The Scylla Challenge

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

Damn, damn.

#4 features buttered corn. Diogenes beat me to it.

#28 I knew I was the Thing, I didn’t know who dissed me.

22

I really didn’t cheat by reading other people’s answers on this one…

  1. Jameson Parker and Susan Blanchard were in Prince of Darkness, and Susan was in They Live with Rowdy Roddy. However, Parker wasn’t in Riptide, he was in a *Riptide * ripoff called Simon & Simon.

  2. If you go in for that type, yeah.

  3. Donald Pleasance and he died in 1995.

  4. The punchline is, “I will tell you the truth, I don’t care if you have sex with my daughter anymore, just don’t use my hairy ass as a score board!” Hardy har.

  5. Joe Miller, though his version diverges a bit from your version.

  6. Depends on which light. On my VCR, a light blinks only when I have set the VCR for timed recording but haven’t put in a tape and/or turned off the VCR. On other VCRs, sometimes you have to set the time to get that to stop blinking.

  7. The string says “I’m a frayed not/afraid not.” My favorite joke because it’s the only one I can remember.

  8. Masterdebaters are to Gaudere as Flaming gays are to Coldfire(?)

  9. I can accept getting this one wrong. It’s too bloody cold in my house for needless nudity.

  10. Play-Doh because it’s a toy AND a snack.

  11. A deformed starfish, I believe.

  12. Hamburger?

  13. Not possessing a peter of my own, I cannot rightly say yes, though I endorse such behaviors in general.

  14. Jennifer Garner, Ricardo Montalban, Antonio Banderas (only because he was such a hot Pancho Villa), Ponch, Emilio Estevez.

  15. Of those choices? Obviously I’d choose Jennifer Garner, and I’m a straight woman.

  16. According to Smeagol, the defining characteristic of hobbitses is that they are tricksy.

  17. Yes, and frankly, I was surprised they killed her off. She was so evil, I thought she’d live forever. I’ll miss her.

  18. Shirley Temple, as long as it was a happy little ditty. OR the Red Hot Chili Peppers, if it was a pretty little ditty. Am I warm?

  19. http://chooseart.artselect.com/perl/frMagnify?artID=13985&matID=247&frameID=335&customerID=49195784-363403050

  20. I came for you, for you, I came for you, though you did not need my urgency.

  21. We were heading for Bear on I one oh about a mile out of Shakeytown. I said “I say Pigpen, this here’s the Rubber Duck and I’m about to put the hammer down…”

  22. Neither. Gross. If I had a gun to my head I’d choose Mickey D’s because their fries are better.

  23. Shrimp, is that you?

  24. Keep adding oil to keep the level up and empty the pan on a regular basis. Then redeem all your deposit bottles and get the damn thing fixed. And use duct tape, if you want an authentic MacGyver feel.

  25. He is obvioulsy a doctor of doom studies, which he got as an honorary degree from the University of Evil.

  26. Because nature abhors a vacuum. It would implode.

  27. Rabbit, cow, horse, dog.

  28. The Thing, and it would be nightfall (?)

  29. Yes, if it’s a standard. If you can release the brakes, you can roll it with the clutch disengaged and the transmission in fourth or fifth gear. To turn the engine over, just engage the clutch.

  30. "Yo baby, yo baby, yo baby, YO!

How’d I do?

23

I didn’t cheat. Here we go.

  1. That guy with the mustache who was in that Magnum PI ripoff series, “Rip Tide” or something, also starred in a cool John Carpenter movie. His girlfriend in the movie falls into a mirror and comes back as the devil or something in a dream that is a time travel message. That actress had really weird looking eyes, and she was in another John Carpenter movie with Roddy Piper. What were the names of this actor and actress and what were the movie’s names?

I don’t know the guy’s name. But if you’re talking about the guy I think you’re talking about, the Magnum rip-off show he was in was Matt Houston. The chick’s name was Meg Foster, and the movie was They Live . Great movie.

  1. That girl was kind of hot wasn’t she?

She was very hot. If you’ve got a thing for her, you might check out a little film called Masters of the Universe. She plays a soceress called “Eve-lynn” (pronounced “Evil-in,” get it?). She wears spandex. And she’s evil. A young Courtney Cox is in it, too. It was her first movie after her breakthrough in that Springsteen video, “Dancing in the Dark,” you know, the one where it was phony-live and he grabs her hand and takes her on the stage and they dance, you know, except there’s a crowd and stage lights and it’s not that dark, really.

  1. The other guy in that movie, the bald guy was also in that Halloween Movie. What’s his name and is he dead or what?

That’s Donald Pleasance. He played Dr. Loomis, the gun-toting psychologist (“Too silent! Too deadly!”). He blew himself (and Michael) up at the end of Halloween 2. But then he came back in Halloween 4 or 5, whichever one was subtitled “The Return of Michael Myers” (although I guess it could have been subtitled “The Return of Michael Myers and Dr. Loomis”). Interesting thing, in that movie, his face was all made up like he’d been badly burned. Fake scar tissue over the eye and everything. But Pleasance had also played Blofeld in a couple of James Bond movies, where he had almost the exact same kind of scar tissue make-up. I guess Pleasance had a fetish for that stuff. Just thought I’d mention it.

  1. What’s that joke where the the three guys show up at the farmer’s house and ask to spend the night, and the farmer says ok, but you can’t sleep with my daughter?

The one I know goes “Okay, you can spend the night, but you have to sleep with my daughter…”

  1. According to Riverworld, who first told that joke?

I can’t remember.

  1. How do you make a VCR light stop blinking?

Move, and when the cable guy comes to your new house to set up your cable, ask him to do it. He’ll know how.

  1. These three strings walk into a bar. The first string goes to order a drink and the bartender points to a sign that says “no strings served.” Later the second string says that you gotta show athority so he walks up to the bar and tries to act all gruff and threatening as he orders a drink. The bartender says “Listen Bub, it’s like I told your friend. No strings served.” So the third string says “watch this.” He ties him self up into knots and stuff and then he rubs himself really hard so he’s all frayed and rough looking, like a shipping rope or something. Then he goes up to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender says “Yes sir,” but then take a second look and says "Hey wait a minute. Are you a string? The string says ____?

“I’m a frayed not.”

  1. Complete the following “Masterdebaters are to Gaudere as Flaming gays are to_____”

I don’t know what the hell this means, and I don’t know that I care to.

  1. If you’re naked as you read this question, you’ve gotten it right. If you’re wearing clothes you’ve gotten it wrong.

I’m wearing boxer shorts.

  1. Which is better and why? Silly Putty or Play-Doh?

Silly Putty. Silly Putty bounces, smells cool, lifts ink off comic books, and lasts forever. It is also excellent if you’ve got something stuck between your teeth and you have no floss or toothpicks or matchbook covers available. Bite down, hard, on a hunk of Silly Putty, slowly open your mouth, and the offending bit wil be withdrawn. Trust me.

Play Doh leaves stains, smells bad, and eventually dries out. If you’ve got something in your teeth and you bite down on it, you’ll throw up.

  1. Bob is a sponge. Crabs is a lobster. Sandy is a squirrel. Pat is just this stupid pink blob in Hawaiian shorts. What’s he supposed to be?

Isn’t he a starfish or something? I only watched the show once, and I was a little drunk.

  1. The decoy secret ingredient of Crabby patties is_____

I’ve no idea.

  1. If there was a skeeter on your peter would you whack it off?

Sure.

  1. Place the following is descending order of machismo (that’s with the most macho first.)

Emilio Estevez
Ricardo Montalban
The guy who played Panch, or Ponch on CHIPS
Antonio Banderas
Jennifer Garner

Here’s my list:

Ricardo Montalban
Antonio Banderas
Ponch (for future reference, it’s with an “o”)
Estevez
Garner
15. Which one would you most want to have sex with?

Jennifer Garner. I know I should probably say something clever or inventive to justify selecting Montalban, or Ponch, or whatever, but forget it.

I’m sorry, but I’m just not going to pass up Jennifer Garner.

  1. According to Smeagol, the defining characteristic of hobbitses is that they are____.

Nasty.

  1. Did you see Jack kill Nina? Damn!

Hadn’t seen it yet it. But thanks anyway, asshole.

  1. If they had a “little ditty” who would sing it?

John Cougar.

  1. Go find me a link to that picture of dogs playing poker.

Are you kidding? Go to Allposter.com. It should take you about 3 seconds.

  1. It’s not that nursery mouth I came back for and it’s not the way you’re stretched out on the floor cuz I’ve broken all your windows and I’ve ran through all your doors and who I am I to ask you to fight my wars and you should know that’s true. ________________________.

I came for you.

Notice how Bruce Springsteen comes back here. There’s a Meg Foster-Courtney Cox-Bruce Springsteen six degrees of Kevin Bacon thing going on here.

  1. We were heading for Bear on I one oh about a mile out of Shakeytown. I said____________.

I know the song, can’t remember the lyric.

  1. Which is better and why, Burger King of Mickey D’s?

Burger King. You can get that crown. No contest.

  1. I can be Tiger, White, Gulf or Bay. Cocktail me or do me as an Ettouffe.

Sharks.

  1. My fucking truck is leaking oil from that long rectangular thing over the sparkplugs, but I don’t want to take it into the shop to get fixed right. How can I Maguyver a quick fix?

Get some Sea Foam.

  1. Doctor Doom got thrown out of graduate school so how is he a Doctor, and of what?

He holds a honorary degree from the University of Latveria, the country he rules.

And why don’t you tell him he got “thrown out.” I think he’d say the school didn’t represent enough of a challenge for his supreme intellect and he left on his own.

Next time, you might ask how Hunter S. Thompson is a doctor, and of what.

  1. If you want to make a blimp why don’t you just fill a balloon with a vaccum?

Because vacuum’s suck.

  1. Place these turd varieties in ascending order of grossness (least gross first

I’ll admit, I know little about this. But here’s my list.

Rabbit
Horse
Dog
Cow

  1. Who would tell you that you are “a pie-eyed prune-faced refugee from Yancy Street,” and what time would it then be?

Your ever-lovin’ blue-eyed Thing. Benjamin Grimm. It would then be clobbering time.

  1. If the battery’s dead can I roll start a Durango?

Why would you want to?

  1. Complete the following: “Yo baby, yo baby, yo baby,___”

Yo.

24

No clue.

Yes, but not as hot as that other girl in that one movie with the car in it - the one with the big yabbos.

No, the car didn’t have the big yabbos, the girl did, and she was really hot. Although, come to think of it, not as hot as that one girl, I can’t remember her name. Tom told me to see the movie, and she was really hot, but the rest of the movie was lame. It had a car in it too.

Don Pleasance. Dead, not what.

I love that joke!

Mark Twain.

Ask your teenage son to reprogram it. Promise in return to rent that movie with the big yabbos in it. And tape the next UFC.

At least, that’s what I do.

“No, I’m afraid not.”

Get it? Frayed knot? Get it?

That joke kills me. But not as much as big yabbos do.

Do you know that other joke? I can’t remember any of it besides the punch line, which is “OK, but the children have to be raised Catholic”. I love that joke.

Esprix.

That’s not a question. Of course, I’m not naked, so I got it wrong.

Silly Putty. it bounces, it shatters, it stretches, and it doesn’t stick to your clothes.

Unless you leave it in your pocket when your mom does the wash. Then she gets really pissed off at you.

I have been told.

My daughter says he is a starfish. I never argue with her. Although I can’t understand why Sandy doesn’t drown.

You have children, don’t you?

I would see who could scratch my itch.

Qien es mes macho?

Ricardo Montalban, because he is into “rich Corinthian leather”. As aren’t we all.
Emilio Estevez, for Repo Man
Antonio Banderas, because anyone is more macho than Ponch
Jennifer Garner - see above
Ponch - see above above

Ponch. Whaddya think I am, gay or something?

Tricksy.

It’s a frame.

Two American kids, growing up in the heartland. Life goes on, however.

Woof.

I will tell you as soon as you get your carpetbaggers off my back.

We ain’t a-gonna pay no tolls.

McDs. Because you must be lovin’ it.

I find if I cocktail my wife, she is more likely to do me as an ettoufe. But then, I am only a little shrimp.

Duct tape.

It’s an honorary degree, for services to Latveria.

Vacuums can’t fill anything, and the walls of the balloon would collapse so that the volume of the balloon was not less than the volume of the air it displaces.

If you are Jason Gridley, and you discover a lightweight material, you can build a zeppelin and use vacuum tanks to visit the Earth’s core, but not everyone who leaves with you will return. At least one will stay with La Ja.

Horse, then rabbit, then cow, then dog.

Then Ponch and Jennifer Garner.

Some Thing would tell me, and then IT’S CLOBBERIN’ TIME!

Is it a manual?

Yo, baby.

Regards,
Shodan

25

  1. Is there any joke that can’t start like that? I keep thinking about the three chinese tortures, but that doesn’t normally have three men…

  2. I got it wrong the first couple of times, but I go there eventually.

  3. Pop. (NB. I think an implosion as well as an explosion would go pop?)

Otherwise: what Shodan said.

26

Our shop vac has a switch that you can flip to blow. It works great for blowing up air toys. ( if the air compressor is otherwise unavailable. )
Although, it still wouldn’t make a blimp float.

27

1
2
3 Donald Pleasence He will live on as long as people do Dr. Evil impersonations.
4
5
6 Read and follow the instructions.
7
8
9 What if I’m just not wearing pants?
10 Silly Putty is better because Play-Doh is a lie. The purple stuff does not taste like grape and the red stuff does not taste like cherry.
11 A Star Fish
12 love
13 I’d spray DDT on it.
14 Ricardo, Antonio, Jennifer, Ponch, Emilio
15 tie between Jennifer and Antonio
16 tricksy (it is a little know fact that the Arthur Anderson hires only hobbits)
17 no
18 again no
19 still no
20
21 I have to go to the bathroom
22 Micky D’s is much closer to my office
23 You are a shrimp
24 Don’t ask me man
25 It’s an honoray degree given to him by Penn State when they got him to speak at their graduation ceremony in 1952.
26 Because getting you to fill it with helium is much easier.
27 Cow Horse Rabbit Dog (also the order I encounter them in from least to greatest.
28 A very mean person and then it would be clobbering time.
29 I sure as hell aint pushing it with your fat ass in it.
30 yo

28

  1. I dunno.

  2. I’m gay so I don’t notice.

  3. The only bald guys I can think of are Yul Brenner and Telly Savalas. Is it one of them?

  4. I dunno, but the punchline is the guys were all gay and the farmer didn’t think he had enough money for a complete redecorate plus a makeover for his daughter.

  5. Probably somebody on “Queer Eye.”

  6. Unplug the damn thing!

  7. “47” or “Nope, I’m a frayed knot”, I forget which.

  8. Absolutely ** FAAAAAAAAAAB-UUUUUUUU-LOUSSSSS!** interior design.

  9. What if I’m naked under my clothes? Do I get partial credit?

  10. Well, Silly Putty makes better impressions but Play-Doh tastes better and I’m kinda hungry right now, so Play-Doh.

  11. A flaming gay starfish.

  12. Either MSG or Soylent Green.

  13. If you’re gonna go naked outdoors don’t forget the insect repellent.

  14. Jennifer Garner
    The Ponch Guy
    Ricardo Montalban
    Antonio Banderas
    Emilio Estevez

  15. The Ponch guy. I saw him on “Surreal Life” and I still think he’s kinda hot.

  16. I don’t know what hobbitses are. Do you cook em up or keep em off of you with insect repellent?

  17. No! When?

  18. Most guys I know wouldn’t admit to having a “little ditty” much less sing about it.

  19. I would but somebody else already has so why bother.

  20. That was a purty poem.

  21. I frequently hunt for bear. I usually say “WOOF!”

  22. BK cause I have a friend who is the area manager for BK so I usually have coupons for free stuff from there.

  23. Shrimp.

  24. Duct tape that sucker shut.

  25. Guatemalan correspondence school and he is a doctor of Prophecy.

  26. A vacuum, even one of those eight pound Orrick ones would be kinda heavy and kinda hard to get inside a blimp don’t ya think?

  27. Rabbit (I never see rabbit doodies)
    Horse (usually I know where they are and avoid em)
    Cow (same reason as horse)
    Dog (they’re everywhere!)

  28. If I’m all “pie-eyed” I guess it’s about 2 AM.

  29. What’s a Durango? Some new kinda chip to dip in salsa?

  30. “I’m Done!”

29

  1. I just know it’s the one where Roddy Piper walks around in funny glasses and everyone looks like an alien, or something.

  2. I wouldn’t kick her out of bed for eating crackers.

  3. Fuck if I know.

  4. Unfunny.

  5. Jean-Paul Gastel

  6. Unplug the VCR.

  7. “Tie again”?

  8. Otto

  9. What if I’m wearing a watch and socks?

  10. Play-Doh, because it’s edible.

  11. Hawaiian.

  12. Crab.

  13. I’d do nothing fleeter.

Antonio Banderas
The guy who played Panch, or Ponch on CHIPS
Ricardo Montalban
Jennifer Garner
Emilio Estevez

  1. Ricky and I would be spit roasting Jennifer Garner.

  2. Sneaksters.

  3. Yeah, dude, damn.

  4. a little kitty?

  5. http://www.drunkandretired.com/dogs/images/dogs1.jpg

  6. Eh?

  7. Hey, mama.

  8. Burger King. Nothing is better than wearing a crappy paper crown.

  9. Shrimp.

  10. Put some gum on it; run hairdryer for awhile.

  11. Er…

  12. Because then you couldn’t clean the carpets.

Rabbit
Horse
Cow
Dog

  1. Clobberin’ time?

  2. No. You’re a wuss and you can’t push one.

  3. You drive me crazy.

30
  1. That guy with the mustache who was in that Magnum PI ripoff series, “Rip Tide” or something, also starred in a cool John Carpenter movie. His girlfriend in the movie falls into a mirror and comes back as the devil or something in a dream that is a time travel message. That actress had really weird looking eyes, and she was in another John Carpenter movie with Roddy Piper. What were the names of this actor and actress and what were the movie’s names?

The first question and the first error. Perry King was the guy with a mustache in “Rip Tide”. He was in 9 John Carpenter movies. The actress in the John Carpenter movie, They Live, with Roddy Piper is Meg Foster who is known for her very pale blue eyes. However, “They Live” is the only John Carpenter movie Meg has ever been in. However, Perry King and Meg Foster were in one movie together, “A Different Story”. It tells the story of a gay chauffer who marries a lesbian friend to avoid deportation. After a party Meg’s lesbian character finds out she is pregnant and they try to become a normal family.

  1. That girl was kind of hot wasn’t she?

Yes, very.

  1. The other guy in that movie, the bald guy was also in that Halloween Movie. What’s his name and is he dead or what?

Keith David and he must be alive with 2 films in post production and 2 currently filming.

  1. What’s that joke where the the three guys show up at the farmer’s house and ask to spend the night, and the farmer says ok, but you can’t sleep with my daughter?

The one guy goes back outside and his buddis say, "hey, while you were inside, we were eating hot buttered corn.

  1. According to Riverworld, who first told that joke?

Jesus.

  1. How do you make a VCR light stop blinking?

Black electrical tape.

  1. These three strings walk into a bar. The first string goes to order a drink and the bartender points to a sign that says “no strings served.” Later the second string says that you gotta show athority so he walks up to the bar and tries to act all gruff and threatening as he orders a drink. The bartender says “Listen Bub, it’s like I told your friend. No strings served.” So the third string says “watch this.” He ties him self up into knots and stuff and then he rubs himself really hard so he’s all frayed and rough looking, like a shipping rope or something. Then he goes up to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender says “Yes sir,” but then take a second look and says "Hey wait a minute. Are you a string? The string says ____?

I’m a frayed knot.

  1. Complete the following “Masterdebaters are to Gaudere as Flaming gays are to_____”

Coldfire.

  1. If you’re naked as you read this question, you’ve gotten it right. If you’re wearing clothes you’ve gotten it wrong.

Since I was at work I was wrong. :frowning:

  1. Which is better and why? Silly Putty or Play-Doh?

This one’s easy. SIlly Putty because it never dries out.

  1. Bob is a sponge. Crabs is a lobster. Sandy is a squirrel. Pat is just this stupid pink blob in Hawaiian shorts. What’s he supposed to be?

A Starfish.

  1. The decoy secret ingredient of Crabby patties is_____

Plankton.

  1. If there was a skeeter on your peter would you whack it off?

Absolutely. I don’t even need the skeeter.

  1. Place the following is descending order of machismo (that’s with the most macho first.)

Emilio Estevez
Ricardo Montalban
The guy who played Panch, or Ponch on CHIPS
Antonio Banderas
Jennifer Garner

Garner
Montalban
Banderas
Ponch
Estvez

  1. Which one would you most want to have sex with?

Garner

  1. According to Smeagol, the defining characteristic of hobbitses is that they are____.

Tricksy

  1. Did you see Jack kill Nina? Damn!

Damn, indeed.

  1. If they had a “little ditty” who would sing it?

John Cougar-Mellencamp.

  1. Go find me a link to that picture of dogs playing poker.

Dogs Playing Poker

  1. It’s not that nursery mouth I came back for and it’s not the way you’re stretched out on the floor cuz I’ve broken all your windows and I’ve ran through all your doors and who I am I to ask you to fight my wars and you
    should know that’s true. ________________________.

I came for you.

  1. We were heading for Bear on I one oh about a mile out of Shakeytown. I said____________.

Pigpen, this here’s Rubber Duck.

  1. Which is better and why, Burger King of Mickey D’s?

Burger King 'cause the fire’s inside.

  1. I can be Tiger, White, Gulf or Bay. Cocktail me or do me as an Ettouffe.

You are a shrimp.

  1. My fucking truck is leaking oil from that long rectangular thing over the sparkplugs, but I don’t want to take it into the shop to get fixed right. How can I Maguyver a quick fix?

Tighten the bolts that hold it down.

  1. Doctor Doom got thrown out of graduate school so how is he a Doctor, and of what?

Correspondence school. PhD in Evil.

  1. If you want to make a blimp why don’t you just fill a balloon with a vaccum?

Because the handle will poke a hole in the rubber.

  1. Place these turd varieties in ascending order of grossness (least gross first:)

Cow
Rabbit
Horse
Dog

Rabbit
dog
horse
cow

  1. Who would tell you that you are “a pie-eyed prune-faced refugee from Yancy Street,” and what time would it then be?

The Human Torch. It’s clobberin’ time.

  1. If the battery’s dead can I roll start a Durango?

No.

  1. Complete the following: “Yo baby, yo baby, yo baby,___”
    Yo.
31

And if you’re the guy who actually created the Bricker Challenge?

I’m just wonderin’, is all. :slight_smile:

  • Rick
32

Yeah, you can play, but you can either promise to use only one brain hemisphere, or you have to chug three beers before you answer.

33

Diogenes:

Not quite 20

Rubystreak:

21

Joe Pike:

Not quite 20

Shodan:

Not quite 20

MarkofT:

23

34

Since I’m challenge challenged, this will be easy to score:

From the description of the eyes, I’m guessing the girl was Meg Foster (and no, I didn’t peak at the others first). Talk about limpid pools!

.
Oh, yeah!

35
  1. The girlfriend/mirror movie was Prince of Darkness. Don’t know any of the other stuff.
  2. Yeah, kinda.
  3. Donald Pleasence (AKA Ernst Stavro Blofeld in You Only Live Twice)
  4. Dunno
  5. Dunno
  6. Turn the power off.
  7. No strings attached?
  8. Esprix
  9. I know I know this one, but I just can’t think of it.
  10. Play-doh, it smells better.
  11. Dunno.
  12. Dunno.
  13. Yes.
  14. Ricardo Montalban, Antonio Banderas, Ponch, Jennifer Garner, Emilio Estevez
  15. Jennifer Garner
  16. Nasty/fat/trixy
  17. Huh?
  18. Huh?
  19. Find it yourself.
  20. Dunno.
  21. Dunno.
  22. Burger King, either because of flame broiling or custom orders.
  23. Balm
  24. I don’t drive.
  25. Degree by mail?
  26. The balloon would collapse inwards.
  27. Rabbit, Horse, Cow, Dog
  28. Dunno.
  29. Dunno.
  30. Dunno.
36

How the frell do I get mentioned in these things? :confused:

Esprix