The Sollar (sic) System needs a president? Who knew?

This is possibly the strangest piece of spam I’ve ever received:


For immediate Worldwide Distribution


The Office of J.P. Monfort is launching today a Candidacy for the Presidency of the Sollar System. This Candidacy expands all countries, territories, planets, satellites within the Sollar System, including:

Planet Earth, the Moon, the Sun, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto, with all its satellites –whether natural or artificial-.

The First Priority in J.P. Monfort’s candidacy will be the COMPLETE ERADICATION of EXTREME POVERTY in the ENTIRE Sollar System, including Planet Earth. The Second Priority in J.P. Monfort’s candidacy will be the draft of a Sollar System Constitution which will set the basis of a Sollar System Democracy. The Third Priority in J.P. Monfort’s candidacy will be the establishment of the Sollar System Federal Capital in the New International Territory of Decemland.

The EXPERT DREAMER Organization will represent a Global Governance alternative and is an integral part of J.P. Monfort’s candidacy. ALL HUMANS AND ALIENS will be encouraged to participate in the election on the election day, the second Tuesday in November 2016.

Were no extraterrestrial forms of life to show up during the election day, their absence would be considered abstention vote.

This is not Science Fiction, we call it Reality Fiction. To dream or not to dream, that is the question.

Sincerely, The Office of J.P. Monfort

THE OFFICE OF JP MONFORT | Welcomes Dreamers to the Future | www Monfort org

I hope the aliens have email, and know when November 16th 2016 is, otherwise they’ll be making a mockery of the democratic process.

Reported for forum change -> Elections

If you can’t spell it, you can’t be President of it. I’m pretty sure that’s in the Constitution somewhere.

Where might I go to make a donation to this extraordinary man’s campaign? I’ve been saying for years that we need to change how the Sollar system works, and this Monfort seems just the sentient entity to do it!

Don’t blame me, I voted for Kodos.

I love JP Monfort. I get a fairly steady stream of thoroughly nutty spam from him here at my work email. Yesterday, a picture of Jules Verne (I assume), telling me about “An Intellectual Vehicle able to Travel in Time.” As I am apparently “a Dreamer who loves and a Lover who dreams”, JP wants me to join the “Strategic Teams in Decemland.” Jules Verne is “still waiting” for me!

My favorite was “Remember the Great Americans,” which had no real text–just this odd distorted picture of Honest Abe, MLK Jr., a few others I didn’t recognize, and… Jerry Seinfeld?

More, because I just glanced over at the place on my corkboard where I print these things out and post them: “It is written in the History of Tomorrow that a War against the Great Evils of the time would be started in 2012, in which the Axis of Feeble would be defeated using the weapons of mass persuasion.” I love it. :smiley:

Frank Chu would be a good candidate for this office.

Do we have to show a photo ID to vote? If so, I protest on behalf of the Venusians, who, as we know, are transparent.

I will donate a dollar to whomever runs against this guy.

I would so love this to be an ARG.

Yeah, it’s time for the ABM (Anyone But Monfort) coalition to pick his opponent.

A real candidate would be using UTC…Paris Time is sooooo one hour ago.

Well, I should be a great candidate for this…I’ve personally seen to it that unemployment and poverty had been totally erased off the face of the Sun, which by far is the largest of the Sollar System. There’s just a few dark spots that should clear up in 5 or 6 years, but other than that, my reputation is freaking stellar. :cool:

Are you guys sure this isn’t just Newt Gingrich’s next book tour?

It’s not in the constatooshun of the Sollar System - I checked.

Solar is spelled Sollar on Jupiter, which obviously carries more weight than Earth pronunciation.

Just another example of a candidate selling out Earth interests to appeal to the Jovian vote.

You just know he’s going to say he’s always supported fast spplorging in his next press conference.

Jupiter throws around a lot of weight and has lots of little flunkies floating around. They remind me of Moonies.

I’m just glad someone is finally going to tackle the appalling poverty on Ganymede.