The Republican national Convention

Ah, the state constitution may throw a new wrinkle into it – I was thinking of the federal one. However, I’m not sure that your conclusion necessarily follows, because there are lots of examples of restrictions being enacted despite the Second Amendment and surviving constitutional scrutiny, like the open-carry ban in DC. The rationale supporting those restrictions has nothing to do with the “militia” preamble but simple matters of common sense, like the fact that it may not be a terrific idea for batshit crazy rednecks to be roaming the streets of Washington, DC festooned with assault rifles. The same logic might seem to apply in Cleveland next week.

Perhaps Kasich indeed doesn’t have that authority, although I’d bet that there would be a variance of opinion among legal experts on something that has probably never been tested.

Karl Rove called airport security on Alex Jones because Jones kept bugging him about whether he was going to support Trump at the convention.

That may be the best part of this whole election

All this gun stuff aside, I want to know how the decision went that a big prime time media draw would be Lynne Patton, Vice-President of the Eric Trump Foundation. “Honey, change the channel! Lynne Patton’s going to speak!”

I guess she gets the unenviable position of trying to convince everyone that Trump really isn’t a racist?

I’m going to flip over to the convention at some point this week and there’ll be a close-up of a wild-eyed 70-something white man feasting on the entrails of a bloated corpse on the floor of the convention while fires burn and empty Glenfiddich Whisky bottles are flying in the background. The picture will be sideways because the cameraman dropped the camera and ran; the charred smoking corpse dangling from the convention center rafters may or may not be him. A tiny woman with large blonde hair wearing a sparkly red-white-and-blue pantsuit will casually walk up to the wild-eyed man and shoot him in the back of the head with a .44 Magnum. I’ll turn to my wife and be like “It’s Wednesday already?”

It certainly is from Alex’s point of view. His fans just eat up the whole persecution complex which feeds into their unwarranted self-importance: “They attack us because we’re dangerous! We frighten them, like how people are frightened of me when I tell them The Truth about lizard people spreading mind-control gas in the chemtrails to prepare them for the FEMA camps!”

Jesus Christ. Much more of this, and I’m liable to go Full elucidator and start praying to the Universe for a full-on Trump-Pence-Jones three-way free-for-all right in the middle of the convention.

Or, if I’m especially persuasive:

Right before Trump announces Pence is his Veep in front of God and everyone, Jones will show up, and start banging on the glass door, shouting “Donald! Donald!” Trump will, conflicted, pause, and after a pregnant moment, look up and shout “Alex!”

Jones, with surprising strength for a man of his lifestyle, will fight his way past the guards and race up to Trump to take his rightful place as Vice-Loon. Pence is kicked out as someone starts to play “The Sound of Silence” over the PA system.

Steven Colbert (briefly) hijacks podium at RNC.

Dressed as his “Hungry for Power Games” character, Colbert got hustled off stage within seconds, but not before getting off this line:

“I know I’m not supposed to be up here. But then, to be honest, neither is Donald Trump.”

The opening day theme for the convention, btw, is ‘security’. Hee.

… and people start applauding him!

That’s gotta be a sketch of some kind with an actor as the security guard.

I hope it’s not too late, but I’ve prepared an agenda for the convention. Please, Republicans, feel free to use it.

  1. Night 1. Donald Trump Is Great! Featured Speaker: Donald Trump.
  2. Night 2. Donald Trump Is Rich! Featured Speaker: Donald Trump. 2nd Speaker: a talking calculator.
  3. Night 3. Donald Trump is Smart! Featured Speaker: Donald Trump. 2nd Speaker: Sarah Palin.
  4. Night 4. Let’s Build That Wall! Featured Speaker: Donald Trump. 2nd Speaker: Mexican day laborer who needs a job.
  5. Night 5. Donad Trump Has An Enormous Penis! Featured Speaker: Donald Trump. 2nd Speaker: Melania Trump.

You’re welcome.

When is the actual nominee election held?

Re: Palin attending the convention

Probably not a problem. According to Kathleen Parker’s column today, 700 hotel rooms earmarked for 1400 volunteers have been returned – they’re not going to the convention.

John Miller and John Barron are going to be pissed about being snubbed.

Eh, they’re losers!

Even Pence won’t have a speaker slot.

He’ll have a speaker slot. Which he will gracefully yield to Trump after being hurled off the stage.

In the real world, today is about Benghazi and emails. Er, “Making America Safe Again.”

List of speakers and each day’s themes. I know this has been posted before, but this thing still seems to be in a bit of a flux, so it very well may have changed since the OP.

That list at least has Ryan, McConnell, McCarthy and Christie on it (all on Tuesday) but it looks like none of them have a prime time slot? they take a back seat to the general manager of Trump Winery?

Priebus asks for a moment of silence for the fallen police officers. And, by God, it was only a moment.

I’ve never seen anyone in such a rush to end one of those.

That’s one white convention. Wow.

Funniest fucking thing I’ve read in some time. Took me to tears, it did.