The supposed Universal ID Card ("American Ident-I-Eeze")

a couple of my co-workers were discussing the “Universal ID Card” thingy that’s rumored to happen in the US, apparently one of them heard that one of the categories on the “Ident-I-Eeze” will be “religion”

IF in fact that is a category, and if this supposed card does materialize, I figured the religion category is something I could have fun with, it’s none of the government’s business what I choose to believe or not believe, and I feel it’s my moral obligation to stymie these annoying little busybodies at every opportunity

Assuming the “religion” category does make it onto the Ident-I-Eeze, I’ve been thinking up annoying/amusing answers to put on the card…

Sure, I could be honest and just simply put “Atheist”, but that’s boring, and truthful, so I figured I could choose any one of the following;

Follower of the Almighty Og!
Flying Spaghettist
Frisbeeterianism (When you die, your soul lands on the roof and gets stuck)

I don’t think the religion category will be on the Ident-I-Eeze, in fact, I doubt the Ident-I-Eeze will even come to pass, but if it does, and religion is a category, what would you choose to put on the card, to screw with their database

Mods, this is intended to be a humorous thread, I have no interest in turning it into a Great Debate or anything, the question is simple “how would you confound or confuse the Ident-I-Eeze database”


In the spirit of the thread:

Jedi Knight :cool:

“The 2001 census reveals that 390,000 people across England and Wales are devoted followers of the Jedi “faith” made famous by the blockbuster films.”

In the spirit of the Great Debate spin-off ( :frowning: inserted by me):

"The entire UK population and every visitor to the country should be on the national DNA database, a top judge has said. :frowning:

Shami Chakrabarti, director of human rights organisation Liberty, said: "The DNA debate reveals just how casual some people have become about the value of personal privacy.
“A database of those convicted of sexual and violent crime is a perfectly sensible crimefighting measure. A database of every man, woman and child in the country is a chilling proposal, ripe for indignity, error and abuse.”

Fundamentalist vegetarian.
Militant atheist.

How could i forget Arkleseziurism (just waiting for the Coming of the Great White Handkerchief) :wink:



You infidel!

The true path is Antidisestablishmentarianism.

I think I would pick “Druid (Reformed)” for my card. I think I’ve used it in the past at one time or another.

You took mine, Captain Tuttle. :smiley: “They’re allowed to pray at bushes.”

Orthodox Druid

The Dagda will strike down you blaspheming Reformed Druids
“If it’s good enough for ancient Druids
Running nekkid through the wuids
Drinking strange fermented fluids
It’s good enough for me”

THAT’S where I remeber it from. Thanks.

Free-lance heretic

My Jeep’s bumper currently sports the sticker Born Again Voodooist that I picked up in NOLA. So, voodooist it is.

I once read somewhere about an athiest who referred to himself as a
“Free-Lance Decent Human Being”. That’s what I try to be.

Xenuologist. That’s what I’ve got on my facebook profile.

I’m pretty sure you mean “Pastafarian” here.

No, no, NO. It’s Reformed Orthodox Druid – we worship oak coffee tables.

Oprahism. :stuck_out_tongue:

All of the above.