The Stupidest Thread Started Today: Where Would You Hide Out From a Zombie Attack?

Boys, boys, boys - it’s all so simple. You just drive north till you get to the Arctic Circle.

Yes, that’s right. the Arctic Circle. Zombies are a/ Organic and b/ Not too bright. It doesn’t matter how cold blooded they are, they’re going to frzze anywhere where where’s there’#s permafrost.

You, on the other hand will be all toasty and warm in the abandoned military base you found just above Baffin Island. You know, the one where Kurt Russell was based and all those soldiers died that time. Torn to shreds they were. All very mysterious.

All you have to really worry about is getting to Seattle (or - even better - Prince Rupert in BC). In Seattle, you can steal a boat and a whole, whole bunch of fuel and run straight up the coast.

Can’t really get lost getting to the island my folks live on - it’s right next to the mainland - next island out. You just keep going up the coast (by boat or on foot - on foot it’d be a long long freaking walk, but probably safe enough from zombies).

Assuming that the collapse isn’t really quicklike, and one was paying a modicum of attention to news reports, you could fly there.

I, personally, plan to head for my Mom’s the second I start hearing news of the Zombiepocalypse.

I am already planning on stealing a plane and flying myself north out of the zombie friendly climate. If you see a plane crash land on the shore of your island after the zombipocolypse, you’ll know I survived.

Call first, and I’ll even see about getting you through quarantine :smiley: As a bonus, the island has an airport. It’ll almost certainly be surrounded by a damn big fence and some men with weapons to kill possible zombies (or looters), but I’ll know them all so I can clear you through.

Well sure, they don’t teleport. My big concern with Costco isn’t keeping the zombies out. It’s twofold: (1) There are going to be other people already there by the time I get there, and I would have to persuade them to let me in and share their valuable resources. I might be able to count on basic human decency, but I might not. (2) The more people you have in a given setting, the more likely someone got a minor bite/scratch and will eventually turn. This danger goes up if the people in Costco are letting other survivors in the doors as they arrive.

For avoiding something infectious, it seems to me that getting away from all but a small group of other people is the way to go. With a small group, it’s easier to monitor everyone and make sure no one is infected.

I know I don’t post as much as I used to, so maybe I’ve missed this…

but why has no one said NARNIA?

I mean, zombies can’t turn doorknobs, so the wardrobe should be safe against them (I seriously doubt it will work as a portal if smashed). Even if some zombies somehow get through, you can always turn to the likes of Coriakin or Ramandu for magical help; I’m sure a wizard who used to be a star could figure out a way to handle the undead. And, failing that, you’ve got fricking Aslan if things get really bad.

Failing Narnia, I’d aim for Middle-earth. I’m certain the Eorlingas could defeat any zombie army ever conceived.

I think this thread kind of misses the point. No matter how secure the area you are in, the zombies will find you eventually. They’ll smell you out. They may not be able to get in, but they’ll find you. Sit on the roof and pick them off for sport? Okay…then other zombies will find you. Sooner or later you’ll run out of ammo or patience. Fun for a while, granted… but how many of those little buggers ya gonna clip before it gets old?

My point is that it’s more important to have a well stocked and inpenetrable vehicle to escape in. Pick a reasonably secure and isolated place. Park your vehicle, settle in, and wait. Make sure you have unfettered access to the vehicle; I suggest an attached garage with a remote opener. Ride exercise bikes to keep in shape (you’ll see why). When they show up, just leave, carefully making sure that no zombies get through your fence on the way out. Find another place and repeat. When it’s time to leave again, go back to the first place. The zombies will be gone. No humans there, remember? They don’t eat regular food and have no interests other than eating humans, so it’s not like they’ll ransack the place. Once they no longer smell humans, they’ll leave. True, they’ll find you again…slowly. Then you move again. Granted, you might need more than 2 places to seesaw between, if for no other reason than if something happens to one (or strangers move in) you’ve got plenty of spares. The point is that you’ll always be assured of a well-stocked familiar environment, kinda like snowbirds. No need to subject yourself to a sheltered, claustrophobic environment. And remember: a super secure place means that if they do find a way in, you may be trapped inside and unable to get out. Mobility is more important than “security”, IMO.

Misanthropic as I am, I don’t agree survivors are really a problem. Assuming that most of society is dead or zombified, there should be enough provisions for all of the survivors for several years until the zombies die. And even the mean tough guys will be smart enough to know: if someone survived, it’s because they have a gun and know how to use it. They’ll approach everyone, even little kids, with appropriate caution. Therefore, you should try to form packs with other survivors (you could take zombie watching shifts). Everytime you move, you stop off to stock up. I like the Costco idea for that. I think it also pays to have multiple vehicles in case of a breakdown; at the very least, you should get some extra vehicles for planting at convenient locations with the keys in them so that if your vehicle breaks down you make a run for it. Better yet, you should have bike carriers on your vehicle so that you can ride away (you have been keeping up with the exercise bike, right?).

BTW, I know what you’re thinking: everytime you leave a location you’ll have to burst through a phalanx of starving zombies, thus damaging your vehicle and placing you at risk. A little dramatic, don’t you think? No need for any sort of high speed mow-downs, fun as it sounds. Just run 'em over at low speeds. They’ll fall over like a row of dominoes. Use 4WD if you have to.

Finally, if you are gonna go the prison route I suggest a small juvenile detention facility: razor wire and tall fence on the outside, but more livable on the inside. Ya really wanna live in an adult prison?

Heh, just use a modified Redecker plan, and use a large refugee group as zombie “bait” at a not-so defendable location. I’m thinking you could trick them into fleeing into Moria, and leading the zombie hordes straight into troll city. :smiley:

If, for some reason I was able to get in and found it deserted, any police station in Northern Ireland would suffice. Big bomb proof walls, filled with guns and armoured cars for raids to shopping centres and the likes. The one on the Lisburn Rd is almost opposite a supermarket and a few hundred yards from an office license.

Its near a fire station for when the zombie threat has subsided and we want to have fun :smiley:

Trolls? In Moria? Since when?

Yeah, there’s the occasional troll when the troops are on the move, but everybody knows that Khazad-dum is dwarrow territory. Or, in bad times, orc country.

'Sides, trolls don’t build cities. Too stupid.

Nonsense; rotting corpses will freeze like any other meat if it’s cold enough; and Tibet is way cold enough. I’d definitely want to get someplace where there’s a long, hard freeze in winter. The zombies should freeze solid, allowing annual large-scale clearing.

An important distinction necessary to the OP: Brooks’ zombie apocalpyse and George Romero’s movies have one striking difference.

Max Brooks posits an exotic virus that spreads through bites, causing the zombie problem to spread out from a single geographical area (rapidly because of infected people taking jetliners, and infected blood/body parts being transported for medical use, etc.).

In George Romero’s movies, there’s no virus involved (as far as anybody knows), and no scientific explanation at all. The world simply changes in a nightmarish way, so that any human who dies of any cause – heart attack, cancer, car wreck, heroin overdose – will rise as a living-dead, flesh-eating ghoul. Yes, a zombie’s bite will cause a lethal infection, but the result will be the same with any other natural or violent death (unless the brain has been too severely damaged).

So, in the Romero scenario, you must be vigilant not only against the existing zombies, but for anybody in your own community who unexpectedly dies. If Granny is peacefully passing away from kidney failure, you’d better be ready to put a bullet through her head right after she kicks off, or else her body will soon be rising out of bed and trying to gum some chunks off ya. Sad, really.

I really should preview. Meant to add that, personally, I’d probably be screwed. I live in Atlanta. I’m sure somebody else would beat me to the top of Stone Mountain, there to hole up with supplies and weapons. Dobbins AF Base would probably be closed off pretty early. I’ve considered the possibility of establishing a base in one of the tall buildings downtown, and moving through the Marta rail tunnels; probably not practical.

The dense woods of the Southeast might actually be a refuge, if one could learn to live off the land. They’re difficult enough for a normal person to get through, let alone shambling living corpses.

<Hrumph>

More than a month old.

Zombie Thread.

:stuck_out_tongue: :smiley:

I was at a buddy’s house this weekend and he had The Zombie Survival Guide in his bathroom. I read quite a bit of it that night. I really recomend it if you’re serious about surviving the zombipocolypse. It is hilarious because the author takes the material so seriously.
Now I just need to find a shaolin spade and a trench spike…

That’s the very idea I had! I figure I’d steal an armored truck from Brinks, load up with food, water, ammo and drive around like a cowboy rescuing the pretty girls running from the zombies. They even have those cool little holes to shoot out of in all directions. At night, heck, you could almost park in the middle of a zombie hoard and they’d never be able to touch you while you sleep, I wouldn’t risk it myself but without a screenwriter how are the zombies able to break into an armored truck?

A masa with too steep to scale sides and height suficient to prevent new arrivals from climbing on top of the fallen to the top, and lots of acreage ontop to use unmolested.

Use a screwdriver?

Ha-ha. That’s why you have to put trolls in Moria before the zombies get there.

I would retreat to the central-Wisconsin farm where I grew up, which my brother now owns. He has an electricity-generating windmill, and plenty of acres to grow crops. I would use a bow and arrows that I carve out of trees from the forest to shoot at zombies from the top of the silo. My brother also has guns, but I want the security of not running out of ammo. Besides, I could target practice to entertain myself. All of the survivors staying there would sleep in hammocks which hang from the ceiling of the barn loft. If someone dies in the night and turns, they will only be able to flop out of their hammock and dangle from the safety rope tied around their leg. The only way to get to the hammock is to climb a rope. Guns would also hang within arms reach of many of us while sleeping, in case a feral zombie were seen wandering around on the floor below. We would take care of the cows (providing there are no zombie cows) and use them for food, and even use their skins for clothing in the winter. I would construct a moonshine still to brew fuel for the vehicles, so we can still maintain the farm and grow crops. The population of the nearest town is only around 400, and the view from the silo is perfect. We may have 'round the clock watchtower duty, depending on how many survivors show up and decide to stay.

I, too, have given this considerable thought. In fact, I invited a coworker to stay with us if/when the zombie apocalypse strikes. He has an old modified bus that he refers to as the “Zombie Hunter.” Plus he has miliitary training, so he is more than welcome to join us. Getting the Zombie Hunter to run on my homemade fuel will allow plenty of supply runs, periodic zombie cleansing, and a chance to find out what is going on in the nearest populated areas. The farm even has a machine shop, perfect for mechanical repairs and vehicle customization/reinforcement.

I’d hide out at the White House. Even zombies know there ain’t no braaaaiiiiiiiiiiinnnss in there…