The Scylla Challenge

If you’re like me, you’re a little bit intimidated by the cerebral gymnastics required to win the Bricker challenge.

So, I’ve created the Scylla challenge for those of who’s harnessed brainpower might make toast.

The rules are simple. If you’ve won a Bricker challenge go away. If you’ve ever been able to answer a sizable percentage of a Bricker Challenge go away. If you think you’re pretty smart, bugger off.

The winner of the Scylla challenge will be the person that best answers the following questions correctly, in my judgement. It being me, chances are I might make a mistake or two, so you’ll just have to deal with it.

Manhattan has agreed to supply the winner with 25 Phaedy bucks (well, not yet, but I’m sure he will when I ask him.)

So here’s the questions:

  1. That guy with the mustache who was in that Magnum PI ripoff series, “Rip Tide” or something, also starred in a cool John Carpenter movie. His girlfriend in the movie falls into a mirror and comes back as the devil or something in a dream that is a time travel message. That actress had really weird looking eyes, and she was in another John Carpenter movie with Roddy Piper. What were the names of this actor and actress and what were the movie’s names?

  2. That girl was kind of hot wasn’t she?

  3. The other guy in that movie, the bald guy was also in that Halloween Movie. What’s his name and is he dead or what?

  4. What’s that joke where the the three guys show up at the farmer’s house and ask to spend the night, and the farmer says ok, but you can’t sleep with my daughter?

  5. According to Riverworld, who first told that joke?

  6. How do you make a VCR light stop blinking?

  7. These three strings walk into a bar. The first string goes to order a drink and the bartender points to a sign that says “no strings served.” Later the second string says that you gotta show athority so he walks up to the bar and tries to act all gruff and threatening as he orders a drink. The bartender says “Listen Bub, it’s like I told your friend. No strings served.” So the third string says “watch this.” He ties him self up into knots and stuff and then he rubs himself really hard so he’s all frayed and rough looking, like a shipping rope or something. Then he goes up to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender says “Yes sir,” but then take a second look and says "Hey wait a minute. Are you a string? The string says ____?

  8. Complete the following “Masterdebaters are to Gaudere as Flaming gays are to_____”

  9. If you’re naked as you read this question, you’ve gotten it right. If you’re wearing clothes you’ve gotten it wrong.

  10. Which is better and why? Silly Putty or Play-Doh?

  11. Bob is a sponge. Crabs is a lobster. Sandy is a squirrel. Pat is just this stupid pink blob in Hawaiian shorts. What’s he supposed to be?

  12. The decoy secret ingredient of Crabby patties is_____

  13. If there was a skeeter on your peter would you whack it off?

  14. Place the following is descending order of machismo (that’s with the most macho first.)

Emilio Estevez
Ricardo Montalban
The guy who played Panch, or Ponch on CHIPS
Antonio Banderas
Jennifer Garner
15. Which one would you most want to have sex with?

  1. According to Smeagol, the defining characteristic of hobbitses is that they are____.

  2. Did you see Jack kill Nina? Damn!

  3. If they had a “little ditty” who would sing it?

  4. Go find me a link to that picture of dogs playing poker.

  5. It’s not that nursery mouth I came back for and it’s not the way you’re stretched out on the floor cuz I’ve broken all your windows and I’ve ran through all your doors and who I am I to ask you to fight my wars and you should know that’s true. ________________________.

  6. We were heading for Bear on I one oh about a mile out of Shakeytown. I said____________.

  7. Which is better and why, Burger King of Mickey D’s?

  8. I can be Tiger, White, Gulf or Bay. Cocktail me or do me as an Ettouffe.

  9. My fucking truck is leaking oil from that long rectangular thing over the sparkplugs, but I don’t want to take it into the shop to get fixed right. How can I Maguyver a quick fix?

  10. Doctor Doom got thrown out of graduate school so how is he a Doctor, and of what?

  11. If you want to make a blimp why don’t you just fill a balloon with a vaccum?

  12. Place these turd varieties in ascending order of grossness (least gross first:)

Cow
Rabbit
Horse
Dog

  1. Who would tell you that you are “a pie-eyed prune-faced refugee from Yancy Street,” and what time would it then be?

  2. If the battery’s dead can I roll start a Durango?

  3. Complete the following: “Yo baby, yo baby, yo baby,___”

  1. Donald Pleasance

  2. Does it end up with shoving a watermelon up his rear?

  3. Turn it off.

  4. I’m a frayed knot.

  5. Coldfire? Lynn Bodoni?

  6. Damn

  7. Starfish.

  8. Maybe.

  9. Jennifer Garner

  10. They’re stupid, fat and tricksy

  11. Yo.

Ilsa Lund:

You got some right. Some not right, and you forgot to answer some others.

  1. I dunno.
  2. If she’s a Hollywood actress I’ll give two to one oddswithout even seeing her that she’s hot.
  3. Dunno.
  4. Can’t remember, and too lazy to Google.
  5. If I don’t know number 4, I can’t possibly know number 5, now can I?
  6. Set the clock. I’m a guy, I can do that. Or unplug it, which.
  7. “No, I’m a frayed knot.” (yuk yuk yuk)
  8. Coldfire
  9. I’ll take the point on this one.
  10. Play-Doh. It tastes better.
  11. Dunno.
  12. Lobster? Skate? Cow liver?
  13. You betcha.
  14. Jennifer Garner, Ricardo Mantalban, Ponch, Antonio Banderas, and Emilio Estevez.
  15. Jennifer Garner. Without hesitation.
  16. Dunno.
  17. No.
  18. Jack and Diane.
  19. http://www.barmirrors.com/images/twos/7dogs2.jpg
  20. Dunno.
  21. Dunno.
  22. Burger King. If you’re gonna eat fattening food, at the very least it should taste good.
  23. You are a shrimp.
  24. Duct tape, WD-40, and a Phillips Head screwdriver. You can fix anything with those.
  25. Dunno.
  26. Air is by definition not lighter than air. Helium or hydrogen is required.
  27. Rabbit, dog, cow, horse.
  28. Dunno.
  29. If you have a manual transmission.
  30. Yo.

That should get this puppy started.

  1. Unplug the VCR

  2. Pick one

  3. Pour 4 egg whites down the oil filler, it probaly won´t fix your engine, but MacGiver´s would have even gained more mileage.

  4. It hasn´t been a practical idea for the last 334 years

It’s a trap Mon Calamari. Ha ha! Charraud you are! If you answer that one you’re not Shtupid you’re a shmarty. So go and joind the Nazi party!

(Answering that question correctly means you’re too smart for the Scylla challenge, so you’re disqualified)

  1. Robin Evans. I think. . .
  2. IIRC, she was hot in a “Dallas” sort of way, but totally not in a “Falcon’s Crest” sort of way.
  3. Don’t know.
  4. A Marine, a soldier, and a sailor driving break down in the middle of nowhere and hike to a farm. . .
  5. Don’t know.
  6. Take your remote, click VCR. Now click “program”. I lost you already? Jeez. Go find any 8-year old fer Chrissakes.
  7. Third string says you spelt “athority” wrong.
  8. Oooh, I’d venture to say Esprix.
  9. Kickass.
  10. Play-Doh doesn’t give you the shits when you eat it, so there’s my vote.
  11. Refer to your aforementioned question “10.” and my answer.
  12. What’s a “Crabby Pattie”? Is that an STD or something?
  13. If there was a skeeter on my peter, I’d have big problems, if you know what I mean. :wink:
  14. Jennifer Garner, because IIRC, she’s the daugher of James Garner, who’s one bad MOFO; Montalban, because he spits his last breath at thee; Banderas, just because of Four Rooms; Eric Estrada, only because the last one is way less macho; Estevez, because if he were more macho, he wouldn’t have done Mighty Ducks II
  15. Sex? What’s that?
  16. They’re my height.
  17. I saw Jack fall down a hill, but I’ve never seen him take out 99 red balloons.
  18. If I had a “little ditty” I sure as hell wouldn’t want to sing about it. Maybe take some Viagra, but I wouldn’t sing about it.
  19. Ain’t none.
  20. Several shots of several games.
  21. You got a great big convoy, truckin’ through the night. Yeah you got a great big convoy, ain’t she a beautiful sight?
  22. Neither. Both use Grade “B” beef, which is more or less lips and assholes.
  23. I would say cocktail, because IIRC, they all include gin.
  24. MacGuyver a fix? I wouldn’t. Just take it in, have 'em replace the head gasket, and you’ll be fine. If you MacGuyver a fix, it’ll cost your sorry ass an engine (when it seizes due to lost oil)–not that this has ever happened to me.
  25. He’s a Doctor, because he’s got a degree . . . in SCIENCE.
  26. You can’t. Vaccuums suck. And you need either helium or hydrogen, both of which blow.
  27. Dog, Horse, Rabbit, Cow.
  28. Tha’d be one mad hatter, and he’d tell ya it’s about tea time.
  29. No. You’d have to connect an APU to the side port, crank it up until the turbines caught and began compression, then fire some hydrazine into the case to jumpstart the process. Oh, you said Durango. In that case, no.
  30. Yo!

Tripler
How’d I do?

Seems I accidentally skipped one, so my answers from #19 on actually apply to the next one up.

This proves I’m none to smart, and thus, can compete in the Scylla challenge.

Tripler
Carry on.

Foiled! By golly!, I have been thwarted.

Ah, now here’s a challenge I can sink my teeth into.
So here’s the answers:

  1. That guy with the mustache who was in that Magnum PI ripoff series, “Rip Tide” or something, also starred in a cool John Carpenter movie. His girlfriend in the movie falls into a mirror and comes back as the devil or something in a dream that is a time travel message. That actress had really weird looking eyes, and she was in another John Carpenter movie with Roddy Piper. What were the names of this actor and actress and what were the movie’s names?

I have no idea who you’re talking about.

  1. That girl was kind of hot wasn’t she?

Probably.

  1. The other guy in that movie, the bald guy was also in that Halloween Movie. What’s his name and is he dead or what?

Donald Pleasance? If that’s who you mean, then I’m pretty sure he’s dead. He was also one of the actors who played Blofeld, the best one IMHO.

  1. What’s that joke where the the three guys show up at the farmer’s house and ask to spend the night, and the farmer says ok, but you can’t sleep with my daughter?

A guy walks into a bar with his dog. The bartender says, “Hey, you can’t bring a dog in here.” Guy says, “This is a special dog, he can talk. I’ll show you.” He turns to the dog and says, “Who was the greatest baseball player ever?” The dog says “Ruff, ruff!” The bartender says, “What are you tryin’ to pull!?!” and throws them both out on the street. The dog looks up at the guy and says, “Was it DiMaggio?”

  1. According to Riverworld, who first told that joke?

Adam?

  1. How do you make a VCR light stop blinking?

Set the clock.

  1. These three strings walk into a bar. The first string goes to order a drink and the bartender points to a sign that says “no strings served.” Later the second string says that you gotta show athority so he walks up to the bar and tries to act all gruff and threatening as he orders a drink. The bartender says “Listen Bub, it’s like I told your friend. No strings served.” So the third string says “watch this.” He ties him self up into knots and stuff and then he rubs himself really hard so he’s all frayed and rough looking, like a shipping rope or something. Then he goes up to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender says “Yes sir,” but then take a second look and says "Hey wait a minute. Are you a string? The string says ____?

“I’m a frayed knot”

  1. Complete the following “Masterdebaters are to Gaudere as Flaming gays are to_____”

Dunno.

  1. If you’re naked as you read this question, you’ve gotten it right. If you’re wearing clothes you’ve gotten it wrong.

Wrong.

  1. Which is better and why? Silly Putty or Play-Doh?

Silly Putty, because you can copy the comics with it.

  1. Bob is a sponge. Crabs is a lobster. Sandy is a squirrel. Pat is just this stupid pink blob in Hawaiian shorts. What’s he supposed to be?

A starfish.

  1. The decoy secret ingredient of Crabby patties is_____

Uh. Something just for the halibut?

  1. If there was a skeeter on your peter would you whack it off?

Of course. But my cousin’s got a dozen, you can hear those mothers buzzin’.

  1. Place the following is descending order of machismo (that’s with the most macho first.)

Emilio Estevez
The guy who played Panch, or Ponch on CHIPS
Antonio Banderas
Ricardo Montalban
Jennifer Garner
15. Which one would you most want to have sex with?

Jennifer

  1. According to Smeagol, the defining characteristic of hobbitses is that they are____.

Nasty, they tricks us.

  1. Did you see Jack kill Nina? Damn!

No.

  1. If they had a “little ditty” who would sing it?
    Don’t know.

  2. Go find me a link to that picture of dogs playing poker.
    Here ya go.

  3. It’s not that nursery mouth I came back for and it’s not the way you’re stretched out on the floor cuz I’ve broken all your windows and I’ve ran through all your doors and who I am I to ask you to fight my wars and you should know that’s true. ________________________.

  4. We were heading for Bear on I one oh about a mile out of Shakeytown. I said____________.

“Breaker, breaker good buddy”

  1. Which is better and why, Burger King of Mickey D’s?

Burger King, cause the burgers are charcoal broilled. And you can have it your way.

  1. I can be Tiger, White, Gulf or Bay. Cocktail me or do me as an Ettouffe.

Shrimp.

  1. My fucking truck is leaking oil from that long rectangular thing over the sparkplugs, but I don’t want to take it into the shop to get fixed right. How can I Maguyver a quick fix?

?

  1. Doctor Doom got thrown out of graduate school so how is he a Doctor, and of what?
    He’s a doctor of destruction in the comic books, Spiderman, right?

  2. If you want to make a blimp why don’t you just fill a balloon with a vaccum?

First, vacuums suck, they don’t blow. At least mine. Second, the fillant needs to be lighter than air to float. Third, if you put it in the closet you’re going to get a heck of a surprise in the middle of the night, what with the convection currents and all.

  1. Place these turd varieties in ascending order of grossness (least gross first:)

Rabbit (small and generally hard)
Cow (large and squat, but easy to avoid if you stay out of cow pastures)
Horse (large, not as squat, but they tend to be in places that you actually go, like trails)
Dog (hidden in the grass, plus the result of meat eaters is much more putrid)

  1. Who would tell you that you are “a pie-eyed prune-faced refugee from Yancy Street,” and what time would it then be?

?

  1. If the battery’s dead can I roll start a Durango?

No.

  1. Complete the following: “Yo baby, yo baby, yo baby,___”
    YO!

Shibb:

I think you got 16 right!
Tripler:

That whole messing up the order thing through me off and gave me a headache, and I can’t figure out how many you got right, but this contest is definitely for you.
Airman:

If you take the point for #9 I hope you’re sitting on a doily so you don’t leave a skid mark.

  1. Got me. Joe and Jane Doe in um, Lost Souls.
  2. Sure, if you swing that way.
  3. Abe Vigoda. Nope.
  4. It’s an old joke.
  5. Couldn’t hazard a guess.
  6. Dr. Zoidberg could make it stop flashing. With a gun.
  7. 'Fraid not.
  8. Flaubert
  9. If you’re naked as you read this question, you’ve gotten it right. I WIN!
  10. Play Doh is edible. Silly Putty picks up newsprint. I say tie.
  11. Obviously a squiddy Doc.
  12. Real crab?
  13. Huh huh huh. You said skeeter.
  14. Place the following is descending order of machismo (that’s with the most macho first.)
    Jennifer Garner
    Emilio Estevez
    Ponch
    Montalban
    Banderas
  15. Montalban!
  16. Tricksy and False.
  17. Jack killed who now?
  18. Heh, you said ditty.
  19. Go find me a link to that picture of dogs playing poker. http://movies.yahoo.com/shop?d=hv&id=1808396797&cf=info&intl=us
  20. Blame on the rain, yeah yeah.
  21. Walter Brennan
  22. McDonald’s dollar menu.
  23. I AM SHRIMP!
  24. Duct tape, a chocolate bar and a half a stick of chewing gum. Or is that dynamite?
  25. He’s a doctor of love.
  26. The question should be: Why would you want to make a blimp?
  27. Place these turd varieties in ascending order of grossness (least gross first
    Bunny
    Dog Doo
    Cow Patty
    Horse explosion
  28. A bad person, and time for an asswhoopin.
  29. Who drives a Durango?
  30. Complete the following: “Yo baby, yo baby, yo baby, YO

Filmgeek:

I think you got 6 right.

Actually, on further inspection, it seems I’ve only accidentally flipped my answers for #19 and #20. But, being that I’ve already advised you of my fucked up answers only to find that all was not lost, I’m still not smart enough to be disqualified.

Besides, if I misspell “too” in ‘I’m none to smart’, then I just can’t be.

Tripler
And that’s my “final answer”.

Woot! Are you going to tell us later what the correct answers are? I may have gotten the “macho” question in reverse order. I always have trouble with simple things like ascending and descending. Should have just pointed out that Jennifer Garner was the most macho in my list and Estevez was the least macho. I’m sure she could kick his ass into next week.

I’m trying to answer these without looking at anyone else’s answers. (Okay, except for the first poster. So I know it’s “a frayed knot.”)

So here’s the questions:

  1. The guy is Perry King. Don’t know the movie and I’m too lazy to look it up.

  2. Never saw the movie.

  3. I’m guessing it’s Donald Pleasance, because the first poster said so. (Besides, Donald Pleasance was in the Halloween movie and he’s bald. I think he’s still alive. Did you see him play “Weird Beard” in that great old episode of “Twilight Zone”?)

  4. Don’t know.

  5. Don’t know.

  6. Use the remote and go to “Menu” and follow the directions from there.

  7. I’m a frayed knot! I just kill myself!

  8. What?

  9. I’m wearing pajama bottoms with an old inkjet cartridge stain on them. Does that count?

  10. Silly Putty. No wait. Play Doh.

  11. A starfish?

  12. What?

  13. What?

  14. Ricardo Montalban, Antonio Banderas, The guy who played Panch, or Ponch on CHIPS, Jennifer Garner, Emilio Estevez

  15. Well, if he were about age 30-45 again, Ricardo Montalban. He was cute.

  16. What?

  17. That was a long time coming.

  18. Probably.

  19. Sorry, can’t help you there.

  20. I don’t even know where to begin.

  21. What?

  22. Burger King has better shakes? (I guess?)

  23. You’ve lost me.

  24. Just take it to the damned shop.

  25. Once again, totally lost.

  26. Yes, why don’t you?

  27. Dog, Horse, Cow, Rabbit.

  28. Well, my mom would. Right after breakfast.

  29. What?

  30. belch

Just for everyone’s edification (big word. I had to look it up. Me not smart), “Ponch” on CHiPS was played by Erik Estrada. Later, he claimed fame in mass e-mails which I won’t discuss for purposes of decorum (another big word I looked up).

Tripler
Just for your personal knowledge.

This scoring thing is hard work, so I’m not going to do it anymore until it looks like somebody has more than 20 right, and I won’t be really careful about it until we hit 25.

Shibb:

When somebody wins, they’ll have gotten all the right answers so I won’t have to tell. To be fair, I’ll also say what I would accept for an answer.

  1. **Prince of Darkness ** (1987)
    Thom Bray
    Meg Foster is the girl with the googly eyes, but I don’t think she was in Prince of Darkness. She was in They Live with Roddy Piper.

  2. Yes

  3. Donald Pleasance died in 1995

  4. Sam Clemens

  5. Unplug it

  6. “I’m a frayed knot!”

  7. Miss Noxeema Jackson

  8. You’re half right

  9. Silly Putty and stretchy comics. Ooh, and that smell.

  10. Starfish

  11. Ritz crackers

  12. If I had one I would

  13. Antonio Banderas
    Jennifer Garner
    Emilio Estevez
    Ricardo Montalban
    The guy who played Panch, or Ponch on CHIPS

  14. Antonio Banderas in a CHiPs uniform

  15. Hobbitses is nasty

  16. No, but I saw him switch cards

  17. The world

  18. Pick your poison.

  19. I came for you.

  20. “Pigpen this here’s Rubber Duck and I’m about to put the hammer down.”

  21. Burger King, mayo

  22. Shrimp

  23. Dust tape

  24. He likes alliteration. He’s the Doctor of evil.

  25. No, no, you empty it with a vacuum. What a sucky question.

  26. Rabbit (Mmm, Domino’s pizza)
    Horse
    Cow
    Dog

  27. Yes

  28. yo

  1. That guy with the mustache who was in that Magnum PI ripoff series, “Rip Tide” or something, also starred in a cool John Carpenter movie. His girlfriend in the movie falls into a mirror and comes back as the devil or something in a dream that is a time travel message. That actress had really weird looking eyes, and she was in another John Carpenter movie with Roddy Piper. What were the names of this actor and actress and what were the movie’s names?

The chick is Meg Foster, the Roddy Piper movie is They Live. That’s all I know.

  1. That girl was kind of hot wasn’t she?

Yes, kind of.

  1. The other guy in that movie, the bald guy was also in that Halloween Movie. What’s his name and is he dead or what?

Donald Pleasence. I think he’s dead.

  1. What’s that joke where the the three guys show up at the farmer’s house and ask to spend the night, and the farmer says ok, but you can’t sleep with my daughter?

The one guy goes back outside and his buddis say, "hey, while you were inside, we were eating hot buttered corn.

  1. According to Riverworld, who first told that joke?

Jesus.

  1. How do you make a VCR light stop blinking?

Yank the damn plug out.

  1. These three strings walk into a bar. The first string goes to order a drink and the bartender points to a sign that says “no strings served.” Later the second string says that you gotta show athority so he walks up to the bar and tries to act all gruff and threatening as he orders a drink. The bartender says “Listen Bub, it’s like I told your friend. No strings served.” So the third string says “watch this.” He ties him self up into knots and stuff and then he rubs himself really hard so he’s all frayed and rough looking, like a shipping rope or something. Then he goes up to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender says “Yes sir,” but then take a second look and says "Hey wait a minute. Are you a string? The string says ____?

I’m a frayed knot.

  1. Complete the following “Masterdebaters are to Gaudere as Flaming gays are to_____”

Coldfire.

  1. If you’re naked as you read this question, you’ve gotten it right. If you’re wearing clothes you’ve gotten it wrong.

Woo hoo, I got it right!

  1. Which is better and why? Silly Putty or Play-Doh?

This one’s easy. Play doh cuz it tastes better.

  1. Bob is a sponge. Crabs is a lobster. Sandy is a squirrel. Pat is just this stupid pink blob in Hawaiian shorts. What’s he supposed to be?

A Starfish.

  1. The decoy secret ingredient of Crabby patties is_____

Plankton.

  1. If there was a skeeter on your peter would you whack it off?

Absolutely. I don’t even need the skeeter.

  1. Place the following is descending order of machismo (that’s with the most macho first.)

Emilio Estevez
Ricardo Montalban
The guy who played Panch, or Ponch on CHIPS
Antonio Banderas
Jennifer Garner

Garner
Montalban
Ponch
Banderas
Estvez

  1. Which one would you most want to have sex with?

Antonio

  1. According to Smeagol, the defining characteristic of hobbitses is that they are____.

Tricksy

  1. Did you see Jack kill Nina? Damn!

Damn, indeed.

  1. If they had a “little ditty” who would sing it?

A little kitty.

  1. Go find me a link to that picture of dogs playing poker.

Dogs Playing Poker

  1. It’s not that nursery mouth I came back for and it’s not the way you’re stretched out on the floor cuz I’ve broken all your windows and I’ve ran through all your doors and who I am I to ask you to fight my wars and you
    should know that’s true. ________________________.

You had me at hello.

  1. We were heading for Bear on I one oh about a mile out of Shakeytown. I said____________.

Pass me a beer.

  1. Which is better and why, Burger King of Mickey D’s?

They both suck equally.

  1. I can be Tiger, White, Gulf or Bay. Cocktail me or do me as an Ettouffe.

You are a shrimp.

  1. My fucking truck is leaking oil from that long rectangular thing over the sparkplugs, but I don’t want to take it into the shop to get fixed right. How can I Maguyver a quick fix?

Pour some locktite into the oil.

  1. Doctor Doom got thrown out of graduate school so how is he a Doctor, and of what?

Correspondence school. PhD in Evil.

  1. If you want to make a blimp why don’t you just fill a balloon with a vaccum?

I can’t fit the hose into that little opening.

  1. Place these turd varieties in ascending order of grossness (least gross first:)

Cow
Rabbit
Horse
Dog

Rabbit
horse
cow
dog

  1. Who would tell you that you are “a pie-eyed prune-faced refugee from Yancy Street,” and what time would it then be?

*The Human Torch. It’s clobberin’ time.

  1. If the battery’s dead can I roll start a Durango?

Yes.

  1. Complete the following: “Yo baby, yo baby, yo baby,___”
    [/QUOTE]

Yo.

(I did not peek before I posted my answers.)