Mike Hunt? Paging Mr. Mike Hunt?
Hugh G Rection? Paging Mr. Hugh G Rection?
Ben Dover? Paging Mr. Ben Dover?
Peter Fitzinwell? Paging Mr. Peter Fitzinwell?
Testing…one…two…three…
Testing…ssssilbilance…ssssibilance
Testing…Mary had a little duck…testing…
[/annoying muzak]
Attention SDMB shoppers. Why don’t you visit Great Debates today! Browse our selection of interesting and in-depth conversations on a wide variety of subjects, including evolution, gun control, moon landings, gun control, and evolution. Please feel free to stop by our convenient reference section on your way over. Say hi to DavidB and Gaudere, your friendly moderators, while you’re there. And make sure to take advantage on this week’s special; annoying conspiracy kooks are half price!
[annoying muzak]
Prochain arrêt, place St-Henri.
" . . . And at third base [sub]third base … [sub]third base [/sub][/sub]. . . Manny [sub]Manny … Manny[/sub] . . . Mota [sub]. . . Mota … Mota [/sub]
may I have your attention please… ahem…
GEORGIA BLOWS GOATS… I have proof
thank you.
Attention shoppers. We have a little lost boy. He’s about three years old, he’s wearing a cap with a propeller on top, and he has some er… cut out pictures of underexposed moon landing photos. He’s very distressed, so if his parents could please make their way to the information desk on level three…
ALL HANDS TO BATTLE STATIONS!!! ALL HANDS TO BATTLE STATIONS!!!
THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!! I REPEAT, THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!!
Allright [insert city name here]… Are you ready to ROCK!!! I can’t hear you!!!
There will be a another showing of this week’s movie, “Bells of Saint Mary’s”, for anyone interested in seeing it again, tonight in the Mes Tent. Th food stains have been cleaned off the screen. The snail races are set for tonight at 8 in Rosie’s bar, to be followed by an escargot roast. Colonel Blake should report to his office. There’s another phone call about Major Burns.
Mind…the gap.
.
.
.
.
Mind…the gap.
WATCH THE TRAMCAR, PLEASE.
WATCH THE TRAMCAR, PLEASE.
WATCH THE TRAMCAR, PLEASE.
PAGING MR. HERMAN…PAGING MR. HERMAN…
ATTENTION CITIZENS OF TOKYO…
ATTENTION CITIZENS OF TOKYO …
GODZILLA has been sited outside the city. He is breathing fire and stomping on our poorly built paper buildings.
Everyone RUN AND SCREAM LIKE HELL!!!
[sub]It won’t do any good, but you gotta do something.[/sub]
People of Earth your attention please, this is Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz of the Galactic Hyperspace Planning Council. As you will no doubt be aware, the plans for development of the outlying regions of the Galaxy require the building of a hyperspace express route through your star system, and regrettably your planet is one of those scheduled for demolition. The process will take slightly less than two of your Earth minutes, thank you very much.
It is my privilege to extend the laurel and hearty handshake to our new… (pause) nigger"
[sub]“Blazing Saddles” quote, if you didn’t know. Anyone ready for the response?[/sub]
[/annoying muzak]
Attention SDMB shoppers. Come on down to our Bar-B-Q pit! Located on the south side of the message boards, the pit is an informative source of rants, trolls, and concatenated invective. Always entertaining, frequently obscene, occasionally disgusting, the Pit is where all the intelligentsia gather to beat the living crap out of each other. Today’s special Pit feature: Slow-roasted Troll. Get 'em while they’re hot!
[annoying muzak]
[celestina staggers up to the microphone and taps on it to see if it’s working, but she taps it so loud she knocks teh microphone and its stand over. Loud static and feedback reverberate through the room.]
[giggle] Um, I’m drunk. Anyone care to drink with me?
[celestina skips off the stage singing “Follow the Yellow Brick Road.”] 
“Donner, party of 30…29…28…”
“Today…I consider myself…the luckiest man in the world…”
“My name is Brandon Tartikoff, I’m the head of NBC news, AND I’M NOT WEARING PANTS!!”
TAP … TAP … TAP … is this thing working?