The rock in the box: I burning your dog

The BBQ Pit
#1

If there is one person I could mercilessly kill… without being a war… a bar fight… or “the right situation”, It would have to be the inventor of the rock in the box. What THE fuck were you thinking? -Or in this case, what were you supposed to be thinking that you were not… ? so I know how to keep another pointless product from ever happening?

“It’s about to go down…” they call me… the police. I respond: “I’m on this… go in there and chill them crackers out…” I break in the door like the agent smiths in the Matrix Reloaded except this time the asskick is real. I just burned your Golden Retrever. I hope it hurts… this time think about the stupidy you’re about to spread across the planet. Minority Report is true… pre-crime works… If you know of anybody about to make another pointless product even remotely like this please do post.

Have a nice day.

Beginner's Guide to Glossary of Terms on Straight Dope Message Boards
#2

Got into the Labor Day brandy a bit early, did we?

#3

Not yet… Saving that for later… I’ll be sure to post then too for ya
:smiley:

#4

< Twilight Zone Music > Ooo–kaaayy! :eek: < /Twilight Zone Music >

#5

I’ll let that speak for itself.

Now be a good chap: calm down and tell us what the fuck you’re on about?

#6

“Chill them crackers out?”

Is this thread going to be as good as your I am sick of women thread?

#7

I don’t know what ‘rock in the box’ is, but unless it’s a kama sutra position, I’m guessing it’s a cousin to the pet rock or weather rock. The short answer is: blame the market, not the marketing. The long answer is: without willing consumers, there would be no such products. People are dumb… Which brings back to you: learn to write coherently or bugger off.

#8

Well. That was…something.

Is it my lack of coffee, or is incoherence the base coat of the OP?

And whose dog got their ass kicked on COPS? I miss everything!

#9

Here we go… just a thread people… just a thread.

For those of you who don’t know what a “Rock in the Box” is, it was a “toy”, I guess you could say that was a container… on the outside it said something to the effect of Inside is a rock… a magic rock. You can’t see the rock… you can’t hear… the rock but if you put the can down and…something, something, something the rock magically appears in side the box… but if you lift the lid the rock loses it’s magic and disappears (there are no windows on this can… just a colored can) so you have to keep the lid on…

…on and on, ta da! The MAGIC ROCK!

I don’t like it… no sir, not one bit…

#10

Just a helpful tip, Thaidog: you don’t actually have to tell us about every thought that enters your head.

Even if the voices order you to.

#11

I know what you mean – it’s really irresponsible of people to sell magic like this just to any fool with the money to pay for it. Magic should remain mysterious and sacred and should only be held by those with the wisdom to use it well.

However, you needn’t fear in this case. The rock in a box is a scam. Get this: there is no rock in the box.

What a relief, eh? No magic being sold to an ignorant public. You no burning they dog. Everybody happy.

Daniel

#12

I think the title of this thread would make a fantastic rap lyric. A Busta track in the making…

#13

Oh my goodness there’s a great sig line. :smiley:

#14

It’s hurts… every time somebody says “I lost that magic… whatever”, it automatically queues up somewhere in the back of my head ROCK IN THE BOX. At first it was funny… now only the bar scene helps. I’m out.

#15

Agreed. Magic plenty bad. So fire. Magic fire burn. Burn dog. No like.
W.

#16

If my thoughts scare you, you should quit reading my threads… then again, you could profit and make a killing off my psyc bills…

#17

Remember, as Frankenstein Auto Motors says, fire baaaaaaaaaaaad! Red hot deals, goooooooooooood!

#18

As the legal representative of The Rock in the Box©, my client has this to say:

“To be perfectly frank, I don’t care much for you, either”.

My client does, however, appreciate your warm wishes for a good day and wishes the same for you and yours.

#19

It’s not a rock inside, it’s a cat. Belongs to a guy named Schrodinger, apparently.

#20

Nah, can’t be Schrodingers cat, that over at my place, drinking cream. Of course, whenever I actually look for it, it is not there somehow.

Weird, you think perhaps the OP has taken Physics for Stoners 101?