The Ten Commandments of Drive-Thru Etiquette

[bordelond]

Does anyone else want to pick up the “you’ll get the cashier in trouble!” gambit that NotWithoutRage dropped?

Not even Spamti has picked that one up.

[Left_Hand_of_Dorkness]

@UncleRojelio

I agree that this is a valid strategy and I have implemented it many times. The thing that gets my knickers in a twist it the guy that manages to swing in just before I get to the speaker and then proceeds to launch into an extended meandering discourse with the order-taker, repeatedly changing his mind, whipping out the old cellphone to call the old-lady to see what she wants, and arguing with the kids about what to order. If I had a 105mm howitzer on the front of my truck …

Hey, for that guy, it’s justifiable homicide. As I was saying to Happy, it’s not an either-or thing: it’s a continuum. Life’s too short to worry about someone taking an extra thirty seconds to read a menu, but if someone is really doing all those things you describe, lethal force is the only answer.

Daniel

[UncleRojelio]

@Left Hand of Dorkness

Clearly, uncle, any car you’re driving will have a minimum of one screaming brat in it.

I will have to concede this point. Did they let you watch the surveillance or have you been talking to my wife?

[Left_Hand_of_Dorkness]

@UncleRojelio

I will have to concede this point. Did they let you watch the surveillance or have you been talking to my wife?

Okay, you caught me. I wasn’t reading the menu, I was looking in my rear-view mirror.

Cackling softly.

Daniel

[UncleRojelio]

@Left Hand of Dorkness

Okay, you caught me. I wasn’t reading the menu, I was looking in my rear-view mirror.

And, since there was no one behind me, when I finally got to the damn speaker, I order a McHaggis just to see what the order-drone would say.

snicker

[ouryL]

@Smapti

Having worked far too long in the food service industry, i’ve seen my share of people who seem to have absolutely no idea how drive-thru restaurants work. I’ve suffered no end of heartache and aggravation from people who can’t seem to grasp what should be blatantly obvious, and i’ve finally come to the conclusion that what the world needs is a simple guide to the thou shalts and thou shalt nots of the process. So here it is - a guide to the uninformed and a pitting of the clueless.

1) An there beith a preview board, thou shalt use it. Many drive-thrus now have two separate menu boards - one with the attached speaker, and a second menu one car-length behind the speaker. This is known as a “preview board” because the customer can look it over before advancing to the speaker and starting the restaurant’s speed-of-service timer. If you don’t know what you want, USE this board. Don’t drive past it straight to the speaker, ask the clerk to “gimme a second”, and then spend two or three minutes staring at it while the speed-of-service time gets higher and higher.

2)Thou shalt not shout “Hello?” or honk thy horn if there is a delay at the speaker. Just because the clerk isn’t ready to take your order the second you pull up doesn’t mean they’ve taken off their headset, clocked out, and gone home. Shouting “Hello?” or honking your horn will not make whatever the clerk is working on go away and it WON’T get your order taken any faster - it only aggravates the clerk and potentially deafen them when they get a 110-decibal blast in the speaker strapped directly onto their ear.

3) Thou shalt not ask the clerk questions that could be answered by reading the menu. How much does the chicken sandwich cost? What comes on the TripleMax Superburger Deluxe? This is what the menu is FOR. It’s the big thing right in front of you with all the words and numbers on it, not to mention the great big pictures where each item has been carefully posed to display each of its ingredients in larger-than-life detail. Use it.

4) Thou shalt NOT add to thy order at the window. Doing this requires the clerk to go back in and change your order (which at many restaurants requires a manager’s approval to void part or all of the order), delays us getting your order out while we make whatever you decided you just couldn’t live without during the lengthy 20’ drive from the speaker to the window, and delays everyone behind you getting what they want as well. Just don’t do it.

5) If there is a line at the window, thou shalt start counting thy money before reaching it. We tell you what your total is at the speaker. Most restaurants also have video screens that show your total in big numbers. There is no reason for you to not know your total before you leave the speaker. If there’s a car ahead of you at the window, there is no reason for you not to start counting out your money before you get there. Reaching the window after a three-minute wait and THEN deciding to start counting out the $37 in nickels you intend to pay me with is just lazy.

6) Thou shalt use actual numbers when ordering a quantity greater than one. I don’t know how many “a couple”, “a bunch”, “a lot”, or “a shitload” of hamburgers is. I never learned those numbers in kindergarten. If you ask me for such a quantity, I will ask you to be more specific. The same goes for sauces. Our default is to give you one package of sauce for each item that requires it. If you ask me for a specific larger number I will give you that many, but if you ask me for “a bunch” or “a lot” I will give you two packages for each item. If you ask me for “a shitload” I may ask you not to come back to my store.

7) Thou shalt NOT use curse words into the drive-thru speaker. This one follows from the Sixth Commandment. The speaker you’re talking into is connected to a loudspeaker which is audible to everyone in the kitchen and, often, to everyone in the lobby as well. This is a family business and more often than not there are children dining in our lobby. It is not appropriate for you to pull up to my speaker and start using profanity towards me, let alone my staff and customers. An idle slip of the tongue may be excused, but do it again and you’ll be asked to leave.

8) Thou shalt not order another restaurant’s menu items from us. We don’t sell Big Macs here. We don’t sell Whoppers here. We don’t sell McChickens, Biggie Fries, Frosties, Grillburgers, McFlurries, McNuggets, Chicken Fries, Crossainwiches, McMuffins, McGriddles, or anything else that starts with “Mc” for that matter. You cannot Super-Size, King Size, or Biggie-Size our combos. We carry Coke, not Pepsi. We can’t give you fry sauce, onion ring sauce, or Horsey sauce. Corellary: Thou shalt not order the item we carried for about a month two years ago and act shocked that we can’t make it for you. We don’t even carry the ingredients for that anymore. No, not even if you ask nicely.

9) Thou shalt make sure you have cash or a credit card BEFORE thou order. Think hard for just a second, buddy - have you EVER heard of a drive-thru restaurant taking checks? I didn’t think so. Make sure you have the ability to pay for your order BEFORE you order it. Pulling up to the window and then “discovering” that you forgot your wallet won’t earn you any sympathy from those of us who just busted our asses to make your order and now have to throw it all out. And no, it WON’T get you any free food, either.

10) Thou shalt not, not, NOT, EVER, ask the clerk to “hook you up”. This is a business, not a charity. You want free food? Go to the food bank downtown. We’re in business to make money, not feed your broke ass. I don’t even know you. Why would I risk my job by giving away free food to a complete stranger? No, not if you give me a puff off your peace pipe. No, not if your girlfriend shows me her tits (and what kind of girl flashes a complete stranger for a 99-cent sandwich anyway?) No, not if you’re really good buddies with the manager or the area coach or Sally in Accounting, because right here and right now I AM the manager and i’ve never seen you before in my life.

Unbelievers, repent your sins and be saved. Anybody else got any commandments they’d like to throw in before I break out the chisel?

How bout
11) Thou shalt not thy naked body expose to us. Thy car is not clothing.

[Jme102]

[QUOTE=Duck Duck Goose]
Walgreens driveup mini-rant here:

QUOTE]
Amen to all the Walgreens stuff. I would just like to add:

If you haven’t already been to a Walgreens and registered your address/phone#/insurancecard/allergies/dog’s name/etc… and you have two legs - come inside! It holds up the entire line and sometimes people who have crying babies or old sick parents are waiting for their medicines behind you!

[matt_mcl]

A hijack:

@bordelond

And if Left Hand is a vegetarian, s/he will have to peruse the average fast food menu board a bit more closely. And I can’t think of a valid reason s/he shouldn’t be afforded the same convenience to do it from the comfort of her car as anyone else would.

In what universe is screaming into a microphone, fumbling with change, and then doing food origami while careening down a motorway more convenient and comfortable than going into a restaurant, speaking to a human, and eating one’s food at a table?

[Dag_Otto]

@UncleRojelio

Go the hell inside then stay outta my way. I know EXACTLY what I want and I want it in a damn hurry.

If you were really in a hurry, you would be in front of me. My truck is so old and slow I really have no idea how you could have not beaten me here. But somehow there you are, behind me.

It’s crap food anyway. Getting it 30 seconds faster doesn’t make it any less crappy.

To the OP: Don’t ask me if I want a drink with that. I just gave you my order. Did I order a fucking drink? No? Well, there you go.

[Left_Hand_of_Dorkness]

@matt_mcl

In what universe is screaming into a microphone, fumbling with change, and then doing food origami while careening down a motorway more convenient and comfortable than going into a restaurant, speaking to a human, and eating one’s food at a table?

The universe where I’m on a car trip with other people and the other folks would prefer to use the drive-through :). You want to see REAL prima-donna, imagine me insisting that they let me go inside and eat while they use the drive-through.

Daniel

[ENugent]

@matt_mcl

In what universe is screaming into a microphone, fumbling with change, and then doing food origami while careening down a motorway more convenient and comfortable than going into a restaurant, speaking to a human, and eating one’s food at a table?

The universe in which we finally got the baby to sleep by driving the car all over town.

[kidchameleon]

@wring

“count thy change while waiting”

nope. sorry. Everytime I’ve done that, I’ve ended up spending more of your time 'cause I drop it. I drive a stick shift, and can’t hold onto $4.38 while simultaneously driving and shifting.

:eek:

You must go to some awful long drive throughs if you need to shift to get to the window…

[DiosaBellissima]

Not to speak for wring, but I think he (she?) means shifting the car from neutral to first. I usually stick my car in neutral while ordering so I can take my foot of the clutch and all that jazz, then I need to shift.

[wring]

@DiosaBellissima

Not to speak for wring, but I think he (she?) means shifting the car from neutral to first. I usually stick my car in neutral while ordering so I can take my foot of the clutch and all that jazz, then I need to shift.

yep.

and gender= female.

[VegemiteMoose]

(Hmm, maybe if I try it in Super Slow-mo Asshole Mode™.)

Does. The. Seconds. Of. Service. Counter. Keep. Going. If. You. Get. Parked?

Seriously, can someone please answer this.

[Uvula_Donor]

@bordelond

Dude … sorry. You can’t wait 30 seconds? Really?

So only those who know precisely what they want before they go to the drive-thru should use the drive-thru? No menu-reading allowed? In your world, perhaps these menus are unnecessary?

Dude … read the thread.

[Harborwolf]

@Smapti

6) Thou shalt use actual numbers when ordering a quantity greater than one. I don’t know how many “a couple”, “a bunch”, “a lot”, or “a shitload” of hamburgers is. I never learned those numbers in kindergarten. If you ask me for such a quantity, I will ask you to be more specific. The same goes for sauces. Our default is to give you one package of sauce for each item that requires it. If you ask me for a specific larger number I will give you that many, but if you ask me for “a bunch” or “a lot” I will give you two packages for each item. If you ask me for “a shitload” I may ask you not to come back to my store.

Whoa buddy do I ever agree with this one. I used to work at a grocery store deli, and easily two thirds of the customers thought “some” was an appropriate quantity of meat. When I asked how much they wanted, they usually got annoyed with me because I couldn’t quantify “some” into an actual measurement.

[SisterCoyote]

VegemiteMoose -

It didn’t back in the early 80s when I was serving my time as a drive-thru operator; you move out, the switch gets tripped, and it starts counting the next driver.

[SisterCoyote]

Oh, and I meant to add -

Wait a second before pulling up in front of the order grille. If you ride up right on the bumper of the guy in front of you, odds are that you won’t trip the sensor that lets the drive-thru operator know you’re there. From the inside, it sounds just like the guy in front hasn’t moved, not that someone new has pulled up.

[Gangster_Octopus]

Eh, a lot of the complaints in OP seem to be normal customer service things that are part of the job.