Speaker: WHERE’S THE MOUNTAIN DEW?!?
You know, I have a bastard sword +5 against Troll-cops (+7 against normal social interaction).
cast Detect Evil
::casts a spell to turn you all into my unwilling servants of the night who shall go out and get me some food from Taco Bell:: Extra sour cream this time dammit!!! geez…cant find good charmed minions these days…
Take twice your HP, half of that if you save.
::does some quick mathmatical thinking::
hey…HEY!!!
You ask the stranger who runs away.
You find a note…
The note says, “Never point a finger at a guy with a knife.”
Good advice, but a little late. Rysdad reaches into his pouch, pull out his healing amulet, chants the medicinal prayer (Owa Tajer Khayyam), and is made whole again.
He looks around and, seeing no-one, plants a mist mine which, when stepped on by anyone with a purity score greater than his own, reduces them to a horny troll-ogre.
What do you mean ‘reduces’, for some of us, that’d be an improvment. 
There’s an elf in front of you wearing a brown tunic and has grey eyes.
But it says blue…
Lemmie see that…
I buffet you all with my mighty wings!
Roar! Hiss! hack cough choke
little help here?
Hey, I found this ring labled “Major Alignment Change”. I wonder what it does.
:: slips on ring ::
I am PURE EVIL. Hahahahahhahahahah.
So what else is on the buffet menu? Just how hot are those buffalo wings?
Surrounded by ogres? But I cast Mordenkainen’s Faithful Watchdog!
Everyone roll a Save vs. Gastric Distress or be laid low for 2d4 turns by the wings at the buffet.
Having rolled a 19, I kick the chin (or whatever) of the nearest Shoggotth, snapping its neck (or whatever) and killing it.
I cast Nestor’s Fart Of Annihilation, then slip into my invisibility cloak leaving the dog to take the blame.
Where’s the DM? I need to pass a note saying I’m making a Pick Pockets roll on Lux Fiat’s backpack… whoops. Heh, I’d better make a Hide in Shadows check…
…saving throw against Jameson’s…
darn, didn’t make my Save. I’ll try again.
…safing trow against Jameson’s…
dran, didd;t makr Aave. ill try agaim…
…sagging yrow sgast Jameson’s…
snore
I jettison the leg and swim for shore!
(All these magi and no one took the second-level spell Kill Nasty Water Monsters. tsk!)
**walks in ** looks around
…Hmmmmm…
…ahhh…
…yep…
walks out
I will breathe fire on all of you now.
I INVOKE JUPITER! GOD OF THUNDER & LIGHTNING!
I INVOKE SHIVA! GOD OF DEATH & DESTRUCTION!
I INVOKE SIMON NEBBISH! CERTIFIED PUBLIC ACCOUNTANT!