The Empire Strikes Back
He is Lukes father
Se7en
They catch the killer but he ends up using them, he cuts off Det. Mill’s wifes head so that he will commit the sin of avrice, so that John Doe can die as punishment for jealosy.
The story “Reason” in “I, Robot”
It turns out that the robot religon does not violate any of the laws of robotics so Powell and Donovan decide to just let the robots keep it.
The Crying Game[Quimby]In other news, the chick in the Crying Game is really a man.
(crowd boos)
I mean, man, is that a good movie.[/Quimby]
LOTR
He’s not really dead
Winnie-the-Pooh
CR grows up
The Boondock Saints
Il Duce is their father!
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines
Arnie tricked them into going to a bomb shelter; Judgement day happens
Star Trek: Nemesis
Data blows himself up to stop the superweapon from going off
Holy Bible
Jesus says, “I’ll be back.”
People, you are free to make a spoiler thread, but at least get them right.
Se7en
“They catch the killer but he ends up using them, he cuts off Det. Mill’s wifes head so that he will commit the sin of avrice [Its WRATH!], so that John Doe can die as punishment for jealosy.”
T3
“Arnie tricked them into going to a bomb shelter; Judgement day happens” [Not even close - Arnie agrees to let them go try to stop Judgement day, but its too late by far. The heroine’s father, in his dying moments, sends them to a bomb shelter with a lot of old military gear. Also, Skynet used the ultimate Terminator as a last ditch effort to ensure its own creation.]
The Usual Suspects
Mein Gott im Himmel! He IS Keyser Soze!
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
Einhorn is Finkle! Finkle is Einhorn! Einhorn is a man!
Fight Club
Jack is Tyler! Tyler is Jack! Jack is a crazyperson!
Citizen Kane
Rosebud is a sled
Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets
Ginny Weasley opened the Chamber of Secrets
Das Boot
Most everybody survives and gets back to dry land. Then they all die in an air raid. Laugh? Laugh? It’s enough to put you off getting killed altogether.
One-Hour Photo
Sy is upset because he realises the father in his perfect adopted stalked family is having an affair. But he doesn’t kill anyone, he just follows him to a hotel with his lady friend, threatens them with a knife and takes degrading pictures of them in sexual positions. Then he’s busted by the police who establish in questioning that this is a parallel of the abuse Sy received as a child from his own father. The movie ends with Sy choosing to remain, mentally, inside his safe photographic reality. The man is quite insane, but he knows right from wrong better than anyone else in the movie.
Vanilla Sky
He’s in cryogenic stasis and dreaming the whole thing. Yes, you read that right. Yes, it’s crap, isn’t it?
Blair Witch Project
[spoiler]Brian: (describing a screening of the movie) Nothing’s happening… nothing’s happening… nothing’s happening… it’s over. A lot of people look pissed.
Casablanca
She goes with Victor. Your dad tries not to cry.
Saving Private Ryan
The old man at the start is Private Ryan. Tom Hanks gets killed. So do lots of other people including Phoebe’s brother off Friends. The essential message is that you should feel guilty about this (and about laughing like a jackass throughout the beach landing scene).
ET: The Extra-Terrestrial
He doesn’t get to go home. You think he does but at the end the Agencies capture him and give him a lobotomy. Then he trudges back into the ward drooling and the Chief smothers him with a pillow and smashes through the wall with the sink.
Star Trek II, III and IV
Spock dies. But he doesn’t really. Then they save the world with whales. Saved you a few hours there.
Pirates of the Caribbean
Jack Sparrow (Depp) is a ghost. He gets fixed.
The Sixth Sense
Bruce Willis is an arseho- I mean, a ghost. The little boy doesn’t get any less annoying.
The Others
They’re all ghosts. Nicole Kidman doesn’t get any less annoying. In fact she gets more annoying.
The Matrix: Reloaded and The Matrix: Revolutions
They weren’t expecting to actually have to do sequels so more fool you for calling their bluff. Lots of stuff happens that doesn’t make any sense and Trinity dies, which is quite good. I think it’s a draw at the end.
Chinatown
She’s her sister and her daughter!
The Maltese Falcon
The bird’s a fake.
Psycho
Norman and his mom share the same cranial space.
Murder on the Orient Express
Everybody did it.
Wuthering Heights
Kathy and Heathcliff become combined wormfood and Lockwood FINALLY gets his sorry ass out of there (the twit).
Patty
2001: A Space Odyssey It’s basically an acid trip. Lines and colors, yes. Logic and plot, no. Someone will be along to tell me that each color of the crazy-color-effect-thing is symbolic. They will be wrong. 
Into the Woods The giant’s a woman (That size!). The prince is a cheating, lying jackass. Just about everyone dies. Turns out that children will listen after all. Actually that third sentence applies to several works of fiction.
Blood Brothers Crazy Narrator was right. They find out. Then they die.
1984 He dies. Or maybe he doesn’t. The Party still prevails.