The Sky Is Falling! The Sky Is Falling!

The BBQ Pit
1

I am sooooooo fucking pissed!

Although it’s debatable who I’m more pissed at. The pus-brained example of inbreeding who flew his airplane too close to the White House? The professionally paranoid Secrect Service who acted like a kicked-over anthill? The clueless, vacuum-skulled violence-lusting media for the compulsive repetition of the “incident”?

Well, let’s take them one at a time, shall we?

The guy in the airplane is a fuckwad. He’s a idiot that likely has goat-farts betwixt his ears rather than brains. It would not surprise me if this guy loses his license, and he probably deserves to. Pilots have been under the gun since last September (literally - the air force does have permission to shoot to kill if they feel the need), this is no secrect. How fucking stupid do you have to be to blow the airspace over the White House? It’s not like the location is classified. Everybody knows where it is. In fact, the airspace has been off-limits for decades. Because of this offspring of opussum-faced degenerate inbreeders ALL of us “little guy” pilots will suffer, including those of us who actually follow the goddamned rules.

And let’s briefly touch upon the idiocy of banning all flights below 18,000 over the White House, but allowing them above that. What this means, essentially, is that BIG airplanes, which we KNOW can reduce substantial parts of a city to a heap of rubble, are allowed to cross over at 18,000 feet or higher, but LITTLE airplanes, which we KNOW do little or minimal damage (A small plane DID hit the White House a couple years ago - the plane was demolished and the White House just needed some touch-up paint over the stratches) are strictly forbidden. Why not ban flights all the fucking way up to infinity and take pot-shots at the space shuttle when it flies over? No, I don’t think we should have any airplanes of any size buzzing Pennsylvania Avenue, but there is a certain stupidity in the current rules (as usual)

And Mr. Fuckwad did not respond to air traffic control. Unless he is deaf (and therefore unable to use a radio) he should be bitch-slapped into next year. What a fucking idiot. Every time I call flight service I am reminded to monitor the radio and asked to make reports on long flights. Most airports I’ve traveled to over the last nine months have reminders posted on or near the doors leading to the airplanes about behaving yourself, monitoring the radios, and staying out of restricted airspace. This guy had to know better.

The Secret Service - why the fuck the name “secret”? What the hell is “secrect” about these guys? We all know who they are - the guys in the suits with the bulge under one arm and the dark shades trotting alongside presidential limosines or clumping like dingleberries to the President and assorted assholes. Why don’t we just call them “bodyguards”? Because that’s what they are.

Anyhow - evacuating at every mere whiff of a possible distant rumor of a threat is not exactly contibuting to calm and stability. We weren’t talking about a fucking airliner. Not even a goddamed twin engine. Hell, the average Ryder rental truck carries more of a punch than a Cessna 182 - do they evacuate the fucking White House everytime a delivery truck rumbles by, fearing a load of fertilizer bombs? Would make just as much sense.

And the goddamned slime-brained bottom feeding scum-sucking incestuously self-absorbed talking shitheads! Airplane! White House! Evacuation! Airplane! White House! Evacuation! Is this REALLY worth a continual repetition? There are a LOT of airplanes that fly over Washington DC every fucking day. This one, apparently, was not where it was supposed to be, but was never closer than 4 miles horizontally and 2 vertically. One could only wish for frozen “blue ice” to fall on these people. The airplane was at 10,000+ feet in straight and level flight - we’re not talking an airliner clipping lightpoles in the Pentagon parking lot here. Now THAT would be news.

Fuck, they even knew who was in this plane - the pilot HAD filed a flight plan. Most likely, he got lost on a cross country flight. Which brings me back to Mr. I’m-More-Stupid-Than-Gopher-Flatulence. Don’t fucking get lost over Washington DC. Helloooooooo! It’s a city full of self-important chickenshits, this is not news.

I’m actually surprised they didn’t shoot him down.

2

FWIW:

An airplane at 18,000 feet, big or small, is going to have a hard time hitting it… From 3+ miles up, the White House is a small target…

The Secret Service gets paid to be paranoid, and they’re good at it. Bitch not at them, but at the people who wrote the job description.

The small plane that went for the White House hit the ground first, then slid into the White House, hence the light damage. Had it slammed into it full on, the damage would’ve been quite a bit more substantial.

But other than that, Yeah! Knock it off! and stuff.

Good rant.

3

FWIW, even fom 1,000 in the air, the White House can be hard to spot. The airliner that hit the Pentagon was actually trying for the White House, but the hijacker at the controls apparently couldn;t find it, so he went for the Pentagon.

Also, the Secret Srevice does a lot more then just serve as the Presidents bodyguard, they also do a good bit of crime fighting on the phony money side of things, as Eastwood showed in In The Line Of Fire.

4

Very nice work. It’s got a good beat and you can dance to it. I especially liked the “kicked-over anthill” image. Sweet.

5

Gopher Flatulence. hehe.

Great rant. Remind me never to piss you off.

b.

6

Fox News has focused on the human dimension of the story, how George and Laura never so much as budged from the White House throughout the entire duration of the Cessna Crisis.

No photos are available, however, as The President feels that exploiting such a moment for political gain would be inappropriate.

7

It’s time for the 5am rant update!

Seems the Flying Fuckup was trying to avoid a thunderstorm - hey, boys and girls, a sign of intelligence in the void! Flying a Cessna 182 into a thunderstorm would be even more stupid than busting DC airspace. BUT - asswipe should have called air traffic control. Cripers, if they had known what he was doing they probably wouldn’t have called in the air force and everyone would have been saved a lot of fuss and bother.

The fact he was avoiding weather may be the reason he is not being charged and still has his license. He is luckier than hungry fly finding the shit pile at the local zoo’s elephant house. He didn’t get shot down, he wasn’t arrested, and he’s not being held at a “secure location” without access to lawyer, which seems to be the current administration’s solution to anything embarassing. Make no mistake, the current crowd in DC is fucking vindictive and happy to scapegoat anyone they find inconvenient.

As expected, yesterday some Congress Critters were calling for an enlarged buffer zone to protect Washington. Guess what, assholes - it won’t do much good. Even a small airplane is hard to intercept (as the whole world is finding out). A good tailwind and a Cessna 182 can top 200 mph relative to the ground. That’s 3+ miles per minute. And why the fuck is Congress entitled to more protection than the average citizen? I say do away with their protection and let 'em take their chances with the rest of us - that way only those truly dedicated to the common good will serve, instead of the greedy, corrupt, yellow-bellied cowards we currently have in office. In truth, if DC went up in a nuclear fireball most citizens would be more upset over the loss of momuments and the death of the homeless sleeping over street grates than the obliteration of the current crop in Congress.

And shouldn’t it be a giant clue-by-four that - despite the inability of the airforce to intercept even the smallest, slowest airplane, despite the fact that the US has more small airplanes per square mile than anywhere else in the world, most at small, ungaurded airstrips - that despite this, we aren’t having daily airborne attacks against the country should be a fucking clue that the vast, overwhelming majority of pilots are NOT the enemy and, in fact, very few of the bad guys know how to fly. Stop getting your panties in a twist over small fry airplanes, guys, and worry a little more about the other holes in our defenses. Like anthrax in the mail, for instance, or pipebombs in mailboxes, or security in subways, and other happy horseshit.

And, once again, let us save the most virulent tirade for the talking shitheads in the media. The fact the Chief Asshole didn’t evacuate should be a fucking clue that maybe this wasn’t a crisis after all. Let’s face it - Dubya is no Sam Houston and isn’t much of heoric swagger-man by Texas standards. Hell, not even by sissy-boy standards.

Fact is, the featherless vultures in the media WANT death and destruction - for someone else - to report on. Granted, September 11 was a bit more of a feast than even their self-absorbed guts could digest, and how unfair it happened in New York City where, just possibly, some of the precious media might also have been hurt along with the other fodder for the evening soundbites. Oh, and those anthrax letters - they were so surprised someone would mail Tom Brokaw et. al. a little package of death. Don’t these bloated, corpulant egos realize that a lot of people don’t like them? That some of us view with contempt those who make their living selling images of human misery as a means to sell cornflakes?

Given a choice between being locked in a small, overheated room and covered with itching powder with either an ambulance-chasing lawyer or a TV news anchor I’d take the lawyer in a heartbeat. I mean, there’s a chance the lawyer might not make up irrelevant bullshit about the experience, and much less likely such things will be regurgitated on the next broadcast.

The goddamned newsies aren’t reporting news - they’re reporting gossip and inneundo. There is fodder for a dozen rants in any news broadcast. These embarassments to humanity require heavy makeup prior to broadcast to disguise the fact they are really bipedal pustules on rectum of the world.

8

I, for one, would definitely miss the Smithstonian.

9

Losing all that nice marble around the Mall would be sad.

10

Those lovely cherry trees haven’t done anyone any wrong - they don’t deserve to die.

11

Well, one obvious step would be to close Washington National Ronald Reagan Let’s Win One for the Gipper Airport…

Oh, wait, what’s that I hear? Cries of outrage from Congress?

Yeah, Dulles is really way-the-hell-and-gone out there in the middle of nowhere, isn’t it? Quite inconvenient for your busy, always-on-the-go Congressman.

12

Hey! Leave the sissy-boys out of it.

13

Like I said - he’s not up to your standards.

14

[awarding rare double 9.8 scores for excellent sequential rants while privately resolving never to buzz the White House where Broomstick might hear about it]

15

Hell - just wait’ll they find out about the plastic planes (at 300 mph) that don’t even SHOW UP on radar (unless they leave their transponders on)
I DID love the fact that the F-16’s couldn’t even intercept a friggin’ 182.

and - the commander-in-cheif has secure quarters in the White House, and is not evacuated - tour guides, yes, prez, no…

Maybe someday we’ll find out about those anti-aircraft missles on the roof (so far, just rumors)

16

A .45 auto, a big tree and a J-3 Cub and make a P-51 or an F-16 stay and play and I’ll win.

The misinformed lead by the uniformed talking heads… Sheesh!!!

Broomstick knows… Most civil pilots know…

Or fearless leaders and the rest of the crooks ain’t got a clue…

Lets control the good guys so we don’t have to mess with the bad guys cause they don’t co-operate…

::::: sheesh ::::::

17

Of course Bush didn’t leave the White House - he’s a pilot, and understands how much of a threat a 182 is. He probably went, “Leave? Are you KIDDING ME? It’s a freaking 182. Honey, don’t stand near the window. There, we’re safe. Now get out of here, you Secret Service pussies.”

18

BTW, a few years ago a local man committed suicide by flying a 172 into his girlfriend’s house. He hit the living room square in the picture window. We’re talking about a normal frame dwelling. Result? A hole though the window with a pair of wings sticking out. The house was damaged, but not severely. I think it was something like $35,000 in damage. And that’s it.

Airplanes like 172’s and 182’s fly between 130 and 170 mph at best. And they both weigh less than most cars, and they are very flimsy, which means they give up a lot of their energy destroying themselves. Cars have heavy steel frames and punch through things - airplanes with monocouque structures flatten themselves against even mildly strong barriers.

I was just looking at a crash picture of a guy’s Cessna 177 cardinal. His engine quit, and he was trying to land in a school field and saw some kids at the last minute. So he flew the airplane intentionally into the chain-link fence. The fence won. The guy and his wife and passenger are okay, but the fence destroyed the airplane. One of those little aluminum fence posts folded the leading edge of the wing back all the way to the spar.
The White House is safe from 172’s and the like. They can cause some light damage, and that’s about it.

19

BTW, a few years ago a local man committed suicide by flying a 172 into his girlfriend’s house. He hit the living room square in the picture window. We’re talking about a normal frame dwelling. Result? A hole though the window with a pair of wings sticking out. The house was damaged, but not severely. I think it was something like $35,000 in damage. And that’s it.

Airplanes like 172’s and 182’s fly between 130 and 170 mph at best. And they both weigh less than most cars, and they are very flimsy, which means they give up a lot of their energy destroying themselves. Cars have heavy steel frames and punch through things - airplanes with monocouque structures flatten themselves against even mildly strong barriers.

I was just looking at a crash picture of a guy’s Cessna 177 cardinal. His engine quit, and he was trying to land in a school field and saw some kids at the last minute. So he flew the airplane intentionally into the chain-link fence. The fence won. The guy and his wife and passenger are okay, but the fence destroyed the airplane. One of those little aluminum fence posts folded the leading edge of the wing back all the way to the spar.
The White House is safe from 172’s and the like. They can cause some light damage, and that’s about it.

20

The insanity continues…

Discuss amongst yourselves. I’ll be back for a tirade when I have more time to froth and growl.