The Rants Came Marching One By One (March minirants)

The Page 3 website is now paid and UK only. In the past I’d found its 360 degree photos a useful artist’s reference, but now it is unavailable to me.

My dad sent a text to my cell phone: “Can you please call me?” Not sure why he didn’t just, yanno, CALL ME? Is that not how phones used to work? I got all worried thinking it was Something Big And Important.

Oh, and the best part was, the whole messaging thing was to warn me that the weather is turning bad. So he could have 1.) trusted me to step outside and go “brrr! Holy shit it seems to be chilly and there appears to be ice on all roadways!” and/or 2.) sent a text: “hey, be careful on the roads!”

Ah. I see.

Better luck next time you try to arrange a meet-up.

I hear you, my Corolla is the same way. I don’t live in Western Canada, but it’s been damn cold here, and I don’t like to leave my car running unattended and unlocked. And I’m too cheap to install a remote starter.

That being said, it’s fucking March. Why was it necessary to have another four inches of snow dumped on us? The four inches we got was better than the 6-10 they were predicting, but still. We’ve had plenty of snow, thankyouverymuch. I went out a little earlier to clear my car off so I don’t have to mess with it in the morning and my eighty-ish neighbor was out trying to clear her car off too. So I go over and help her clear her car and now my sore wrist is reminding me that it still hasn’t healed. Damn tendonitis. :mad:

Holy fuckballs. It’s March! I appreciate that there’s still 20 days left before it’s officially spring, but that doesn’t mean that the daily highs should barely be above 0! People keep talking about how at least we probably won’t be getting snow in May like last year, but they’re all dipshits. Snow is fine. I like snow. I’d take snowing and 30 in May over -10 in March any year.

Minneapolis Average Highs

March 1: 34
March 31: 49

Guess this year we get all the below average days for the first half of the month.

But I hate to tell people, when we’ve already had an above average year for snowfall, that the 30 year average is for just over 10" of snow in March.

Yeah, I didn’t have sense enough to seal the floor when I moved in…my '97 Jeep has marked its territory numerous times, but a few oil drips are to be expected in a garage (IMO). The nastiness from the brine, on the other hand, had to go. It looks like I was also successful in removing a large ink stain that was left when I threw the remains of a soggy newspaper into the garage on my way out one morning.

Yeah. My shovel broke right before the last big snow we had, so I went to Target to get a new one, and found that they were sold out, since the store had put them on clearance. Since, y’know, getting to Valentine’s Day in Minnesota means you’re sure to be done with snow for the season.

A can of fix-a-flat, kind of useless when the tire got eaten by the state pet, who are breeding line Tribbles.

So now I look like I have stretch marks because I itch so much I’ve been raking my flesh with my fingernails. When will this wretched winter be over?

My shins look disgusting for the same reason. I can’t keep any moisture in my skin.

In other news, one of my student loan creditors has recently decided to send me an email 10 days before my bill is ready. This would normally be nice but the email looks really scary and urgent. Every time I get it, I near shit myself wondering if I forgot to pay them last month. It’s like if the mortgage company sent all their bills out in red envelopes stamped with “NOTICE” in big letters. You open it up to find a friendly reminder that you owe them money in 20 or so days but not until after you had a heart attack thinking something had gone wrong.

So, you know on all the cooking shows they tell you “These are professionals. Don’t do this at home.” in reference to using a mandoline slicer without the hand guard? They mean it.

Trying to type today with a divot taken out of my right index finger has been both painful and annoying. I hope it heals soon.

The only way I’m happy with my mandoline is via use of a ‘cutting glove’ - it’s made of polyester and stainless steel fibers woven together, and feels like a slightly scratchy fabric. And if you’re cutting with the mandoline and one of your gloved fingers hits the blade, it stops the blow. (Check the fingertips now and then, as holes will eventually develop; replace promptly.) You can get these at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, etc. for $10-20. Totally worth it.

Minor rant:
Bah, everyone has a week off but me.

So I’m on an interesting field trip today, during which it is mentioned offhand that we go to Daylight Saving Time next weekend. Can this be true? If so, it’s crazy. DST is a sign of late spring. We are still locked in the iron grip of winter. I can’t remember the last time I saw unfrozen ground.

I’m thinking we should just eliminate DST entirely. It’s a 24-hour world anyways these days…

Thank you, Ferret Herder! The hand guard is a royal pain, especially when you have narrow potatoes, etc. I will have to invest in one.

That really is a neat idea. I love my mandoline, but it scares me sometimes.

Fuck board upgrades. Fuck board upgrades when they break shit

This.

This just supports my theory that our calendar is at least 4 weeks fast, and it’s still really late January or early February.