So, uh, no Martian needed? That’s cool…
Can I be Scotti’s much younger, and more attractive sister? a.k.a: jailbait? Need someone like that?
I mean, the Martian is my first choice, and if neither a Martian nor jailbait are needed, then please cast me as something! I really need the money and there are some dreamy guys on the show that I wouldn’t mind meeting.
Or I could be the awkward teenage girl who’s obsessed with a man much too old for her(if only Android were in the show…hehehe)and is unknowingly found attractive by all the guys her age.
Wait…can I be Wump’s sister? Cos the moon is cool.
I feel like I’m high or somethin, but I’m not…am I makin any sense???/
Dude, Wump probably isn’t much older than I am. Can I be his girlfriend? Or he’s my love interest or I’m his? Can I at least go to the moon? Does anybody care?
Change of scene, back to Scotti’s kitchen. Scotti has just mopped the kitchen floor AGAIN, and takes an loganberry pie out of the oven.
Kat and Rachelle are sitting at the table, discussing the quirky (read weird) people in this town. They have decided to broach the subject of tiggeril’s love life, and to try to convince Scotti that xizor is just the man for her daughter. While they are at it, they are going to suggest that their friend should get her head out of the sand and face up to the fact that she is in love with dpr.
Just as the discussion gets started, a loud crash from the kitchen window startles them. It is Jester again, only this time he came through backwards, and sat on the pie.
“Sheesh, Jester! What am I going to DO with you? Do I have to get bars put on my kitchen window in order to get you to use the door?”
Rachelle, Kat and Scotti “pants” jester, leaving him only his white boxer shorts with little red hearts. Popping his jeans into the wash, they collapse on the (clean) floor, laughing hysterically and pointing at Jester’s shorts. Of course, after a moment Jester joins them and uses this opportunity to invite them to his party. Sounds like fun, they say, and ask if there is anything they can bring.
“No, just bring yourselves.” Jester pauses, deep in thought. “Well, actually I could use some tootsie rolls, peanuts, chips and dip and bowls to put them in. Oh, and could you please see if tiggeril can get a good deal on the drinks?”
The ladies give Jester the bum’s rush out the kitchen door, ignoring his protests and forgetting to give him back his pants.
Monster enters the scene, and immedietly the girls flock around him.
::Ahem:: APPLAUSE, PLEASE::
Wild applause from the audience ensues
Thank you. Now, where was I? Ahh…girls, that’s right.
Man, everyone always ingnores the sd teenagers. Maybe we need a teenage sit-com(ala “Saved By the Bell”) Did I use the term “ala” correctly? Anyway…you get my point!!
Hey, don’t worry about it…I’m 17 and I’m the character that all the girls chase after (Not to mention the freaky local nerd).
How YOU doin? 
With Monster holding court in the living room, Scotti is taking yet another pie out of the oven. This time it is cherry, and Scotti looks suspiciously at the kitchen window. What she sees there causes her to recoil-coming up the walk is her much younger sister Feelyat, who is (how old do you want to be, Feelyat? I’ll guess 14) 14 going on 25. Dressed in a teeny tiny skirt and a crop top, she makes her sister’s motherly heart shudder. Especially since Monster is in the living room, and will probably take one look at Feelyat and say “How YOU doin’, beautiful, and where have you been all my life?” This will dash any hopes that Scotti has of matchmaking between Monster and tiggeril.
<swoon>
Wump: Hey, who are you?
Feelyat: I’m Feelyat, people call me Feely.
Wump: Wanna be my girlfriend? im going to the moon and some company would be nice 
and yes, I care
::Awwwwwwwww::
16! geez
14 isn’t just jailbait, it’s a child.
Forget the fainting. I notice neither my incredible beauty nor my adoring male fans(monster being one of them)
Can I borrow your credit card, sis? There are these new leather pants that I HAVE to get!
Oh, great, now she’s got Wump after her, too.
Why couldn’t I have a sister with two long braids down her back and a pair of anklets and Mary Jane’s? Instead I get Lolita.
My mother is gonna kill me if I can’t figure out some way to avoid disaster.
OH NO! HERE COMES JESTER THROUGH THE WINDOW AGAIN!
I give up (picks up the cherry pie and shoves it in Jester’s face.)
Hi, Wump. <blushes>
You really want me to be your girlfriend? It would be an honor. 
Oops, sorry Feelyat. You are so right, 16 it is. I just THINK of you as 14, 'cuz you are my baby sister and all.
(Scribbles on script, alters the 4 to a 6)
my first… i mean, anothe… no wait, yeah… but, hang on…
::clears train of thought::
Wump: Great!!!
Wump: (to audience) u know what im sayin’!
Audience: 
Screaming “I can’t take this anymore”, Scotti runs out the door, almost bashing into Rob the Hat, who is about to knock. "Just go on in, everyone is in the living room, and I am escaping, looking for dpr because I need a hug from a good friend. (Ignoring the fluttery feeling in her heart at the thought.)
Sis, wait!! I want you to see my new leather pants!!
Oh, she’s gone.
I’ll be the computer hacker with no life outside of his close circle of computer friends (and you like me from pity, and I get you free pr0n :D)
Tragically, Scotti misses dpr through the always comical tradition of her hopping on an elevator seconds before he gets off at the same floor.
He pauses outside her door, muttering “I CAN tell her how I feel… I CAN tell her how I feel… Great - now I sound like the little engine who had a crush.”
He goes in (friends never need in sitcoms) and is crushed to learn scotti isn’t there. But Feelyat remembers meeting him once before and talks incessantly for awhile. Dpr is polite so she doesn’t even notice his preoccupation. The others leave and dpr is about to as well losing his nerve and deciding not to wait for scotti after all when feely, while trying to get her new necklace off to show how good it would look with leather pants, gets the jewelry stuck in her hair. She shrieks in pain and dpr is awoken from his mental fortress of solitude. He rushes to help, standing in front of her very closely trying to get it untangled.
Suddenly Jester comes through the window YET AGAIN, startling feely who jumps back. Unfortunately dpr has hands either side of her head so he falls forward onto her, she tumbles back on the coach with him atop of her.
At just this moment Scotti walks in the door to find dpr draped over her kid sister. His cires of Wait… no… you don’t understand… go unheard as she screams at him, ranting and raving and eventually chasing him from the room.
The episode ends with dpr sitting in the hallway shaking his head seemingly on the verge of tears and with Scotti brushing past her sister telling her she doesn’t want to hear a word. She goes into the bedroom and starts crying….
Jester meanwhile turns to feely and says “ I guess this means no more pie today huh?”