“Good morning, ladies and gentlemen, this is Satan. I’ve killed the pilot and co-pilot and have commandeered this plane, and shortly, up on your left, I’ll be flying it into a big mountain. Thank you for flying United!”
Esprix
[sub]“No, the white phone!”[/sub]
::To Laura Dern. In an airport.::
I’m GAY!
Let us pray.
“Paging Phillip Morris. Paging Phillip Morris.”"
[/annoying muzak]
Attention SDMB shoppers. In IMHO, you can find our latest and greatest polls on matters ranging from politics to lingerie, and beyond. Please stop by our lovely IMHO section, and be sure to say hello to Czarcasm and TVeblen, your moderators. All this week, we’re running a special on sexual innuendo, so stop on by!
[annoying muzak]
Please move ALL the way through the doors, past the yellow line. Hold on to the handrails.
The doors will be closing momentarily.
Don’t start up with that “white zone” shit again, Euty.
*Attention, your attention please…*we’d like to congratulate Silo on completing his last post. Come down to the conference room, have some cake and wish him a happy retirement.
[sub]Super, I was thinking the same thing when I first opened this thread![/sub]
Watch the tram car please…Watch the tram car please…Watch the tram car please…Watch the tram car please…Watch the tram car please…
Are you frightened yet? 
Ladies and gentlemen, Elvis has left the building…
Please stand clear of the doors.
Por favor, manténgase alejado de las puertas.
hijack
one of you is going to have to explain the ‘white zone’
well, I have an idea, but I’m quite evil. Please provide a link if its a board reference. If not, I shall just think the worst.
/hijack
I now return you to your regularly scheduled thread.
Your attention please:
Dr. Fine, Dr.Howard,Dr. Fine, please report to the Psyc. Ward Thank you
…Mr. Smith, Paging Mr. Smith: Your village called. They’re missing an idiot…
Apologies to anyone who is actually named Mr. Smith.
<< There are two rules for being successful: 1. Don’t tell everything you know. >>
Please be aware that the public address system is for the use of official sales representatives only.
Thank you.
Eutychus55
Official Sales Representative
Doctor Howard, Doctor Fine, Doctor Howard…
O
This is a high-speed ride.
Expectant mothers and guests with back or neck problems should not experience this attraction.
The 'white zone is an Airplane! reference. A male and female start debating, via the loudspeakers, over whether the red or white zone is for loading and unloading. As they argue, they start getting personal (“Come on, Bob. We both know what this is about. You want me to have that abortion.”). All over the loudspeakers.
Please move to the center of the cars and stand clear of the closing doors. This 6 train will move to the express track, skip the next 15 stops, and go directly to Yankee Stadium. Please stand clear of the closing doors.
I said… Please stand clear of the closing doors. There is a train directly behind this one.
THERE IS A TRAIN DIRECTLY BEHIND THIS ONE! Pleasestandclearoftheclosingdoors!
YOU! IN THE FRONT! WITH THE METS CAP! STOP HOLDING THE DOORS!
Would the owner of a white 1992 Ford Minivan, Rhode Island license tag E-U-T-Y-fiver-fiver please report to the front desk? Your car radio is on. And for some reason it’s playing annoying MIDI files of the theme to “Popeye.”
:: Ducking and running ::
:::beep…beep…beep:::
This is a test of the Emergency Broadcasting System…oh wait, what was that? Bob in IS pulled the fire alarm? Again? Christ Almighty!
Okay everyone, instead of a fire alarm, this is a general call for funds to buy Bob in IS a damn life. Anyone interested in contributing, see Jill in Payroll.
Sorry for the inconvenience.