The Rapture

[QUOTE=Chimera]
You’re half right. See, Satan is going to convince the Space Aliens to give me a giant Space Ark and permission to scoop up as many Humans as I want to take along with me. While I’m doing that, God will rapture the believers. That way, everyone left will simply assume that I took a lot more people than I actually did, and that I concentrated on Christians.

I figure it will take me 3.5 years to sort out the people I want. Along the way, I will blast the fuck out of nations that annoy me. “Who is like the Beast, and who is able to wage war on him?” No one, bitches, because I’m the giant motherfucking Space Ark!

:wink:
[/QUOTE]

And what kind of qualifications must one possess to get a seat on this ark? Would calling shotgun be too presumptuous? I never know with these kinds of things…

[QUOTE=Lanzy]
If I were Satan, I would start sending things flying all over earth and take people out in the sticks captive. I would start a world wide conspiracy UFO movement and get a lot of folks believing that anyone could be ufonapped at any time. On the day of the rapture I would make sure thousands of witnesses saw them and blame the whole missing people thing on the space aliens.
[/QUOTE]

I recall that when I was a youth and attending a hard-core fundie Christian school that I read a Christian novel based on, pretty much, this premise. Rapture happens but Satan and his magic-demon types use UFOs as a cover story so that people don’t recognize The Truth of the Bible’s prophecy and repent.

I need to my Google-Fu on and see if I can find this gem of Christian literature.

MeanJoe

I should have known better than to Google “Christian fiction, Rapture, UFO”… my head hurts from The Stupid. :smack:

[QUOTE=MeanJoe]
I recall that when I was a youth and attending a hard-core fundie Christian school that I read a Christian novel based on, pretty much, this premise. Rapture happens but Satan and his magic-demon types use UFOs as a cover story so that people don’t recognize The Truth of the Bible’s prophecy and repent.

I need to my Google-Fu on and see if I can find this gem of Christian literature.

MeanJoe
[/QUOTE]

There was a book that had this same type of scenario called, I believe, “We All Fall Down”, author doesn’t matter.

After the Rapture, Satan/the Beast send telepathic messages to everyone left on earth under the guise of very advanced aliens, saying that they have cleansed the earth of all those who stood in the way of world peace (the Christians).

I don’t know if I would call this book Christian literature, though. The subject matter was interesting and followed Tribulation lore step for step, but the authors delivery seemed masturbatory to me. It was profane for the sake of being profane.

I would be interested to know if it were marketed as a Christian book upon its release. Anyone?

[QUOTE=SuntanTigerTamer]
There was a book that had this same type of scenario called, I believe, “We All Fall Down”, author doesn’t matter.

After the Rapture, Satan/the Beast send telepathic messages to everyone left on earth under the guise of very advanced aliens, saying that they have cleansed the earth of all those who stood in the way of world peace (the Christians).

I don’t know if I would call this book Christian literature, though. The subject matter was interesting and followed Tribulation lore step for step, but the authors delivery seemed masturbatory to me. It was profane for the sake of being profane.

I would be interested to know if it were marketed as a Christian book upon its release. Anyone?
[/QUOTE]

Not really. It was privately published & was never picked up by a major publisher. The author BTW is Brian Caldwell, and I would not say he was being profane just for the hell of it. He was just tired of “nice” Rapture novels & wanted to show how horrible it really would be, IF true.

I’ll look up the message board where he showed up to explain his beliefs & intentions on writing the book & post the link. He may or may not be a Christian but if so, he’s not the usual kind of Rapturist.

Btw, I think overall it’s the best Rapture novel ever written & only Quentin Tarantino could do it cinematic justice.

[QUOTE=hotflungwok]
What percentage of Christians think that St Peter will meet them at the pearly gates to discuss thier permanent living arrangements? That’s not exactly official doctrine but I’m guessing that’s going to be a fairly high percentage.
[/QUOTE]

I disagree. I think that most American Protestants consider the image of St. Peter at the pearly gates to be little more than the setup for some jokes. But I could be wrong.

[QUOTE=FriarTed]
Not really. It was privately published & was never picked up by a major publisher. The author BTW is Brian Caldwell, and I would not say he was being profane just for the hell of it. He was just tired of “nice” Rapture novels & wanted to show how horrible it really would be, IF true.

I’ll look up the message board where he showed up to explain his beliefs & intentions on writing the book & post the link. He may or may not be a Christian but if so, he’s not the usual kind of Rapturist.

Btw, I think overall it’s the best Rapture novel ever written & only Quentin Tarantino could do it cinematic justice.
[/QUOTE]

I think you are 100% right in that if the Rapture/Tribulation actually went down, it would be a lot like it is described in the book, and not at all nice.

I have read a lot of books that are violent, gory, and profane, but this one just made me feel kinda, I don’t know, icky.

When I was done, I realized that I was in possession of a book that I could not loan out to anyone. Any religious friends would be horrified, and the non religious friends would think I was crazy.

And I am very excited to read your link, when you post it. Thanks.

[QUOTE=SuntanTigerTamer]
I think you are 100% right in that if the Rapture/Tribulation actually went down, it would be a lot like it is described in the book, and not at all nice.

I have read a lot of books that are violent, gory, and profane, but this one just made me feel kinda, I don’t know, icky.

When I was done, I realized that I was in possession of a book that I could not loan out to anyone. Any religious friends would be horrified, and the non religious friends would think I was crazy.

And I am very excited to read your link, when you post it. Thanks.
[/QUOTE]

http://www.barbelith.com/topic.php?id=12064

The thread ends with a promise to continue but it never does. Caldwell really explains a lot in very little space on the thread.

Btw, read the reviews on Amazon. Your reaction is not alone, nor is mine.

eleanorigby on these boards has really lambasted the book. I’ll do a search for her comments.

Other “unique” takes on the Rapture-

the forementioned “Christ Clone Trilogy” by James BeauSeigneur, written so that the Rapture is not as obvious as a “mass disappearance” and the heroes & villians also are not as obvious;

THE DEAD by Mark Rogers, in which the truly virtuous (perhaps of any faith) are taken, and those left behind face an army of demonized cannibal-zombies led by Legion, who seems to be the AntiChrist. It sounds ridiculous but Rogers makes it work;

the Michael Tolkin movie THE RAPTURE, starring Mimi Rogers and David Duchovny-
a total gut punch;

and as long as I’m mentioning movies- a series which started in the early 70s and was completed in the early 80s (ALTHOUGH they are wanting to make a new one)-A THIEF IN THE NIGHT and the sequels A DISTANT THUNDER, IMAGE OF THE BEAST and PRODIGAL PLANET. Raw, amateurish & yet packed with a sincerity & primal intensity that the slick packaged LEFT BEHIND films can’t match. If you can only see one, A DISTANT THUNDER is probably the best;

and now that I’m on a roll, a series of movies done by the same people who made LEFT BEHIND but MUCH better- the poor beginning APOCALYPSE, and the kickass sequels REVELATION (with Jeff Fahey and Carol Alt), TRIBULATION (Gary Busey, Margot Kidder & believe it or not Howie Mandel), and JUDGMENT (Corbin Bernsen and Mr. T), the latter three also starring Nick Mancuso as Franco Maccalusso, the greatest movie AntiChrist ever (tho Michael York’s Thorn Alexander of the really bad OMEGA CODE and the much superior MEGIDDO has his moment.)

Can you tell I’m a connoiseur of this stuff?

eleanorigby’s look at WAFD-

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=6394497&postcount=13

I disagree, but given our different perspectives, that would be natural.

Also, an attempt 5 years ago by someone to start a discussion, but I had not yet read it- Brian Caldwell's "We All Fall Down" - Cafe Society - Straight Dope Message Board