The really most bad most god awful movies ever made thread.

[Nobody]

Escape from LA. Damn, that was just…Damn!!!

[Reeder]

Y’all are playing above the rim.

I want movies made by local people. They just have to be available on DVD.

No more Hollywood stuff.

Lots of straight to video stuff out there.

[Mr.Blue_Sky]

@Reeder

Y’all are playing above the rim.

I want movies made by local people. They just have to be available on DVD.

No more Hollywood stuff.

Lots of straight to video stuff out there.

Go to SomethingAwful.com and click on their Movie Reviews section. You’ll find enough low budget crap to keep you in tears for a long time.

[ivylass]

Wasn’t It’s Pat, from the SNL sketch, pulled the same day it was released?

[kung_fu_lola]

@silenus

I just discovered a new low: Showgirls - edited for VH-1.

It’s even worse with all the language and nudity edited out!

The scene where they literally drew a bra onto Gina Gershon is the best - the audacity! I guess they couldn’t cut it, since it was a key scene, but they couldn’t show boobies. Oh, I know! Let’s animate a black bra into the scene!

[Hometownboy]

Some additional stunning examples can be found here, a thread I managed to kill [please, don’t let me kill again] with the following observation:

Let us not forget director Peter Greenaway and his bizzare The Pillow Book with its style-over-substance mania that Kenneth Tynan called “an air of smug pretension and a cold and gleeful delight in the poetry of excess.”

Pretty but vapid, with such charming scenes as a man using skin from his dead (male) lover to cover a book, and in the privacy of his own home … licking it.

Tons o’flaccid male nudity, a bit of twisted revenge, lots of scenes of people painting calligraphy on other nude people. Yep, it’s all here, complete with flat monotone speakiing voices and look-at-me cinematography, including oddly split screens, faux significant on-screen labels and commentary, etc.
But, hey, don’t take my word for it. These are taken from the “external reviews” tab at the IMDB:

At this point in his career, I feel my admiration for Greenaway no longer outweighs my impatience with the rigorously deliberate tedium of his recent films.—San Francisco Examiner

He’s [Greenaway] the grown-up version of a boy with a bee, a bottle and a razor blade. He can slice that insect into several sections – which he will dutifully catalogue in a grimy notebook – but it won’t occur to him that the bee is in agony. — Washington Post

[Hometownboy]

And while we’re at it:

Boy, howdy, that brings to mind Skidoo, a 1968 movie musical directed by Otto Preminger (!) and misusing a huge cast of characters: Jackie Gleason, Carol Channing, Frankie Avalon, Frank Gorshin, Peter Lawford, Burgess Meredith, George Raft, Cesar Romero, Mickey Rooney, Arnold Stang, Slim Pickens, even – fer chrissake – Harry Nilsson and Groucho Marx as God, in what, sadly, was his last film.

I used to own the soundtrack album for this train wreck of a film and kept it for years just to hear Nilsson sing the closing credits – that’s right, every last best boy, key grip and copywright notice set to sort of a free-flowing song. Bizarre beyond belief.

And, yes, I saw this in a theater way back then. There is next to no plot, and the actors look as confused as everyone else.

One of the reviewers on the IMDB says that Preminger’s daughter controls the negative to protect her father’s memory and that it’s never been released on video.

[DrDeth]

Battlefield Earth

Battlefield Earth (2000) - IMDb

I mean- this was a big budget film and everything. :eek:

[HPL]

@ralph124c

Like the “Holloween” series of crap movies. the first one wasOK, but the movies got progressively worse and worse. Of course, Donald Pleasance made a career out of “Halloween”, but the plots got sillier and sillier. Eventually, you get tired of watching beautiful, sexy teenagers get filleted and skewered. What was that other teen, mass-murder series (it was set at a summer camp, and everybody gets killed)/Of course, you get to see a lot of sexy girls stripping down (before the psychopath breaks in and kills them).

Most movie series work that way, but not all. There are a couple examples where the movie with the “II” is arguably as good or better.

And in a very strange example, the “Howling” Series follows this tend, but with an anomly. The first was pretty good, the 2nd was worse, but the third was better then the 2nd. Of course, then it goes ot a steep downhill slide.

[Tuckerfan]

Even though it hasn’t been released yet, I think that this film might well be the worst film of all time.

[HPL]

@Tuckerfan

Even though it hasn’t been released yet, I think that this film might well be the worst film of all time.

They’re making another one?

YOU MANIACS! YOU MADE ANOTHER ONE! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!

For the record, as a kid, I thought the first one was funny. And I thought the 2nd was one was funny, but not quite as much as the first. And after a while, they seemed less and less funny as the series went on. It’s a perfect of a series that may have started out good, but the quality was inversly perportional to the roman numeral after the title. In fact, there should be a law that states something like that, maybe even with the mathimatical equation that that the movie number will be used as the denominator.

So the first movie in the series will be 1/1 or just 1(for establishing the level of quality). The 2nd movie in the series will be 1/2, or 50% of the quality of the first. 1/3=33%, 1/4=25%, continue for number of sequels.

[vl_mungo]

@Reeder

Y’all are playing above the rim.

I want movies made by local people. They just have to be available on DVD.

No more Hollywood stuff.

Lots of straight to video stuff out there.

Ok, this is below even straight to video… a friend of mine made this video. Maybe it’s what you had in mind.
Graveyard

[Reeder]

@vl_mungo

Ok, this is below even straight to video… a friend of mine made this video. Maybe it’s what you had in mind.
Graveyard

That’s exactly what I had in mind.

Thanks!

[Mirror_Image_egamI_rorriM]

Frogs!

My reaction to this was “What the hell?”

[FisherQueen]

I have the dubious distinction of being one of the fifteen people who saw Cool World in the theater. Ever since then, it has been the benchmark of bad film for me. I’ve seen Glen or Glenda, I’ve seen Millennium, but nothing has ever equalled the degree of pain of being in a dark room, with Cool World filling all of my senses.

[Loopydude]

@Mirror Image egamI rorriM

Frogs!

My reaction to this was “What the hell?”

Ooooo, speaking of frogs…

MAGNOLIA

Fear this flick. Few films in recent memory illicit greater feelings of revulsion in me than this self-conscious, self-indulgent, insufferably precious, pretentiously random, stupifyingly boring, utter steaming ball of SHITE.

Fuck Paul Thomas Aderson with a grappling hook for conceiving of this abomination.

[wonderwench]

Bless The Beasts And The Children

Truly horrible flick featuring Billy Mumy as a teenager. I have mercifully blanked most of it out - but have visions of bleeding buffaloes.

[Glassy]

@FisherQueen

I have the dubious distinction of being one of the fifteen people who saw Cool World in the theater…

I’m one of the other ones. At the time I was extremely keen on Roger Rabbit and the coolness of merging animation with live action (which was extremely cool in 1991, I assure you). **Cool World ** was a bitter, bitter disappointment.

[raz]

Okay, here’s my pick for “worst movie ever”. No one that I know has ever heard of this movie. I will be damn suprised if anyone else here has seen it. I don’t even know how I came across it in the first place.

Slugs. Yes, it’s exactly what you think. Killer slugs! They’re mutants! They’re TWICE as fast as ordinary slugs. Oh what I wouldn’t give to own this movie and watch it just one more time. The really sad thing is, this movie scared the crap out of me as a child. I would just watch it over and over at my grandma’s house (why she had this movie I really couldn’t say, she’s actually a pretty normal lady) until it scared me so much that I made her burn the tape.

I love the Spanish name for the movie. Muerte Viscosa. Oh god no, they’re Dead Viscous! And also you get the most hilaroulsly awful sex/death scene ever with this movie. Slugs killing people having shower sex because -remember- these slugs are TWICE as fast as ordinary slugs.

[Askance]

You want the worst of the worst, you get it. I give you the oh-so-slightly unauthorized Turkish versions of these all-time classics:

E.T.

Star Wars

Star Trek

Wizard of Oz

It is to weep. Mostly with cruel laughter.