I am in a Starbucks and there’s no place practical for for me to take shelter. If I get killed, I’ll expect y’all to avenge my death–by which I mean, of course, to frame Ann Coulter for my murder. There’s not much y’all can do against Gaia, after all, though I guess you could litter or something.
Hey Skald, find yourself somewhere safe-ish (maybe the restroom? – if things get really ugly, at least you’d be within easy reach of relief, in any event – and post back when you get the all clear. And good luck to you!
I’m in the restroom now. That doesn’t let you guys off screwing with Coulter (and/or Jenny McCarthy) if the building gets picked up and carried to Oz and I am killed by flying monkeys. 
If you could make it look like they were lesbian lovers, thus ruining Coulter’s career, and that McCarthy has only been doing her anti-vax silliness to distract tabloid reporters, that’d be great.
In fact, somebody remind me to start a rumor to that effect if the twister doesn’t kill me.
My advice is to hunker down in a stall, reach for the T.P. (I’m assuming the dispenser is of one of those types with a lot of friction or resistance, discouraging profligate wastage of the T.P.), and hold onto that non-budging, underperforated, toilet tissue paper for all it’s worth.
And keep “a wide stance” – it might help keep you braced in between the stall walls. 
We get tornadoes all the time. When you’re on the western side of the city you tend not to react, as they generally cross the river and beat the hell out of West Memphis, Arkansas. Indra appears to hate West Memphis.
My ex-husband just called me from Lafayette Co., MS. He said the power was out there… Skald, come back and tell us if you made it or not !
But DONT tap your foot. You’ll loose your frictional advantage doing it!
Auntie Em! Auntie Em!
Stay safe.
We haven’t heard back from Skald!
He should be landing in Mexico anytime now.
Or Oz, or Kansas.
That was a big storm, just south of me. Hope Skald and everyone else in Memphis is OK.
You’re in Memphis? Just down the road? Beale street, live Blues bands?
I hate you. But what else is new?
Now you have. Sorry if I made anybody worry. I’m almost certain I’m not currently dead.
You forgot “self-aggrandizing, arrogant mayor who thinks he was appointed by Yahweh to lead the city until his (the mayor’s) whim leads him elsewhere.” Also “really high murder rape.” And “fundies everywhere.”
Thanks, I feel better.
And glad you survived, too.
Yeah. Really. That is almost exactly what I tell people when they ask why I moved. People actually want to live there? Also, I thought I was the only one who cited Herenton as the cause of current suckation. God I hated that asshole.
Good golly gosh I am glad I moved (though, not so glad I moved here).
Probably should call dad and make sure he didn’t get kilt.
ETA: Oh, and good on you for not being dead, Skald.
Okay, I can’t help myself. I guess Skald wasn’t pinin’ for the fjords after all.
It was pretty scary! I was in the parking lot of my daughter’s office in Bartlett when it hit, and by hit, I mean a branch fell on my car with me and my four year old in it! Luckily there were only a few scratches. We were parked on one side of the building but I’d just started the car and moved around to the back when a tree fell behind the car, then the branch hit. I grabbed my little girl and ran into the building.
It’s always so weird … not sure if it’s like this everywhere but in Memphis it can be a beautiful sunny day with a chance of rain then BAM! I didn’t even know bad weather was coming until ten minutes before, when the dark clouds rolled in.
Thirty minutes later we’re shivering in the hallway, and maybe thirty minutes after that it’s all over. Driving home was a trip though. Shopping carts and trees strewn about the streets and no traffic lights the whole way home.
Lights were out all night, but other than my little girl wanting to play birthday party with the candles ALL NIGHT LONG it wasn’t so bad.
They’re calling it another derecho–that is, 80 mph straightline winds, like Hurricane Elvis back in '03.
This being the Dope, shouldn’t that be pining for the fnords?
I’m sorry.