As you wish dearest.
Please psy, clean that boy up. He smells like a combination of stale beer, bong water, dog poop and mud. Phew!
Ooohh look, a slip n’ slide; somebody hold my drink.
::::::::Wwwwwhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee::::::::
<surveys discarded pizza boxes, bottles and cans, destroyed lawn, upended lawn chairs, paint-stained dogs, and underwear hanging from the maple tree>
Glad I don’t live in this neighborhood…
<climbs into minivan and drives away slowly>
Beer, food, weed, tunes… it was all beautiful. Now we got women in thong bikinis and an open mud pit next door.
It’s all just too good to be true.
sees Democritus thrashing around in the pit, then emerging all muddy
Damn, it’s a trap! Oh well, pizza and beer are still my friends…
digs unsuccessfully through the pizza boxes
oh, no… oh no no no no no no no…
weeps openly
we had it all, man… for one shining, beautiful moment it was all ours… now it’s all in ruins and tatters…
finds another couple of beers in his cooler
Oh, well… what was I saying?
…and the chicks start getting naked, the food gets grubbed, there’s mud everywhere…and what the hell happened to my rum!?
Alright, it’s time for a run to the store, whos’ got the keys? Or a car? Or money, actually?