Our Family Tradition (that’s nearly as old as the MMP itself) continues on for another year. But it was last Saturday, so you missed the Big Ol’ Powdered Sugar Doughnut Breakfast! Then, after the Big Ol’ Powdered Sugar Doughnut Breakfast(!), Uncle Skippy, his dog, my older sister, her husband, my younger sister, her husband, Soupo, Katcha and I all hopped in our cars (actually it was my younger sister’s minivan and my car) and went down to the river. Actually I think it was up to the river. Either way, we went to the river.
“Why did you go to the river?” you ask.
What? Didn’t you go read that link yet? You think I just search out old threads and link to them for no reason? We went to the river for the Big End of the Summer Canoe Trip. And it was our biggest flotilla ever! No, not the round, flat, bready thing you make burritos with, but a bunch of boats (canoes in this case) all going along together. It was way fun.
It was extra fun for Katcha. This year was his first year to go. (It really wasn’t fair since he’s five now and Soupo got to start going when he was merely four. But Soupo has an earlier birthday, so he was an old four and Katcha just got gypped. He got over it though.) It was also my older sister’s husband’s first time ever canoeing, and my older sister’s first time on the Big End of the Summer Canoe Trip. It was a year of firsts. Very exciting.
But before we embarked on our river excitement, first we had to stop and pee. “Always go before you go,” that’s my motto. Then we had to figure out who was in which boat. Katcha didn’t have a choice because the Little Woman said I had to watch him all day, so he had to be in my boat. Uncle Skippy’s dog had to be in his boat. After that it was chaos!
Well, it wasn’t that bad really. I made Soupo be in my boat to start with so everyone could get used to the canoes before I made someone else have Soupo. I mean, have you seen the boy? (Probably not.) He has these little skinny spaghetti arms. He’s not Big Help in the paddling department. So, since he’s my boy, I sucked it up (with minimal whining) and put him in my boat. At least til everyone got used to the whole river-and-conoe thing.
But Uncle Skippy didn’t take much time getting used to things. He’s good at driving a canoe. He’s the best out of the whole bunch of us. (Which, really, when you think about it ain’t sayin’ much. But he’s pretty good at driving a canoe.) He was in charge of Boat #2 (it was yellow, oddly enough) and then he had to have his dog with him. She was very excited to be going out on the river. And I can’t think of anything more fun to have in a canoe than a really excited Labrador Retriever. Which left one space in his canoe.
On one hand, we pretty much knew who would be in his boat to start. My younger sister and her husband have conflicting ideas on the proper paddling of a canoe. They aren’t allowed to be in the same boat if we can help it. Well, they can be in the same boat as long as they both aren’t paddling. But to save grief we put her in Skippy’s boat. Two boats are now filled.
By default that made all three boats filled. If you weren’t in my boat, or (better yet) in Skippy’s boat, you had to be in boat #3. (It was green. My boat was blue.) That left my older sister (who hasn’t canoed since she was little), her husband (who has never been in a canoe to the best of his recollection) and my younger sister’s husband. He’s been on a couple of these trips with us and he knows something about canoes. Like where you sit and which end goes forward. To be painfully honest about it, he’s not the first choice to captain a canoe. (That would be Skippy.) But he has the most experience, so he was in charge of the boat. (That meant he got to sit in back and steer.) Since my older sister had arms much like Soupo’s, she was excused from paddling and her husband got that job.
Now we were all set up and we hit the river. Or rather, since we’re not really a violent bunch, we stuck the canoes in the river and got in (after loading our food- we don’t go far without a supply of food) and headed downstream.
We got nearly 500 feet before we had to stop.
A lot of people get stopped about the place we stopped. But we did it on purpose. Most of the other people get stopped because that’s how far they get before they realize driving a canoe is a little bit trickier than they anticipated. I’m sure more than one marriage ended in that first 500 feet.
(“No, no! Paddle on the other side. The other side! Paddle on the other SIDE!”
CRASH!
“I told you to…”
And that’s when the wife (or girlfriend) (or boyfriend sometimes I guess) stands up and walks down the length of the canoe and starts beating the driver with their paddle.
“Oh, you want me to paddle on the other side do you? OK, fine!” And then they beat them on the other side of the head.
The first 500 feet of the trip is really a make-or-break deal.)
But we just stopped so Skippy’s dog could get out of the canoe and chase some sticks in the river. She was very excited and needed to work off some energy so she could enjoy the trip. Not that it really helped. Her problem was she wanted to be in all three boats at the same time. She was sure someone else was having some fun somewhere and she was missing out.
Then, after she brought back about a thousand thrown sticks we got back in our canoe and went farther downstream. About another 500 feet. Then it was time to stop at the first island. The boys were hungry. (All that stick throwing you know. It’s not like they were paddling at all.) So it was time to stop at Snack Island. And heck, while we were stopped, we might as well explore Snack Island (it was about twenty yards long and twelve feet across). And why not wade in the river? I mean it’s not like we had a schedule to keep.
That was pretty much the rhythm of the day. Paddle a little, then stop and get out of the boats and look around, and then get back in the boats and paddle a little more. Sometimes we’d even get crazy and rotate the paddlers to give someone a rest. But still, it took us five hours to travel the six miles of the trip. But it was a good time. I know the boys had a good time because they got ice cream at the end. That’s one of the most important parts of the whole Big End of the Summer Canoe Trip: the ice cream at the end. They also got home caked in river mud and the slept like logs that night. So, yeah, I’m pretty sure they had a good time.
Oh, and you know how I said it was a six mile trip? Well, canoe #3 went about nine or ten miles. See, my brothers by marriage? They are some great guys, but as far as driving a canoe… well, they saw more of the river than the rest of us. From one side to the other and back again. They got their money’s worth, distance-wise.
I’m pretty sure they both slept like logs that night too.
-Rue.
I’m trying to give up coffee, because I don’t sleep very well if I drink coffee, but today I’m really craving a nice big cup of coffee. It feels like Monday.