I’ll admit, I’m guilty of see how brilliant my kid is syndrome. But with a kid like my middle child, it’s so hard to resist.
The church had a grandparents day today, and Jim’s aunt and uncle stepped in for the kids. Jeanette, (middle child) age six, was upset by the concept of a grandparents day.
Jeanette: Old people smell funny. And they’re boring!
Me: They’re not boring, just ask them about the perks of suffering dementia.
J: What does suffering mean?
M: Well-
Jim: :smack: Elderly people have a lot of fun stories.
So today when she got home, she was in a foul mood.
Jim: What’s the matter?
J: The old people didn’t have any stories! And they weren’t suffering either! I asked! Help me, I am influencing my child beyond reason!
Any other good stories about kids that have given a good chuckle lately?
My five yr. old daughter has (I think!) a pretty sharp sense of humor for her age. Yesterday, she was lying on the living room floor coloring with colored pencils, and had mentioned that she wanted to take them with her to church services later that day. She also had asked for an ice cream sandwich and to visit her Nana, but I told her that she needed to get into the bath soon, so no, that stuff would have to wait. Suddenly, she let fly with a barrage of nonstop questions, without taking a breath:
and so on until her older sister and I were helplessly giggling. At the first couple of questions, I got exasperated, but as they continued to pour out of her, I realized she was doing it on purpose to be funny, and that’s when I started laughing and couldn’t stop!
My daughter was 5 or so when she pounded on our locked bedroom door one Sunday morning, waking her dad and I from a sound sleep.
“I know what you’re doing in there and it’s NOT RIGHT!” she shouted.
I turned to my husband and said “See. I told you you were’nt doing it right.”
No backstory; it happened just like that, out of nowhere, providing me with this story almost 20 years later and I still laugh.
My four-year-old niece is having Little House on the Prairie read to her these days. It has inspired in her a need to get a gun to go hunt meat.
She’s mentioned it to several of her nearest and dearest adult relatives–none of whom have any desire to acquire meat not prepackaged at the grocery store.
She also informed Grandpa (my dad) that her other Grandpa could fix anything. Other Grandpa is very clever as a handyman, but we think metal fatigue in a cheap kid’s umbrella may be beyond him.
My stepkids have an amazing vocabulary. Their mother and I have the attitude that there are no bad words, just bad intent, and they can say whatever they want to around the house, but not necessarily out in public.
They don’t really know the actual meanings of some of the words (well, they do now, but two years ago, when this happened, they didn’t), and that can be pretty funny. For instance, they know that a raised middle finger means “f*** you!”
One afternoon in the car, the older brother flipped his little sister off, and I heard a voice pop up from the back seat, “Mommmmmm!!! Brother f***ed me!”
We were driving around over the weekend with our 15 month-old in his car seat in the back seat babbling away inchoherently non-stop.
Suddenly he made this “Hunnnnnh!!!” noise like he had been stabbed in the back or was having a heart attack in the overly exagerrated fake way somebody would do. I looked in the rear-view mirror and my wife spun around in her seat as he sat there motionless with his eyes wide open.
He must have been proud of himself for shocking us and couldn’t keep his glee inside cause he slowly started cracking a smile when he saw the shocked look on our faces.
One of my wife’s cousins a few years ago, when she was perhaps 6 or 7 (the cousin, not my wife) demonstrated how they say the Pledge of Allegiance at school.
All in one breath, and all as one word, she said: “IpledgeallegiancetotheflagofhteUnitedStatesofAmericaandtotherepublicforwhichitstandsonenationunder-
Godindivisiblewithlibertyandjusticeforallthankyouverymuchandnowit’stimeforsomeannouncements.”
Tried to get the kids to eat “pigs-in-a-blanket” last night. They love biscuits (I buy the $.38 ones). But they’re a high glycemic food, or something - ds always spazzes out 90 minutes later. So I wanted to pair the biscuits with a protein. And I thought a finger food would be fun.
Plus I had 4 lowfat hotdogs laying around.
So I pitched the idea at lunch - “Hey, let’s have pigs-in-a-blanket for dinner!”
My 3-yr-old daughter was horrified. “Pigs live in the rainforest! They are not food!”
Help me, I am influencing my child beyond reason!