Ooh, ooh! I want to do promiscuity!
I speak as a member of the Loyal Gay Opposition (that is, I’m gay but quite conservative and have chosen chastity for religious reasons at this moment).
First, men are in general more promiscuous than women. So, this isn’t a gay issue as much as it is a male issue. This is observable even among straight men. The reason why straight men cannot afford to be as promiscuous is because women do not tolerate it as much. You have 1 promiscuous + 1 non-promiscuous = tempered promiscuity. But 1 promiscuity + 1 promiscuity = more promiscuity! As such, it is much more visible amongst gay men. I would venture to guess that if women were as promiscuous as men, sexual relations amongst gay men would look no different than sexual relations between straight men and straight women.
My theory is that evolutionarily men are wired to spread their seed whereas women are wired to nurture and care for their young. Promiscuity is not conducive to rearing and caring for young. Settling down means a stable environment for the young, which is why women are geared towards settling down, and men, eventually, desire it too.
From my conversations with various gay men, it becomes clear, as Priam said, that even the promiscuous are looking for love, looking for some commitment, and looking some sort of settling down.
And not all gay men are promiscuous. I know a few gay men who are very, very conscious about whom they sleep with. And I know a few gay men who are total whores. (I’m a total whore in that I’m attracted to and flirt with men with extremely ease; I’m an insufferable prude in that I refuse to get involved with any man. For me, it’s all look, no play.)
Another matter to consider is peer pressure. Some gay men are concerned that young gay men, when they come out, see only one model of gay men to emulate - the club-and-bar-hopping, one-night-standing model-looks-and-build mold that many associate with gay men. What these young men - and, indeed, others - do not see is the large number of gay men who lead relatively conservative and normal lives. It is not a requirement of being gay to get laid at least once a week, dance, do E, etc.
Check out this gay comic: Adam and Andy. I’ve spoken with the author numerous times. He’s a real great guy. Been with the same guy for more than a decade (I believe).
I remember a magazine I used to subscribe to: HERO, the magazine for men interested in issues other than sex and the clone-look. One of their slogans was: “Real men cuddle.” It was meant to be an alternative to the generic gay magazines out there which seem to pander to whole youth-and-sex crowd. (By “youth,” I mean young-looking, going for twinks, and the like, not pedophilia or ephebophilia.)
Gay people are very, very, very diverse.
WRS - I’m quite comfortable in my simultaneous gayness and prudishness, thankyouvermuch.