Bruce Willis is dead the whole time. Maggie shot Mr. Burns. Edward Norton is Tyler Durden. The chick in the Crying Game was actually a guy. The narrarator is the Once-ler. Harry died of natural causes. Darth Vader is Luke’s father.

And the rock star mythos is a lie- like the Easter Bunny. Or Sasquatch.

I don’t get that one.

RD, you gotta go to the classics for that one. It’s from The Lorax.

Keyser Soze? He’s Verbal. It’s all an elaborate hoax.

The killer is a nutcase who is doing in people in accordance with the Seven Deadly Sins! It’s his wife’s head in the box!

Bob woke up, and realized it was all a dream.

Captain Picard actually caused the rift in time that almost destroyed all humanity.

They all lived happily ever after.

The narrator did it.

They all did it.

The stupid castaways never, ever, ever get of the fucking island.
Oh, and when they do, in a god-awful made-for-TV-movie, they just get their asses stuck on the same stupid island again.


Beaches – she dies. Steel Magnolias – she dies. Terms of Endearment – she dies. Bang the Drum Slowly – he dies. Saving Private Ryan – he dies. The Last Temptation of Christ – He dies.

He dies? Oh no, say it isn’t so. : much wailing and beating of the breasts. sackcloth and ashes!: No! NO! NO!

::sorry, couldn’t control myself::

Smoothie, He comes back (Last Tempation of Christ II – The Return) but, yes, He dies first.

“Rosebud” was his sled. Kevin Costner really is a Russian agent. The bomb is in Jeff Bridges’ trunk.

The Americans win. But the gruff-talking, big-hearted kid from Brooklyn takes one in the helmet in the last scene.

The Titanic sank. The Red October was defecting. The dinosaurs get off the island.

It’s the name of a club in New York. Everyone dies (sort of.)

Ummmm, Hitchiker’s Guide?

It’s his twin brother. It’s his sister. It’s his father come back from the dead. It’s his mother, wait… no, it’s actually him dressed up as her.


42? I thought it was 23.

Soylent Green is made of People!

The princess is his long-lost sister–yeah, I know they kissed in the second one, but who knew?
The blonde writer did it–oh, wait, that was obvious (dumb, evil movie).

And then at the end, when you think everything’s gonna be ok, all the phones start ringing–everywhere.

I’d do more, but I hate to do it to a good movie.

Rosebud was not his sled. Rosebud was his nickname for his mistresses pussy [See RKO 280, the story of Citizen Kane].

On the X Files, the aliens ALWAYS DID IT.

Young Holland Perry is dead the whole time.