Ladies and gentlemen of the Dope. I have a confession to make. While, by and large, I am a fairly affable and [sub]kill kill kill them all[/sub] easy going gent. I have recently been diagnosed with multiple personality disorder and, sadly, my [sub]knives knives lovely lovely sharp knives[/sub] other persona isn’t a nice guy. He’s a temperamental fellow, given to mercilessly butchering posters whose usernames, profiles, or posting habits violate a certain rule. The only way to stop him is to work out the rule he is following. But be warned, if you guess incorrectly then you too will be slaughtered. Also, posters in this thread whose usernames, profiles, or posting habits violate the rule risk attracting his unwanted attention regardless of whether or not they have guessed at the rule. He has already killed
Giraffe
But I have his word that he would never kill Cecil Adams.
Can you thwart the SDMB serial killer before he rampages through the entire board?
Justin Credible’s incorrect guess infuriates the SDMB serial killer sending him into a knife wielding frenzy. By the time he’s finished poor Justin has been turned into fettucini. But Justin Credible shouldn’t take it too hard. Even if he hadn’t made an incorrect guess he still would have fallen foul of the rule and been killed anyway.
Captain Klutz, by contrast, would have lived to tell this sordid tale were it not for his incorrect guess. The killer carves another notch into his bedpost, while the Captain’s family gets a visit from the cops.
bbs2k meets a similar end. He doesn’t break the rule, but he does guess incorrectly.
Twickster wrote:
Yeah. They’re bastards. Dead!
Justin Credible wrote:
Oi! Quiet you. You’re supposed to be dead.
Actually, this would be a good time to point out that being dead is no barrier to being able to post in this thread. You can even reveal the solution from beyond the grave, if you figure it out. The only thing is that you can’t make any more guesses.
Thus, it came to pass that the following posters on the SDMB were consigned to the hereafter:
Giraffe - Broke the rule Justin Credible - Broke the rule Captain Klutz - Guessed incorrectly bbs2k - Guessed incorrectly twickster - Broke the rule
As mentioned, Cecil Adams remains unmolested. I also have it on good authority that elucidator has nothing to worry about.
The killer lies in wait, lovingly polishing his trusty butcher knives. He dearly hopes the next poster he sees will fall afoul of his mysterious rule. He sees a dim shape on the horizon, hurriedly dons his taffeta ball gown, SS cap, and giant comedy sunglasses and gets ready to pounce on…Hockey Monkey?? No fuckin’ way. Not Hockey Monkey, that’ll never do. He doesn’t break the rule at all…bugger.
Ruefully, the killer lets Hockey Monkey pass by unmolested.
Okay. I’ve momentarily snatched back control from my evil other half long enough to answer a couple of questions:
You certainly can. Fire away.
Yes, both my posts follow the rule.
In other news, the entire front page of my daily newspaper is taken up with the shocking story of the brutal murder of one R. Threshold. Police say that he not only broke the rule, but that his efforts to uncover the identity of the serial killer currently stalking the SDMB led him to incorrectly guess at the killer’s motives, infuriating him further.
A byline indicates that Mr Threshold was accompanied by his sensei Sage Rat. Apparently, the killer spotted Sage Rat but showed no interest in harming him.
A valiant effort dbuzman, but sadly mistaken. Your incorrect guess has sealed your fate. Incidentally, you would have survived if you hadn’t made that guess. Perhaps it would behoove posters to phrase their suspicions in such a way that they are not obviously recogniseable as guesses…
The SDMB Casualty List
Giraffe - * Broke the rule* Justin Credible - Broke the rule and guessed incorrectly. Captain Klutz - Guessed incorrectly bbs2k - Guessed incorrectly twickster - Broke the rule Revenant Threshold - Broke the rule and guessed incorrectly.
**dbuzman ** - *Guessed incorrectly. *
And those who have escaped the killer’s wrath include:
Ingeniously, you phrased your speculations in such a way that the killer wasn’t able to recognise them as an obvious guess. If you hadn’t broken the rule the killer uses to choose his victims you would indeed have lived to tell the tale. But break it you did, and the killer is now fashioning your carcass into a rather fetching three piece suit for his imaginary pet flying alligator.
Hockey Monkey and Sage Rat were unharmed, so that doesn’t seem to apply. I can find no correlation in join date, posts per day, absence/inclusion of birthday in the public profile, or location.
Without a decent guess, or the inclination to review the thousands of posts previously submitted to the Dope by the people named, I’m going to say it has to do with whether you use an emoticon when you post.
One of these , and you’re as good as dead.
ETA: Fuck, I see that the OP used one of these . Please make my demise quick and painless.
