It was bedtime and that means it’s time to turn off the lights and go to bed. Simple enough. At least until it was the stand-up lamp in the living room’s turn to be doused. The turny thing that turns the stand-up lamp on and off in our living room stopped turning. Actually it kept turning. Around and around. But the lamp stayed on. Oh no! The lamp is broken! But it was a cheap lamp we got at Target. “I’ll just get another one” I figure. And I went to bed.
scene II
next day
I thought about the “lamp problem” for a few minutes and figured “Hey! It might just be the socket!” So, with a little twisting and unscrewing I had the socket out in no time. I’m good at taking things apart. Nearly as good at putting them back together later. My plan was going to take the old socket to the hardware store and hold it up next to a new socket to make sure they were the same and buy the new one and slap it into the lamp and presto!, done. Only when I had the old, allegedly broken socket out, I took some pliers and tried to turn the threaded stem that the turny thing goes on. It turned easily! So it wasn’t the socket. It was the plastic screw-on turny thing piece. It had a crack in it and might have also been stripped. So off to the hardware store. Only instead of looking for a new socket, I just needed a new turny thing. How hard could that be to find?
scene III
hardware store
Real hard as it turns out. Home Depot, living up to my expectations, didn’t have a replacement turny thing. Oh wait! Yes they did. A two pack of really short ones. I needed a long one. So Home Depot was no help. Big surprise there. But on the way home I go near an Ace Hardware store. These are nearer to the old timey hardware stores that have a little of everything, but not a lot of anything. Plus it has a Post Office contract station in it, so I could mail a letter if I had one. The Ace store had what I needed. Sort of. They didn’t have one long turny thing, but they did have a short turny thing and several lengths of turny thing extenders. A turny thing extender and a short turny thing and the lamp was as good as new. The bad news is I had to get a brass turny thing. It matches the turny thing extenders, but not the lamp so much. The lamp is mostly black with a white shade. Brass wasn’t my first choice for a turny thing. But it makes it work, so that’s good as far as it goes. Ace might have a black turny thing to go with my lamp but I didn’t feel like rooting around anymore. Maybe I’ll get up the gumption and hunt down a black turny thing, but I’m not betting on it. If you’re looking at my living room stand-up lamp so closely you notice the turny thing doesn’t really match the rest of the lamp, you have issues and I’d want you to leave my house.
scene IV
coda
That’s when I found out we were out of light bulbs. It’s related to the first job, but that light bulb was still good. The bulb in the back porch light is burned out. We have a milk crate full of spare bulbs. We had a milk crate full of spare bulbs. Now there’s a lone 3-way bulb and replacement headlight bulbs for the cars. I need new light bulbs. After I’ve been to the hardware store where they have that sort of thing. I wasn’t going back out right then. So the back porch still needs a new bulb. And we need spares for when the lamps burn out. But that’s a tale for another day.
We’re moved into our new (rental) house, but still in a lot of boxes. Some lamps are assembled, some not, too much stuff for the size house, etc. Last night, about 11 pm Mrs. Shibb and I turned in. Just as I was about to drift off to sleep, the light in our bathroom turned itself back on. I heard a click and there was the light on. Any idea how that can happen?
Do we have ghosts? The house is only a few years old, tops. Maybe it’s built on an ancient Indian burial ground.
About 2 weeks ago, one of the filaments burned out on the 3-way bulb in the lamp on my nightstand. Got a new bulb, put it in, turned it on the first click, and blew the filament. Harumph.
In other news, if you buy a new fixture for the lamppost in your front yard that takes weird off-gauge lightbulbs, you may want to make sure that said lightbulbs are commonly available outside of Taiwan.
I have battled a light fitting for months now. I have named it cookie monster because it requires regular feeding. I insert a bulb, it glows for a couple of weeks then…FEED ME (if you feel the need to tell me to throw this desk light away because it may EXPLODE, feel free but my mother beat you to it and it’s on the LIST!).
We should all become Victorians with candles and gas thingies.
I’ve got candles, kiwi. And gas too, but somehow I don’t think we want both in the room at the same time.
Rue, how tasteless! A brass turny thing on your black and white lamp? Swampy needs to come decorate your place for you. Obviously you don’t have what it takes to be a master of style.
I really have trouble when you all use such technical language.
My biggest light achievement was buying turny things that looked more like the ends of old keys, rather than knobs, for my bedroom lamps. Now I am no longer embarrassed when trying to turn off my lamp after putting hand cream on.
We have a family story about my sister getting trapped in her car, back in the days when you had to pull up on door locks. Her car had the smooth kind, and she had just eaten a piece of Kentucky Fried Chicken, and forgotten napkins. She had to sit in her car in front of the dry cleaner’s for 20 minutes before she could get out.
Mr. Anachi inherited two gorgeous alabaster lamps his folks bought in Italy. Howsomeever, both lamps needed rewiring, deep cleaning, and some new shades. I took on the project and made an expedition to the HD where I found all the works for rewiring. I was pretty proud of myself cause I’d never done that before. The shades were a different matter. It took several forays to different stores till I found just the right ones what have curvey panels and silky braiding.
Welcome back bob! We missed you! How was your week?
Where is the swampy/ACBG midlife crisis/cruise story???
merrily, I’m kinda glad your sister wasn’t driving what wif all that chicken fat on the steering wheel.
[girly post]I went shopping Saturday and got the cutest black swede jacket for only $14.99!!! But now it’s warming up so I have to wait to wear it. [/girly post]
I’m debating myself on whether I should tell my tale here, or in The Pit so I can use all the good cuss words. I think the fact that I’m not wanted in Indiana for shooting up a mortgage company can only be explained by the cops not figuring out that I ought to be a suspect.
The story will follow later today.
Swampy and I both spend a week getting f*cked, but he at least has fun doing it…
You know how I do love me some technical language (forgive me merrily) (Oh, and was your sister wearing pants? Napkins that cover your legs, pants are.) but I’ll try to keep things simple Shibb. It could be one of three different things with your Lamp Mystery.
When you switched off the bathroom light, you didn’t push the switch all the way down. Just enough to break the connection and shut off the light, but not all the way to the “safety” possition. As the wiring cooled off, the switch slipped and click your bathroom re-lit itself.
B) That’s when the Electric Company (Hey you guuuuyyyyyssssss!!!) “flushes the lines”. They send a big jolt of electricity down the wires to get all the crud that builds up throughout the day. Sometimes it makes cheap switches switch for no other reason.
iii- Demons.
Bob, was it about 11 o’clock? You could have just turned the lamp on when they were “flushing the lines”. Stranger things have happened. Like this one time? There was this family in Florida? They were going to bed? And their bathroom light came on. For NO GOOD REASON!
Continuing with me Electrical Helping, Kiwi (Good to see ya! How ya been?) it’s obviously your “take up” wire in your lamp. See, the electricity comes out of your wall (“pink electricity” comes out of the closet) and goes through your lamp (along the “wires”) then, after it squirts through your light bulb it’s all tired and has to go back into the wall for a rest. Obviously the wire it has to go through after it makes the bulb bright is too small. The electricity gets all backed up in the bulb and wears it out real fast. You should take the whole lamp apart and re-wire it. You could just re-wire the “take up” side, but both wires are stuck together and you’d have to split them up and then glue the new wire onto the old one. This is a LOT of bother, so you should just change out all the wire at one go. The hardest part of the whole thing is figuring out the “underwriters knot”, or as I like to call it “the big wad of duct… electrical tape”.
Or you could just knock it off your desk, blame it on the kid and get a new lamp. A Perfect Plan.
Welby, talk like that will keep you out of my house. You have been warned. (And if Swampy got in our home in full Decorator Mode, his head would explode from all the possibilities. He has to stay out for his own good and head health.)
-Rue. (been a while since my reply was long enough for one of these, huh?)
We replaced the lightbulbs in our overhead light this weekend. We have light. It’s nice, becausew the weather has just gone into full November-gloom-mode. I don’t mind it, but lots of other people are complaining. I like relative cold. It’s 5C right now.
I got money from my in-laws. I think I will buy a new medium-sized soup pot. Not very exciting, but the old one scorches everything. And I’ll get some transit tokens so that I can start dance class again, and get all wiggly.
Aerin-kitty is screaming because Mr. Lissar is showering unsupervised. She doesn’t like it when her humans do things alone. She thinks it makes us uppity.
She turns on lights for no good reason. I think she thinks the switches are bugs on the wall or something, and she jumps for them. Sometimes she will hit the switch just right and blind us in the middle of the night.
She also fetches and likes her belly scratched, so we haven’t gotten rid of her yet.
Rue please tell me the turny thing is antique brass and not shiny brass. Antique brass I can live with, but shiny brass is just tacky! Antique brass would go well with a lamp that’s mostly black with a white shade. Shiny brass, however, well… I don’t even want to think about you putting a shiny brass turny thing on your lamp.
Hey y’all I’m back! The cruise was f-aaaaaa-bu-lous! Lots of good food. Lots of rum drinks. Lots of dancing. Lots of good food. More rum drinks. Lots of good food. A really cool suite with a king size bed that had curtains all around it. More rum drinks. Lots of good food. Shopping in Nassau. Duty free shopping on board. Lots of rum got bought. Oh and ACBG and I made good use of the bed with curtains all around it. I didn’t get seasick. Neither did ACBG. We had lots of rum drinks. Oh, and lots of good food. Oh and I won $25.00 at blackjack and $15.00 playing slot machines. Then there were more rum drinks. And lots of good food. I got over my mid-life crisis. Did I mention we had lots of rum drinks? Did I also mention there was a lot of good food?
Shibb you live in a haunted house. Cool!
vunderbob I’m going to the pit soon to see if you told a story with lots of good cuss words. I do love a good story with lots of cussin’ in it.
I have a cabinet in my laundry room that’s full of all kinds of light bulbs. Except for the one kind of light bulb I need for the overhead light fixture/ceiling fan in my study. I can’t find one the right size, so now I only have two light bulbs that burn in it instead of three. I got to find the right light bulbs soon or I’ll be in the dark cause that light bulb burned out two months ago and I ain’t replaced it yet. I’ll be in my study on my puter one night and all the light bulbs will blow. Then I’ll be in the dark. I might get scared! :eek:
So, what happened while I was gone? Fill me in. I want all the details.
