off the hardhat, licks the top of it and runs it down his front…
I’m a model you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk
yeah
I shake my little touche on the catwalk
No more silly cat claws. Rips off the tank top, revealing his bare, sweaty, <insert a couple of your favorite adjectives here> chest and stomache. Shakes touche on the touche line.
I’m too sexy for my
too sexy for my
too sexy for my
'Cos I’m a model you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk
yeah
I shake my little touche on the catwalk
Really starts to gyrate. Slowly tears himself out of the rip-away jeans. Reveals he’s wearing nothing but a bright red g-string. More disco dancing.
I’m too sexy for my cat
too sexy for my cat
Poor pussy poor pussy cat
I’m too sexy for my love
too sexy for my love
Love’s going to leave me
Jumps off the stage to move into the crowd… table dancing…
And I’m too sexy for this song*
Well, you’ve seen “The Full Monty”…
My god. I can’t believe I actually wrote that. AND submitted it.
AND moved onto page 2 by myself…
Whoa!! The good doctor is IN!!
Didn’t know you had THAT in you, bubba.
::stuffs a bill down the front of his g string:: At ease, boy…
Love that sexy “stomache.”
Miss B. Haven, you’re a genius!!
::walks in wearing nothing but a fig leaf and a hat. A very large fig leaf, if you know what I mean 
::
Howdy.
Thanks, little lady. Now I can afford to buy you a drink. <wink>
And “stomache”… ummm… it’s French… yeah, that’s it… French… that makes it sexier…
Yeah, Doc. I’m a trollop, if you catch me drift. I’d like a coke. Diet please!
Gunslinger…I catch your drift. You’re wearing a very LARGE fig leaf to make us think you’re very well endowed down there? That’s it, isn’t it?
well, I can tell you a few things about myself-
I biked over 1,500 miles last summer, and I kayaked for 3 hrs a day,
that says something, don’t it?
BTW,
http://www.geocities.com/adam_the_pyro_2000/muscles.jpg
::throws back a couple shots of Root Beer to loosen up::
::Gets in bikini undies and does the Deuce Bigalow dance::
Oh not bad. ::oggles him::
Root beer. Sweet child.
Here’s a roll of quarters. ::takes said roll and stuffs them down the front of his undies:: You’ll impress the ladies and have money for another root beer that way!
Adam, you scared everyone else away! Or was it me? Did i kill your thread, Miss?
I’M A MURDERER…::weeps::