Just now, about 5 minutes ago. I was putting on my bra (not a minor undertaking considering the size of these here boobies) lifting the cup over the mams when the bra cup suddenly and for no discernable reason, slipped. This cause my hand to fly up, into my nose. I saw stars. . . and then blood.
That’s right folks. I bloodied my own nose putting on my bra. I’m not sure which is stupider-- punching myself out or running in here to tell you all about it.
I don’t want to feel alone in my stupidity. One of you guys did something just as stupid, right. . . RIGHT???
One time I was at work and the button on my slacks came off. I fixed it with a safety pin and carried on. Then when I had to go pee, I undid the safety pin pulled down the slacks just a bit, and peed. When finished, I instinctively shook my penis, and hollered like a castrated pig when the safety pin stuck in my penis. No real damage, and it didn’t really hurt much after I unimpaled it, but
I once dropped an x-acto knife I was working with and managed to catch it before it hit the ground. I was about to be pleased with my reflexes until I realized that a) I had caught it by the blade end and b) there was a lot of blood coming out of my thumb. :eek:
I, too, once caught a dropped X-acto knife… with the top of my foot. I didn’t want the blade to break when it hit the floor, so I stuck my foot out to catch it. And I didn’t stop to think that I was wearing sandals. There was a cartoon-like BOINGGGG effect when the knife stuck straight into the top of my foot and jiggled back and forth for a moment. Yee-ouch.
I also caught a boob in a shirt zipper once. Felt pretty silly about that. (WHY was I wearing such a horrible shirt?)
Gorgon: Nice to see you have your priorities in order.
I had a spare wheel rim in the back of my van once (I don’t even remember why). Apparently it shifted during transit so it was leaning against the side door. I slid the side door open one day and I heard this grating, metal-sliding-on-metal sound. There was a brief Wile E. Coyote moment where I looked down, saw the wheel falling towards my foot, and thought, “Boy, this is really going to hurt.”
I was right. Broke my big toe. It hasn’t been right since.
OK, I’ll 'fess up. I was working late once (engineering support on the night shift - ugh) so I was alone in the office, thank goodness. Picture the old-time gray gov’t issue steel desks - the kind with a long shallow drawer just about the knee hole. Picture that drawer opened about 3". Picture me seated at my desk reviewing engineering drawings. Picture me leaning closer, trying to read the small print. Picture me skooching closer still. Picture me skooching said drawer closed on my chestal protrusions. Imagine the language. It’s a good thing I was alone…
Not me, but my husband. He dropped a lit cigarette into a toilet in which was was making peepee and it landed on his gentleman area. We’d only been dating about a month but he called me at work for sympathy. I was delighted.
When I was younger, but unfortunately not that much unwiser (is that a word?), my friends and I had a game called Sockfighting. Basically we would get two of those white atheletic socks, ball one up into the toe of the other, and have at it like we were The Three Musketeers combined with professional wrestling. You can almost hear the foolishness coming on can’t you? Anyway, we were having a good ol’ time of it at a public park when a passerby made the comment “put some rocks in 'em, they’ll work better”. Good idea, I thought. Now I wasn’t going to whale on my friends with a rock in a sock… but having found a baseball sized rock, I thought I’d try whaling on a tree. I took a Barry Bonds-type swing… the rock in a sock hit the tree, and with great force rebounded and came around and hit me in the back… breaking one of my ribs. Me dumbass.
I had a flat tire on the right rear of a 1978 Four Door Ford LTD. I had just removed the tire when the jack began to slip. My brain died and I grabbed the rear bumper, thinking to keep the car from rolling off the jack. The car rolled forward, the jack popped out and whacked me on the right shin, raising a knot the size of a baseball, or so it seemed at the time. I forgot to turn loose of the bumper and when the brake drum hit the ground, I was jerked face first into the deck lid of the Ford. My nose bled a lot, my shin hurt for several days, and my pride suffered enormously.
I was being interviewed for a job. The interviewer pulled out a cigarette, asked me if I wanted one. I said no thanks I’ll have one of mine. I pulled out my pack and pulled out a joint put it in my mouth and lit it. I immediately realized what I had done. The interviewer gave me a strange look. I dismissed myself and walked out of the office embarrassed and stupid.
Remember breakdancing? Yeah. Well, the year was about 1984 and I was about 12, and alone in the house, and decided I’d try some breakdancing in the kitchen, where the floor was best for it. I’m moonwalking and pop-locking and so on, and go down to do a backspin*, without quite scouting my location carefully enough. About one quarter-turn into the backspin, WHAM! I slammed my head into the side of some cabinets.
I don’t want to say I made a lot of noise, but I think the workers at the local sawmill went to lunch early that day.
[sub]* A backspin, for you young’uns, is where you drop onto your back, whip your legs up to your chest, and get yourself spinning around like a top on your back.[/sub]
The stupidest thing I’ve ever done to myself? I seriously don’t even know where to start.
I was working in the yard once and stepped on the business end of a hoe, causing the handle to rise up and WHACK me in the back of the head. I looked around to see who hit me and I was all by my widdle self.