When is it time to leave a message board?

Warning: Internet Drama follows.

Before I was so kindly directed to the SDMB by Idlewild, I hung out on a message board devoted to an online game I used to play, where one of the forums had turned into a current events/political debate forum. For a lot of years, it was a good place to debate between friends, get a handle on where the other side is coming from, etc.

But as I’ve figured out, all good things must come to an end.

Basically, someone who I had considered a friend of mine, who I kept entertained via IM when he was in Iraq as a soldier, etc, has been shitting all over the board, and the “moderator/host” follows a no moderation policy. He’s been irrational, a jerk, a fucking retard, etc.

Thing is, some really good discussion still happens, and I like interacting with a lot of the people there, but this mental midget keeps turning threads into his own tangents, etc. Around here, “Why do you hate America?” is a joke. He says it and means it in all of his self-righteous fury.

Anyways, now that I’ve vented a bit…is it worth sticking around to try to interact with the people on the other board that I want to interact with, or should I just give up and let this jackass have his playground?

Why can’t you put him on your ignore list?

Short of that, I don’t understand the concept of “leaving a board”. Every time I see a farewell post here or anywhere else, I roll my eyes and think “attention whore”, because there is never a need of a permanent departure. (Going pay-to-post is a duly noted exception, but announcing plans to leave is still pathetic in any context.)

Why can’t you just check in a few times a month to get the feel of the place without getting immersed in the drama?

Because he literally dominates the board. It’s not a huge community like thisi one.

I agree about the making a goodbye post and all that stuff…it’d just be me not going there anymore.

The reason I ask this is because I have tried just checking in…doesn’t work for me. I want to get in there and debate…and all that comes back is flaming feces. I suppose that’s a weakness on my part more than anything else.

Give the feces back to him. It’s not like he’ll show up at your door and kick your ass. When he asks you why you hate America… tell him it’s because it has assholes like him in it. Other-wise ignore him, if it’s not against board rules… tell him that you’re ignoring him.

Q:When is it time to leave a message board?

A:When a 500lb. gorilla sits on your fence.

Personally, I wouldn’t leave a message board because of a lone jerk. I’d dig in and make a fight out of it, but then I’m stubborn like that.

It’s all up to you. If you feel the message board is worth it, stick around. Maybe just lurk for a while. If it ain’t worth the stress, let it go.

How do the other regulars on that board feel about this guy? Do they support his positions, if not his conduct? Are there others equally as fed up as you? Do other complain about his behavior?

I would think that the username Exploding Kitchen evinces a certain tolerance for messy, flaming chaos.

The time to leave a message board is the same as the time to participate in one: when you feel like it. When you want the discussion enough to tolerate the sludge, go and discuss. When the sludge starts to get too deep, say so, if you think it will help. When it doesn’t help, withdraw.

I suspect a hidden question is, “Should I make my withdrawal from this message board an issue on said board, publicly blaming this other guy’s behavior?” Hard to say. Better not, I think. But if you decide otherwise, keep in mind that you can do it only once.

Message Boards can often degenerate rapidly when they become too much about one member, even when the member is a good person. When one starts to revolve around a member who lacks civility, credibility and humility in discourse, and is willing to use any tactics at all to disrupt or deflect any discussion not controlled by him/her, and who seems to be exhilarated and encouraged rather than chastened by the remonstrances of others in the community, and who establishes this pattern of behavior without moderator intervention, that message board is pretty much going to end up limited to a central unmannered boor orbited only by a few acolytes and antagonists, focused on a tiny and unrewarding subject.

Is this person still in Iraq? I would have a very hard time critisizing anyone who is, or has recently laid their life on the line. That doesn’t mean I’d agree, but I would tolerate because of the trauma they had experienced that I couldn’t identify with.

When Veterans have used their service to defend the war in Iraq I point out that many other veterans disagree with them so military service doesn’t elevate your opinion to being obviously correct. If a poster here on the SDMB becomes an irrational ass over some issue I just stop responding to their crap.

Perhaps you could get several posters there to simply talk to each other and not take the bait when this person vents. If not then simply choose. Do you still enjoy it or not? Don’t waste your time trying to reason with someone who just won’t listen.
I like the suggestion of simply taking a break and checking in less often.

When is it time to leave a message board?

When the amount of enjoyment you get from the board is no longer equal to the amount of effort you are putting in to it.

And another vote for: if the situation makes you unhappy- go ahead and try to change it. But I don’t see the point of a “Goodbye- I’m leaving because of X” thread, just fade away, then you can fade back if you change your mind or the situation changes. If there are particular posters you would miss- consider e-mail or other means of keeping in contact with them.

Just leave. There was a message board that I once liked for a local news channel. I thought that it was a great opportunity to discuss local news in the wide area that the channel covered. It had a fairly small membership. It ended up with one psycho ultra-conservative that responded to every thread with liberal slurs when there was any inkling that another poster in the thread didn’t hold a position supported by the extreme far right. Two psycophantic posters always showed up right behind him. I basically just left and quit visiting. I really think that the one guy turned off alot of potential posters, conservative, liberal, or in between.

I’ve also left a large firearms oriented board where specific types overt bigotry were allowed. Since 9/11, the most hateful, ignorant, bigoted things were allowed to be posted about Islam, Muslims, and Arabs. Similarly, the whole immigration issue on our southern border turned almost as ugly. And moderators never did a thing.

On hobby type boards, I think that it is better if sex, religion, race, and politics are forbidden subjects. The one gun forum and a truck forum that I visit has this policy. And I think that it is a good one.

Obviously a current events board can’t have this luxury by its nature. The Straightdope generally has enough fair and vigilant moderation that it’s not too large of a problem. Like the membership, they do seem skew to the Left at times though.

I agree completely on this. The D&D board that I frequent (and sometimes moderate at, when I’m not feeling lazy) has a rule called “Eric’s Grandma”: if you’re thinking of posting something that might alarm the grandmother of the site’s founder (we all picture a sweet little old lady with thick glasses and a knitting project in her lap), don’t post it. Politics and religion are right out, except strictly as relates to gaming material (a thread about special forces is okay if it’s in the context of a game set in modern times, but not okay if it’s a debate about whether the military ought to be employing more special forces in Iraq). And even oblique insults (“It’s obvious you’ve not thought very hard about this issue”) are verboten.

It’s great. Those rules aren’t appropriate for here, but they’re very necessary for a hobby board.

Daniel

Maybe you could find a board with a high population of fanatical left wingers and spend an equal amount of time there? Overall, that should balance out to a nice centerest message board experience. :cool:

When I leave a message board, it’s because I’m bored with the discussion, or I hava “culture clash” with the community that can’t be overcome. I only deliberately left one message board, when I was hit by the swarm.
When it becomes more work than pleasure, more frustration than joy, it’s time to leave.

Two years ago? :stuck_out_tongue:

Seriously, between the straight dope and the sundry moderated messageboards dedicated to discussing politics without personal attacks every few posts, it’s probably time to move on to new stomping grounds when the quality of discourse doesn’t outweigh the frustration of particular posters.

Yeah. If there is one genuine, articulate crank with a sycophant or two on a bboard – not just “your-a-looser-you-morron” pile-ons – it can become a truly rank shitfest. You see this in boards for academic or professional communities where status and insecurity are issues.

I tried to take on The Power once or twice in this situation (a classical music board) and was more or less handed my ass by the so-called moderator. I honestly don’t think he saw anything out of the ordinary in the high-handed, confrontational postings of some of his colleagues, though: they were respected professionals and teachers and had, I gathered, earned the right.

Ridiculous. I have no idea if you have anyone here you’d miss if they stopped posting, but I do, and I would prefer if they were going to leave that they let us know. Yeah, the periodic “I hate you all, I’m leaving and never coming back” sort of posts are weak but you’ve over-generalized.

Well, I left a Christian message board after I broke a second chair. It got to the point where it was giving me more stress than pleasure. The final straw was when I asked a friend and fellow member let people there know I was taking a break for a while because I’d been in a car accident. During the week I was gone, in an on-going discussion, I was lambasted and accused of being in league with the Anti-Christ because of my rather liberal views on homosexuality and other issues. I respected the beliefs of my more conservative brothers and sisters in Christ, but I realized I wasn’t going to be shown the same respect.

I wrote a graceful departure note in which I kept the reasons for my departure vague and thanked people for the things they’d taught me. As it happens, the board was having server problems, so my departure note may have been eaten.

When should you leave a message board? I’d say “When you stop enjoying it.”

Good luck with your decision.
CJ

On the board I run about the Montreal metro, I do not allow any discussion of Quebec sovereignty/federalism or language policy. It never goes well.

I don’t agree.

Many of the posters I interact with on a regular basis here interest me, at least to the extent that I would want to know what happened if they were to suddenly stop posting. There are some, admittedly, that I would shed no tears if they left the board; for others, a decision to leave would make me want to examine the board’s direction and perhaps push for a change.

In any event, even if the most idiotic Poster X left, I’d like to know he did it voluntarily as opposed to inadvertantly stepping in front of the Number 6 Express yesterday evening.

On most message boards, you have to have a valid email address. I would suggest that instead of having a goodbye thread, any interested parties could email them and ask them what they’ve been up to and why they haven’t been posting.