I just find this interesting. These are such a new kind of community. What intrigues me is (a) why my first mild rebuke on a message board felt SO bad, (b) how real or unreal the community is perceived to be, and © Opal, let it go.
(a) is pretty simple. I posted for a while. Felt accepted. Someone called me a doofus or something, and I really got hurt by it, probably far more than I would in real life. My theory - and I’ll try to explain this as clearly as I can - is that I actually got a bigger, quicker social “buzz” from the board, for a lot less effort and input, than in a normal daily group relationship which is influenced by how I look, body language, etc, and so the first sting of realising these disembodied voices were actually just as flawed as everyone else, and I no different, was a real shock.
(b) How real is it? Is it easier to make friends here than in a pub somewhere? Does it take less self-esteem to start a thread than to try and start a conversation with strangers elsewhere? In another sense: how hard is it to lie? There have been examples on this board recently too, and I don’t want to say anything else about that situation because I don’t want to stir it, but as a younger guy I used to tell an awful lot of whoppers in real life, because I was painfully marginalised socially and felt I needed as much help as I could get. I suppose that kind of thing starts at school (“well, MY dad’s a ALIEN!”) and sometimes hangs on, maturing a little perversely, when adolescence proves more challenging. A lot of people go through things like that and while I was mercifully plucked from the sludge, many others go on with it, because it’s just easier. It makes them feel safer, more attractive etc., and is generally agreed to become a very serious problem in later life. So are we more attractive on the boards? Not just the SDMB, because there’s an undeniable transfiguration of beauty and charisma which happens to people as they first sign up here, but on others? In chatrooms? Is it easier to believe the good people say about you and ignore the bad 'cos it’s just a computer? Many folk here feel there’s a genuine community - I certainly do. I can see honest friendships growing up here, and a lot of folk meet in real life, but the meetings are in some senses secondary to the business of the boards. Where exactly are we when we meet here? Am I still in Glasgow? And if not, who just fed my cat?
Lastly… I didn’t want to post this as a separate thread because it’s really pretty banal, but… if anybody wants a laugh, I really recommend the message boards for RebelAct’s new game Severance: Blade of Darkness. Search a bit for questions about the bar. It seems spoiler questions have been getting posted in the GQ section so much, and the place is so unmoderated (the only mods are the game designers themselves, so I guess they didn’t expect the board to take off as it has), that the responsible citizens of the board have taken it upon themselves to invent some entirely fictional and hilarious accounts of semi-believeable game secrets, which then drive people INSANE. It has grown and grown, and some of the fake secrets are told in so confusing a style that they have to be read to be believed. It’s starting to get a little cruel, though, so most of the original jokers are owning up. It’s amazing how people will believe what they want to believe, though, even when the person they heard it from openly denies it. A fascinating study in the psychology of these boards. And in the distribution of free time to the middle income bracket.
Well, I laughed. I have been on nightshift, mind you.
Ahem I in no way condone the posting of fraudulent game secrets or otherwise deceitful material on the internet for purposes other than if it’s going to be REALLY funny… I mean, other than the promotion of democracy and clean living.
You are in a board with a lot of intelligent people. The smart people called you stupid. It sucks. Given a choice, people would rather be liked and respected than avoided and laughed at.