God damnit, like Diablo the chicken, I’M NOT EVIL.
I just have a very bitter nasty sense of humor. I don’t take pleasure in causing people pain. I take pleasure in watching people suffer slightly from what I did. The difference is, I enjoy doing things that cause people to stop for a second and ask, “what the fuck just happened”. Remember John Cleese in “How to Irritate People”, the true goal in life is to make the smallest of pinpricks in the back of their mind, then watch them try to scratch it as it heals.
Ok, its about time I share the duck and bunny stories.
It was High School, or Junior High… Both times are rather interchangable as I had the same goddamned 30 people in ALL OF MY CLASSES.
An ex-friend of my, Riddle and I came up with a plan. This plan was refered to as the ‘duck plan’.
The plan is simple. 1 stuffed duck, a mallard. Insert into the duck a primer (model rocket primer system is fine, it was tested and worked) a small amount of explosives. You can make a pretty good explosive from legal fireworks without directly tampering with the packages (details omitted because I don’t wanna piss off the FBI anymore than I need to). Link primer to explosive charge inside the duck.
You now have a remote controlled exploding duck, now what you ask.
How can you best use an exploding duck to fuck with someone’s mind.
Easy, hell that was easier to think of than making the damn duck.
Imagine this: You’re driving along a quite country road. All of a sudden (several hundred feet up the road someone runs out screaming flailing their arms ala Birds). Using another remote control to release the duck (duck is connected to some high test fishing line [hard to see] so that when you trigger the control the duck swings accross the road). The duck flies after the fleeing figure then dissappears into the trees. Second remote controled device is triggered, duck now flies twoards the vehicle and now is detonated.
End effect, someone is being chased by an exploding duck.
However there was a problem with this. After the plan was fully developed we realised doing this may not be smart. Imagine a family in a minivan, they are going to church. The duck swings down twoards them and explodes. The flaming debris smash into the drivers face causing a car accident and only one child survives. Picture an angelic little 6 year old girl telling the police, “the nice ducky was flying after a man. Suddenly the ducky flew at us and exploded.” Jury deliberations, 30 seconds.
Plan was scrapped.
Flash forward two years. Different friend, different plan.
We had just learned how to project images for illusions using mirrors. I had an old stuffed rabbit that looked like the Easter Bunny. It was nearing easter. We knew how to make a remote controlled detonation, several infact.
So we go to the park with 4 mirrors and an exploding stuffed rabbit.
Off at one side of the park we set up, we have two people to interdict any child that actually approaches the real rabbit and one person sitting near each mirror to ensure nobody gets injured. Basically we manage to bounce the image of the rabbit into some bushes and wait until a small child rushes over to see what this big old cudwly wabbit is. Then we detonate the sucker. The plan was to blow the arms, head then body. But the wiring was bad. The arms went then the body went, the head rolled around a bit then exploded.
Naturally the child ran off and we sprang into action the mirrors were hidden and everyone went back to doing what they were doing like nothing happened. Child and mother go to look at the bushes where the bunny was and found nothing. They asked my friend if he saw anything (he was 10 feet from the bushes where the final mirror was) he denied it.
God damnit I’m not evil!
This post is still miss titled, but then again I don’t give a damn
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