I’m on a German shepherd message board and asked a question and it turned into a debate about something completely irrelevant to my question.
After posting, and typing really hard…I went downstairs to start dinner…and was all grouchy!
Are you able to separate the two worlds? Or do you often get so worked up into a lather on board that when you return to your real life, you’re still fuming?
I only contribute to about 3 different message boards and unfortunately, this is the only one with a BBQ Pit…and I haven’t felt the need to post in it yet…YET!
It’s not easy to make me mad and I’m pretty good at not responding to things that piss me off until I calm down, but that often leads to walking away from the computer in a huff. It usually doesn’t last very long. If I end up finding that I walk away angry more often than not or that it’s affecting real life then I quit posting on that board and find another one.
A lot of times I don’t get the “it’s only the internet” thing. I behave pretty much the same whether online or off. For me, avoiding assholes and not starting fights that I don’t want to finish helps a lot.
The same things spin me up here as in real life: asshattery, wild assumptions, etc. So I deliberately avoid Great Debates and rarely visit the BBQ Pit, and I’ve learned – mostly – not to start a thread if I know that it will piss me off if someone who replies is a dick about it. Because in most cases, someone will be.
It’s rare for me to be outraged enough to take any negative feelings into “real” life, but it’s happened a few times over the years/boards. It’s how I’ve learned to avoid online debates and starting certain threads, and is also why this is the message board that I’ve been active on for the longest (I’ve never been kicked off one, but I’ve voluntarily left a few for my own sanity). For the most part, though, I don’t take stuff here personally/seriously outside of the context of the board.
When I walk away from the dope I kind of forget it exists. When I sit down in front of a computer I think, “Yay, the dope!” but if I go on vacation or have stuff to do that doesn’t really allow me to be online then I don’t really think about it at all, except for the people I met on the dope that I spend time with in meatspace.
I pretty much never walk away angry or embarrassed or annoyed.
There have been several moments with other strong emotions tied to them which have affected my day, though. The deaths, the births, the good days and bad days and all the other stories people share here have made me happy or sad or [insert emotion here].
But then, books affect me the same way. A happy story is a happy story, no matter where you read it. Same for a sad one.
Jim and I left a previous message board we were both members of because two of the more contentious members there tried to make trouble in our marriage by telling me that Jim was posting an ad on an online dating site, and telling me that they had told me about it and that Jim must have deleted the message to me if I hadn’t received it. These actions were unforgivable to both of us. So yeah, sometimes online stuff interferes with real life.
I get bugged by things here occasionally, but then I remind myself that the posters who piss me off are generally the ones who’ve made it their mission to piss everyone off.
First time I played mafia here on the dope, suggested a foolish pro-town scheme and got turned on for it, (and I was handed the doctor’s role :smack:) I was so upset I was obsessing about it even when I wasn’t in front of the computer.
That was when I knew I had to sub out of the game.
I find this an interesting topic. I have read posts on this board with folks saying, “It’s just a message board. Get over it.”, and I always wondered about that. Is it just a message board? Time ticks at the exact same pace, regardless of if you are spending it with real life friends, or cyberfolks. I can’t compare real folks to cyber ones, but still, time is spent on conversing with the people here. So why not admit that the people on the dope can upset you in real life?
That being said, I will say this; Exactly one poster on this board affected me to the extent that I mentioned him to my husband, and to a friend and they both had to soothe my hurt feelings. So that was the one time I took the board drama into real life. And I think that is because I clashed with him on issues that I know I am struggling with. So I guess that was mostly about me, not him.
And almost all threads about the poor, the black, the ghetto and hip-hop has the capability to upset me and get me emotional. But I can shake that off before I log off.
This. I generally stay out of the pit. I did run into was I thought was an unfair policy here once and that did put me in a nasty mood, and I even griped about it to a fellow Doper at a recent Dopefest. But generally I find this board to be somewhat respectful even in the debates forum.
I do however often either bring up something that I found interesting here in conversation with real life friends, or ponder something and think “I can’t wait to start a thread about this when I get home”.
For the most part, though, I don’t take stuff here personally/seriously outside of the context of the board.