The SDMB Dwarf Fortress Ongoing Game #2

The Game Room
21

Entry Four: Summer

Our hospital is nearly complete! This auspicious occasion has been marred by the imminent death by drowning of a potash maker who has somehow managed to fall through the hole dug out for the water supply. A sad and lonely fate; a memorial engraving will be made in rememberance of his contribution.

Gads! In the heat of the earlier goblin ambush, I neglected to realise that somehow some of the elven merchants found their way past the invaders and have been waiting to trade ever since - I just received word that they are preparing to leave! This is not ideal - it would be a shame to miss on potentially useful animals that the elves have for trade. I will see if we can organise some kind of last-ditch trading attempt before they depart.

Success! Though the quality of the trade goods obtained is questionable. Mostly I have bought a large quantity of alcohol - our own alcohol production is sufficient, but our dwarves might appreciate some variety. More importantly, barrels are something we are undersupplied with. We also bought a panda. I expect the wisdom of this decision to reveal itself with time.

The construction of a suitably dwarfy workshop area continues, including manufacture of some facilities we have thus far lacked. We will be needing a soap maker’s workshop now that the hospital is functioning. Seven more migrants have arrived, also - this reminds me that I should probably be carving out some bedrooms for our increasing population.

A spinner has been taken by a fey mood! I’m not entirely sure what a spinner would do in such a state… they seem to have claimed a mason’s workshop for their project, so I can only wait and see how they apply their skills.

I have begun carving out some warren-like bedroom spaces in the lower reaches of the fortress. They may not be the most space-efficient but I think it will make our dwarves feel at home - furthermore, I will conceal a lever in this organic structure that will control the drawbridge that leads to the caves, cunningly thwarting any attempts by nefarious forces to pull it.

As summer draws to a close, a human caravan has arrived. I am able to buy a lot of wood (which we are gradually running out of), rare metals which could come in handy in the event that we have to fulfill an unreasonable request of some kind, and various exotic meats and drinks. I believe our trade goods could be considerably improved by adding a level of gem-encrustation - this will be a project for the coming season. As summer draws to a close, I receive word that the final traction bench has been placed, rendering the hospital project officially complete. Further, our fey spinner has unveiled a rather stunning cobaltite cabinet - suitable for a noble’s room somewhere down the track, no doubt.

22

Entry Five: Autumn

An interesting start to the season - a meeting with a human, asking me what kinds of trade goods they will bring in the future. I’ve never heard of such a thing… perhaps I am just old fashioned, but where I’m from this is the kind of thing only discussed dwarf-to-dwarf. I’ve made a mental note to ask some of the former leaders if the humans are always like this around these parts.

I have discovered the purpose of the panda we bought from the elves earlier, as I knew I would. I don’t want to give too much away, but I hear panda tallow soap is excellent for stopping infections.

Alas, I have received word of the arrival of the mountain titan, Ngogngo Saxongomstu Nuspu Baspu. I have heard tales of this creature recited in legend - one doesn’t quickly forget such a name - a huge humanoid composed entirely of crystal glass. It is said to have a pair of branching antennae, and is known for its deliberate movements and its spider-like ability to fire webs at its enemies. As I write I can hear our military preparing themselves for the coming onslaught - I can only hope that the

23

Entry Six: Autumnal Conclusion

I apologise for my brief absence - needless to say, I was called away suddenly. The battle was grand, but between then and now I have been unable to escape the victory celebrations. Our military conducted themselves with great honour - despite the might of the foe before them, it was dispatched without anyone being so much as injured, much less killed. Nonetheless, it has spurred me to raise in priority my task of fortifying our entrance with ballistae.

Despite our triumph, I find the situation wanting. Our situation has become comfortable - we need adventure! The time has come, I believe, to delve deeper into the underground.

Good grief - I just now hear that one of our metal crafters has produced a legendary pewter crown! This is good news, although faintly alarming insofar as I didn’t realise they were working on it in the first place. It’s fortunate that all the materials they needed were available.

Some time has passed since my I last wrote here. Exploration into the depths continues, and spirits were raised by the discovery of a vein of platinum, but mostly nothing of note has taken place. However, that all changed with the arrival of the outpost liason, and with her, news that our fortress is to be elevated! It is hardly surprising, in retrospect, as I learned not long ago that one of our recent migrants is none other than the second nephew twice removed of the great Autolycus! Needless to say, this young cheesemaker has been recommended for the position of Baron. I’ve also, besides trading for the usual wood and other minor items, made a sizeable offering to the leader of our civilisation in the form of our finest unicorn horn wares - hopefully this will carry some weight in similar considerations in the future.

I have become somewhat concerned by reports of a spectral entity lurking in the deep food storage. The dwarves describing this figure report that it fits the description of our dearly departed potash maker. It has been suggested that this rising could result from a hypothetical scenario in which a leader forgets to suitably memorialise the dead; though I’m sure this could not be the case here, it couldn’t hurt to… further memorialise the affected parties, to see if some kind of… agreement can be reached.

24

Chapter Seven: Winter
Winter is upon us. The first act of the season is the laying of a memorial slab, which seems to have coincided quite by chance with a reduction in reports of spectres in the food storage.

A minor project that I didn’t mention earlier is the construction of some kennels in the lower reaches of the fortress. I noticed that we have a large stray dog population, and given our forays into the caverns beneath, thought we could benefit from some guard dogs. Training is currently underway, as is the forging of suitable restraints.

As it is near the end of my tenure here at Soundbridge, I have also deemed it necessary to begin the construction of my tomb. I am by no means a greedy dwarf, and have therefore made arrangements to make use of an already-claimed part of the mining tunnels, letting me rest in the most natural of dwarven surrounds. I have also taken charge of the decoration of the area personally, so as to minimise disruption to the rest of the workings of the fortress. I’m sure others will agree that my arrangements are both humble and tasteful.

So far, the exploratory mining operations have been a bitter disappointment. Despite digging for what seems like a vertical mile, we have broken through into no new cave systems. As the year’s end approaches, I am beginning to think that this task may be best left to one of my successors.

Ah. It appears that word has spread of our fortress, because we have an uninvited, and most unwelcome, guest. A Bronze Colossus has arrived. A quick analysis of the area shows no chance of stopping its advance - it appears our only option is a more traditional military resistance. There is nothing else to do; we must take the fight to it. I was beginning to think that I might end my reign here without a large quantity of bloodshed. If we still stand, I will soon be passing my leadership onto another - I can only hope I am able to record one last chapter in the story of Soundbridge before my departure.

25

Conclusion
Well, there is both good and bad news. The bad news first: It is looking more and more like my earlier efforts in the construction of a grand hospital were a waste of time. The good news is that our military appears to be virtually indestructible; the mighty colossus has fallen, and after a tiringly lengthy battle, they once again have sustained not a single scratch between them.

In any case, my year is drawing to a close. There is much still to do. The bulk of our workspace has now been moved inside to a more appropriate and less muddy location. Our metalwork operations are a notable exception to this - I held off relocating them in the hope of discovering magma, but as this was unsuccessful, they remain in a somewhat makeshift state near the surface. I did, however, carve some orderly storage rooms for the raw materials used by the industry. We’ve also gained glass and soap manufacturing, siege equipment, kennels, an excellent though apparently unnecessary hospital, and a second barracks near the entrance to the cave system - this is as yet unused, though we have a number of migrants skilled in combat that might be drafted into a second squad to offer our primary unit some relief. I have also not made any attempt to get any use from the growing crowd of captured invaders and other beasts that sit in cages outside our fortress - I leave their handling in the capable hands of my successor. Finally, our newly crowned baron (among other nobles) is not currently living in luxury befitting his position. I humbly request that the one that comes after me make up for my slothfulness on this matter.

I am told that today, the world has passed into the Age of Legends. It has been a long year, and a long day, and I must now retire in more ways than one. In the morning, with my time my own once again, I shall take the opportunity to produce some art depicting our magnificent home, and conduct the ceremony to pass the mantle of leadership onto the next in the line of succession.

26

End of year speech by the Founder.

My fellow dwarves! It was only four years ago that we seven survivors of Joinglazed came to this place. When we came here, to this soggy hill where the unicorns and harpies roam by the ocean, our thoughts were on little more than hiding and trying to forget the horrors we’d seen. But now as I look on what you all have done, I see you have made a fortress to be proud of. We may have far to go yet to match the wealth and might of Joinglazed, but as I look out on your hard-working faces I know you can do it.

So I raise my mug and toast my successors. To Canius, who founded our military and beat back the Harpy menace! To Silophant, who expanded the fortress and dug out proper accommodations in the deep, dry stone! To Dinaroozie, who built our hospital, and led the military to victory against not one but two terrible foes from before the dawn of time!

Finally, I have a very special gift here in honor of our new Baron, Autolycus. Autolycus the Younger, would you please come up here?

AndrewL bends down and picks up a battered and worn object. Holding it high, he presents it to Autolycus.

Autolycus, this was your uncle-twice-removed’s bucket. Well, one of them, anyway - he had quite a collection. I’m sure he would have wanted you to have it. Take it, and may it serve you well someday!

27

Epilogue

The new underground workshop complex is located directly above the lowest main floor.

The lowest main floor, featuring the grand entrance to the caverns, as well as hospital, second barracks, kennels, and siege workshops.

One down from the lowest main floor - ore storage, and the spike pit located beneath the grand entrance bridge.

Another floor down - the lowest inhabited layer - with the bedroom warrens. Also contains the secret emergency lever that raises the bridge to the underground caverns - future leaders take note!

Several floors up - the reclaimed mining cave used for my tomb.

The fortress itself, provided for my most honoured successor.

~ Dinaroozie the Lesser

28

Excerpts from Autolycus the Second’s Inauguration Speech

Hello, ye good dwarves of Joinglazed. I have come from the home country to take up the mantle of rulership. I never knew my uncle. I was a lowly cheese maker. Many years I toiled curds and whey. Ruling a kingdom is like cheesemaking in many respects. One’s hand must be tender, yet firm. Without a firm hand, the cheese will be spoiled. And not in a good way, like casu marzi.
My uncle told me many good things about his citizens, and I hope to serve him proud. By the way, how did poor uncle die? The official report never reached me. What’s that? Speak up. I still can’t understand you. In any case, may the name of Autolycus forever be a blessing among his people.
To you, the people, I announce my first act as baron. Booze production shall be upped 1000% May the streets flow red with Dwarven wine. Huzzah!

29

cheers from the back of the hall

30

First Journal Entry of Autolycus the Second

God this place is a shithole. Literally. Half of it is…Arnok, I throw up a little in the back of my mouth when I say it…above…gg…belchground, and to make matters worse, there’s a huge pile of wreaking shit and corpses smack dab in the middle of it. Oh, well I’m sure the strange animals next to it enjoy it. Abominations, the lot of them. One had the gall to die of old age on my first day of rulership. It’s a bad omen, let me tell you.

This site is just bad news. The first few levels, while being mercifully free of open sky, are in clay. Only a paltry few of our hard-working dwarves live in the cold comfort of stone and rock.

On the positive side of things, our military seems quite adequate for the time being. And, we have a lot of mittens. One can never have enough mittens.

Oh, one last thing. I almost forgot. There’s one thing that still juts a craw in my beard. My quarters. Oh god my quarters. I realize some previous rulers of dwarfdom have gone, well, a wee bit overboard in making their quarters comfortable, but this is ridiculous! I have probably the worst quarters in the entire orc-forsaken fortress! Well, that’s not true. At least I have clay, even if my room is 2x2 and has nothing in it besides a bed.

GGrrraaaAAAGGHH…ASDF;LKJERADFSDALKJDKJADLSF blood stains on the diary. The fucking MAYOR has a better room than me. That cocky puss! This won’t stand…aasdf… aah, gotta breath.

It’s ok. I’ll start to work on new quarters right away. Gotta keep it together… keep calm.

31

Announcement to the People on 2nd Granite.

Attention all my fellow dwarves, I have three main goals for my tenure as Baron. One, the military must be expanded! I assure you we are safe however. I have heard your worries about the neighboring goblin civilization, but while they expert terror, they will invariably import our vengeance! They shall be dealt with in time. No, this 2nd squad will serve as a fighting force to explore the verdant depths beneath us.

Two, construction shall begin immediately on the construction of a hospital. While we hardy dwarves rarely get sick or injured, in the off case that this happens, we deserve the best!

Third, and my proudest announcement, we shall begin work on a grand road! This will be a functional and symbolic gesture of the spread of our dwarven culture to all foreign lands! Huzzah!

32

Diary Entry on 5th of Granite

Why in Arnok’s left nut did nobody tell me we already had a hospital? I haven’t been so embarrassed since the cheese I made for my master spoiled on his birthday… Already all the rabble here think I am a moron. Me! What would these country bumpkins know anyway? But yes, the hospital. It lacks soap. What kinda moron builds a hospital without soap. I’ll get right on that, someday.

But yeah, this place is seriously messed up. The children and babies didn’t even have their own bedrooms! It’s not healthy for kids to stay with their parents 24/7, and I won’t stand for such coddling. Heck, the babies have a better bedroom than me…Urrggh…OK I am fine. Had my blood pressure spike there for a bit.

Also, what’s up with the two dogs locked in a room by the front gate balcony? That’s just messed up, but I’ll leave it for now.

Hmmm, what else? Oh yeah, I got drunk yesterday and ordered a construction mandate, but for the life of me I can’t remember what it was. I’m sure it wasn’t too important, and I have to throw my weight around a little right?

Otherwise, some pansy elf showed up and bitched around, err, about the trees, and a donkey got stung by a bumblebee. Things just get better and better.

33

An announcement to the Barony, circa 10th Granite

Greetings all and sundry! It has only been a few short days since meeting all of you, but I already feel things are going great. The hospital has been refurbished, what I meant all along, and candidates are currently being reviewed for the Cavern Squad. A contractor is also thinking up a catchier name.

But I have more, happier news. The current level of miners shall be doubled! Mining is the noblest profession for a dwarf. With our new mining proficiency, we’ll have enough picks flying to dig through the magma layer and straight to Hell and back.

random dwarf female screams and faints

Yes! That is about as excited as I get too when I think of our glorious future. Huzzah! For Soundbridges!

34

Diary on the 11th

What was up with that broad? I was speaking metaphorically. Everyone knows Hell is only a fairy tale.

Also, I have made Erush Erasbel the Captain of the Guard because I liked the alliteration in his name.

Work is coming along as for my quarters. Patience.

Entry for the 21st

YE GODS! We only have 6 meat left. Plant supplies are plentiful, but we desperately need meat to stay happy. I know I can’t be happy on plant bullshit. I have designated a few animals for slaughter, and let’s have some neighboring animals killed.

Olin Degelakgos has begun a mysterious construction! I hope it’s meat.

I have told the military to kill a turkey. Sorry gobbles

Granite 23

The goblins made their first strike during my reign and attempted a snatching. It shames my name to have to admit he got away. But, no children were taken. Thank Arnok for small blessings.

Oh, and how could I forget. We got migrants today. Yeah, we got migrants like goblins get flees. 22 new mouths to feed. And they came from the mother city of all places. What’s going on over there that makes this insane place seem like a good option?

2nd Slate

Work is coming along on my quarters. I expect to be able to move in soon. I mean I’m still miserable but at least there’s hope. After I finish settling in, I think I’ll take a dump in the mayor’s bed. Not like I know what a dump is.

Also, finished up that 2nd squad with some decent new recruits and some schlubs. Set all squads to train, but lowered mandatory attendance to 8. I heard they might go insane otherwise. Nobody goes insane here without my approval!

35

Diary Excerpt from Urist McCitizen on the 5th of Slate

Oh god, it was horrible! You know, the new leader seems a bit pompous and cold, but I was one of the few to actually like the guy. I mean, say what you want for his personality, but he was gettin’ things done! The 2nd squad, the meat and booze crisis solved, the new digging, and all in all it’s nice to have a real leader to turn too besides that flaky mayor. But today! I just can’t get over it. I was walking by his quarters, and he was freaking out. It’s like he flipped his lid! Punching the air madly and frothing at the mouth, he was throwing all sorts of stuff. I’ve never witnessed such rage.

He kept on saying his new quarters were ‘Bloody bullshit’ and ‘Goblin dick dongtastic,’ which I guess is the hip new lingo back in the home province, a fact he constantly brings up in private conversation. And yeah sure, they weren’t 100% finished yet, but they were nice. I should know, I was part of the team that built 'em! Spacious, nice furniture, neo-Zen rock gardens, the works! He was only missing a few desks and the wall smoothing and engraving, and that was enough for him to flip the fuck out… if he has such little restraint, I’ve lost all respect for him as our leader.

36

Diary Entry from Autolycus the Second on the 10th of Slate

Life sucks. I can’t go on like this. My room is a bloody mess… It’s awful! After waiting for what felt like a stone age to move in, I do and it’s not even finished. And what is here isn’t really even of such great quality. The nerve of these country bumpkin craftmen… they tried to cheer me up with the Zen rock garden in the hallway. They wouldn’t know Zen if it bit them in their fat asses. It’s just a pile of dingy rocks!

I threw the biggest tantrum in my life a few days ago, but it didn’t help one bit. I’m miserable beyond belief and don’t think it will ever get any better. Oh, why did I come here? Everyone else is fine, but I have to suffer so much…

14th Slate. The official report came back from the home colony as to the death of my uncle. Demons. I can’t believe it. The report states that while simple-folk believe in them as superstition, full details on their existence have been covered up so as not to cause panic. Hell, errr… heaven, normally I’d be pretty panicked, but I can’t even muster up the emotion to care about much of anything these days. It’s just one thing after another…Demons…

15th Demons…demons…demons… If they got Joinglazed, they are probably here too! There’s only one way we can be safe.

37

16th of Slate, Diary of Autolycus der sekund

You KNOW what! I feel a lot better today! :slight_smile: I have officially decided, as power of barony and mushrooms, that pants are optional! ONLY for me of course though. Hahahaha… demons can’t get ya if you don’t have pants.

Oh, and the plan is coming along right on schedule too, just to be safe. Heh.

21st We have puppies! It’s such a happy funny bouncy time. I had a puppy back in the capital. I drowned it in cheese. Well, it’s better that than demons!

23rd Slaate. I can’t get teh right ORDers for the 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, seven-11 squad to train. And the sky is purple. When there is a sky, which is only half the time of Batman. The Dark Knight!!

27th We kerstrooken green jade! In spades, like a big green dragon AAAAAH DRAAAGGOOOONNNNNN beepety beep beep.

2nd Felsite I realize I feel strange lately. But I’m fine. Really :slight_smile:

6th Felsite. I have struck prase. Oh you better bet I have. Hehehe.

12th Felsite. DEMONS!! DEMONS ARE ATTACKING!!! Hahaaha just kidding. It was only the Elves, like Keebler. Weschmee can allsy wallsy be friends, me too dont I think so too right. I offered to trade them some wooden chair-stairs but they didn’t really like it and the cabbage was fresh and we did trade clade dade some fiiiiiiine my-t-fine objects like bread and baskets and wait. What? asdflkjdfoweiraslfkj wheeee that was fun typing. Oh, right, trade maid. We got some booze, I think. I don’t really remember-gender toooooo much heehee :slight_smile:

19th Felsite. I get weak, and I have nightmares every day. I am the most happy and sad. Brief moments of clar ity break through to my mind / like a virgin pick. zzzzzzzzzzz

Oh, and a kid was snatched. But at least he’s one of the lucky ones. We shall all frolick in the flame stone and mist! So it was written, so it shall be done!

38

27th. Zefon Lebthiz has given birth to a girl. Woohoo!!

3rd of Hematite It reminds me of a story. A story of a loooovely piece of cheese. That cheese wheese had fifteen fingers? Why fifteen. Fuck you that’s why!! Har har har bicycle cheese meese wheese wheese wheese sing a little song of johnson pie and a ding ding dong dong dung dung criminy. Being baron fun aint it except on Tuesdays, which is Slate if yer a sailor!

9th of Hematite, a DIARY ENTRY It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over.

39

Announcement to the Barony of Soundbridges

Dear ladies and gentle-dwarves, your baron, the inesteemable and recently quite up-beat baron Autolycus the Second has fallen ill. He has taken to his quarters for rest. Please let us show our greatest dwarven courtesy and not bother him during his brief sickness. Direct all your concerns in the interim to the room of Urist McUrister.

Diary Entry from the Journal of Urist McUrister, Secret Regent

I was one of the few to befriend the new baron. While he lacked people skills and was more than a bit haughty, he was deep down a good man. He never asked to be baron, and he did his level best. That’s why at first I was so glad to see him finally adjusting and being happy. But it was clear after a short while that something was off. While there have been eccentric no-pants barons in the past, he had lost almost all of his focus and would go off on crazy rhyming tangents. Well, suffice to say he was a few dwarves short of an expedition team.

After consulting with the mayor, it was decided that since I was his closest friend and associate, I should rule secretly in his stead. When he was discovered dead this morning, his head swimming in a bowl of alphabet soup in the dining room, I played it off as an illness and had him secretly laid to rest in his tomb. Nobody shall know the truth, and in the meantime we have notified the home colony to request their consel. For now, I rule in his stead.

I rooted around his room, which is really nice by the way, and I found some plans drawn in crayon for his burial room. It requests that it be flooded, that that is the ‘only way,’ with a drawing of what looks like a red bear or something. I can’t claim to understand it, but it’s been dwarven tradition for millennium to honor the burial requests of our leaders. I begin work immediately.

40

17th of Hematite, Journal of Urist McUrister, SR

A tunnel has been started down to the magma-layer and connected to the baron’s tomb.

15th Malachite The tunnel towards the ocean has almost been finished. Then it shall be time to finish up the levers and initiate the final phase.

8th Galena The Magma layer has been breached in the tomb tunnel. When that floods, we shall have water access to a very deep level, along with satisfying the former baron’s wishes.

14th Galena I consider myself fortunate that all domestic affairs have been running smoothly. While the citizens consider Autolycus’s extended illness strange, most are relieved they don’t have to deal with him. Dwarves are not known for their curiosity, so keeping the secret has been none too hard, and there have not been any pressing matters calling for a statement. The only thing that was remotely worrisome is when today Kogan Udmen, the surgeon, was possessed. But it seems alright.

The 18th of Galena. Shit, the human emissary has arrived. What am I going to tell him?

19th I explained the situation, and he bought it! He is content discussing things with our broker only. Good. We have lots of trinkets to get off our hands.

Before I must eventually pass on my power, today I also decided to make… a petting zoo! Specifically, puppies and kittens. It shall be a cute fun play destination for generations to come, and it frees the halls from the hordes of cats that were beginning to get annoying.

Sometime in the latter week of Limestone. Oh Arnok! This is so exciting! My plans, expounded upon Auto’s simple and eccentric blueprint, have been going swimmingly. I am less than a few days away from starting. The tunnel has been built, the safe room, the floodgates, the levers, everything! The honored one has been chosen to carve directly into the ocean.

2nd Sandstone. Success!! The water is flowing, and the honored dwarf even managed to survive. Two other random dwarves decided to squat in his emergency bunker, but that’s ok. They can be punished later. I’m too happy right now. Oh, look at that beautiful water flow. It’s slower than I expected, but soon it shall flow all the way to the tomb room and Auto’s soul can be at peace!