Inspired by someone being a bit unreasonable in another thread here in CS.
Rollover space.
Dil’s a guy.
The prize is to be stoned to death.
Darth Vader is Luke’s father.
Spock Dies.
Spock Lives.
Her name is Beatrix.
Soylent Green is people!
Rosebud is a sled.
The Planet of the Apes is really Earth.
Biggirl, I’m in charge of being evil here. 
Rebecca was not a nice person.
Julius Caesar dies.
His dad comes back and plays catch with him.
There are snakes on the plane.
They catch the killer.
They raise enough money to save the school/farm/town/factory.*
They get married.
He dies at the end.
*unless the movie was made in the first half of the '70’s then they don’t.
The South loses the war.
He’s already dead.
He is dead people
Simulpost! Too creepy…
The Monster At The End Of This Book is Grover.
The ship sinks.
You sonovabitch, I wanted to see that movie!
The Titanic sinks.
The Titanic stinks.
The butler did it.
He gets crucified.
Germany loses the war.
Japan loses the war.
He gets the girl (of course!)