The SDMB Lawn Chair Boys' Club

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Fellas, there’s nothing I like better than a good catfight. However, when they ain’t no catfights to attend, I’d be pretty much happy to sit back and watch anyone make an ass out of themselves.

And, when I’m relaxing in my lawn chair, nothing hits the spot like an ice cold beer. Fat Tire for me, if it’s around.

So, with that in mind…

::unfolds lawn chair, kicks back with a cold beer::

Come. Join the LCBC! You’re guaranteed front row seats at any event that spotlights fights, bitchslaps, nudity, or general dumbasses making a spectacle of themselves.

No warranty is implied.

2

I’ve been scared to try Fat Tire beer. I saw it at Wally World and thought it was Flat Tire beer. HEB (Texas Grocery store) has other beer made by that company.

Is it any good? (Dumb question, because you wouldn’t tell us you were drinking it, unless you are trying to get us to drink it because it was bad. INCONCEIVABLE!)

Anyway. I’ll bring my newly redone lawn chair on two conditions. ONE: You let me have one Fat Tire. TWO: You let me have my beer if I don’t like your Fat Tire.

Deal?

3

I like anything by Bolevard Brewing, myself. They’re local.

Honey Wheat is DAMNED good, you owe it to yourself to try it.

::sets out lawnchair, twists open Honey Wheat::

Oh yeah.

–Tim

4

Absolutely. It has a wonderful flavor. And, it’s beefy in the strength department. It’s a WILDLY popular beer in Colorado.

5

This chick runs in, farts and runs back out.

< how 'bout them apples boys? >

6

Score 1 for making an ass out of yourself.

What’s next?

7

Sorry to ruin the first part of your party Cynical, guess I wont be attempt to be funny again…

8

This is my kinda party.
::unfolds chair, lounges, scratches armpit::
I brought Bass.

Hey you kids! Get off my lawn! (Not you, techie, yer funny an’ stuff.)

9

belches and turns to Lux Fiat with his bottle of MGD raised, “Right On, Brotha.”

10

<lex rings the doorbell on the backyard gate.>
<intercom buzzes>

Mr C. - Hello?

Lex - WHUUUAAAAAATTTTTHHHHHHAAAAAAAAA!!!

Mr. C. - WHUUUAAAAAATTTTTHHHHHHAAAAAAAAA!!!

<Mr. C. looks over to Homer>

Mr. C - Hey man, check out who’s here, man.

Homer - <speaking into intercom> Hello?

Lex - WHUUUAAAAAATTTTTHHHHHHAAAAAAAAA!!!

Homer - WHUUUAAAAAATTTTTHHHHHHAAAAAAAAA!!!

Mr. C - WHUUUAAAAAATTTTTHHHHHHAAAAAAAAA!!!

<Lex strolls into the backyard with a large cooler in tow. It contains a large frosty pint glass and a several bottles of Bass.>

Hey, man, pass me one o’ them Fat Tires. I’m a gonna show you a lil sumthin’.

<Lex pours the pint glass half full of Bass. Then fills it the rest of the way up with Fat Tire.>

This, fellas, is how you make a “Fat Ass.”

gulp!gulp!gulp!

AHHHHHH!

<Lex sits in lawn chair, kicks back, and start to shoot paintballs at Mr. C.'s neighbor’s cat.>

50 bucks says I nail the lil fucker in the balls. Now that’s blue-balls for ya!

<Lex lets loose a lip-flapping Barney BUUUUUURRRRRRRRP!>

11

I do believe Lexicon’s my new hero.

::clinks glasses with Brood::
Testify, my man.

12

Lawn Chairs? How tacky! I’ll be in my classy lounge, if you need me.

13

Damn Dutch! Get off my lawn!

14

*pulls up lazyboy, throws Pint bottle of Guiness to Coldy

feh, these kids never learn in their lawn chairs… they’ll be having tea and cucumber sandwiches next.

15

Damned Irish! Get-

Ah, who’m I kidding? I’ll trade you a Bass for a Guinness, that we may lift black-and-tans to the health of those assembled.

16

No dice, Lux, I wont drink anything called a black and tan (irish history n stuff) but you can have a guinness anyway.

17

At least this time, he spelled “Guinness” right :stuck_out_tongue:

18

hehehehe
<dials Domino’s>
<whispering> Hello? I’d like to order a dozen large pizzas with everything. Address? Just look for the yard full of lawn chairs… Ask for Homer. Yeah, I tip big. <click>
hehehehe

19

Woo Hoo! FCM’s paying for Pizza!

20

Okay girls. I have some water balloons and a couple dozen raw eggs. Who wants to join me in a drive-by?