The real pimp is here

Is this an “Ask the pimp” thread?

A Minny pimp?

And the winner of the “*I didn’t bother to read any of the forum descriptions is…[.i]”

Dear Straight Dope.

My pimp is broken. He only speaks in lower case. Can I return my pimp for a newer pimp that can spell? The ho’s are getting restless. Please write back soon.


Hey pimp, the goldfish in your heels are dead.

Everyone knows all the biggest Pimp Daddys are from Minnesota!

Is it true Minnesota pimps sometimes have trouble finding 12 inch snow tires for their low riders?

Is it true Minnesota ho’s smell like lutefisk down there?

Is is true that Lutheran’s will cap your punk ass in a Minneapolis minute for even looking at them crossways?

So many questions for the Minnesota pimp daddy.

Oh, this is gonna be fun.

Been playin’ “Pimp Wars”, have we?

Do we have pimp/harlot/gigolo forum?

Another mark against Dopers whose name ends in a number…

More importantly, do we have a “How Does One Become a Gigolo?” forum?

After considering the lifestyle of being paid to go on dates and then fuck hot professional women, this young buck is all ready to sign up!!

How in the hell do you test a pimp?

Somewhere in Minnesota, a scrawny, 15 year old white kid is thinking he is the coolest board poster ever by using an online persona that consists entirely of outdated slang, poorly constructed language, and incomprehensible idiocy.

Congratulations, dear sir, for managing to compose a post that a thousand monkeys on a thousand typewrites working for a thousand years wouldn’t have used to clean up the feces smeared walls from the previous evenings office party/mating ritual.

How in the hell do you test a pimp?


30% talent, 30% interview, 20% swimwear and 20% evening gown.

Ask him if he knows what animal gives us naugahyde?

Isn’t a young pimp called a pimple?

MMPI – Minnesota Multiho Pimp Inventory

Well it’s about time!

That was fast.

Hopefully, he does better on the math section than he did on the verbal, but I’m not holding my breath.