The triumphant return of R. Kelly's "Trapped in the Closet"!

“Trapped in the Closet” is one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard and seen in my life – a 12-part epic “hip-hopera” by R&B singer R. Kelly. It’s over-the-top ridiculous melodrama with a nonsensical, twisted, turgid plot, a bizarre cast of characters, horribly bad rhymes, and an intense seriousness on Kelly’s part that he had written and performed the lyrics of Shakespeare set to the music of Mozart. The DVD with the 12 chapters makes for a great night of drunken viewing with a room full of friends, especially with Kelly’s commentary track – you see him sitting in front of the screen, smoking cigars, making the most asinine comments in the world and proclaiming himself a genius. R., I do not think “cliffhanger” means what you think it means.

And now it’s back! The hilarious Chapter 12.5 is online on the site above, filling us in on the story so far, while Chapter 13 spins our familiar characters off into a bold new story angle. It looks like a new chapter will premiere online every week. My only worry is that Kelly seems to be in on the joke now (and will probably say he was all along), when it was clear before that he thought “Trapped in the Closet” was a work of staggering genius.

Aww shit!

I was toying with starting a thread about this too, only I was thinking of calling mine something like “Is R. Kelly insane?”

So back when the first series came out, my friends bought me the entire thing on DVD. Needless to say, we’ve had hours of entertainment. What’s funnier, is listening to R Kelly’s commentary because let me tell you: that guy takes Trapped in the Closet VERY serious. He was going on and on about the metaphors, foreshadowing, and other literary stuff, it was great.

“You’re crazier than a fish with titties.” God bless you, R. Kelly. Pee your way to the top of greatness, my dear.

Since I don’t have time anymore, could somebody tell me briefly what the whole thing is about? Is he gay? Seriously, I have no idea. The only things I know about R. Kelly is that he did a song for that movie with Bugs Bunny and Michael Jordan, and he peed on a girl or something like that.

I believe this is coming on DVD Friday, all ten new chapters.

If I had to describe Trapped in the Closet in three sentences, I would say: a goofy soap opera set to music with ridiculous lyrics and crazy situations. R. Kelly plays Sylvester, who finds himself in bed with another woman after what must have been one strange night, and hides in the closet so the woman’s husband doesn’t catch him. From there, it devolves into lunacy, with a gay priest, a nosy neighbor, a fat Southern woman, an incontinent midget stripper, and more.

Damn, I missed the incontinent midget stripper. I guess I should have watched after the first or second episode?

Scroll down for chapter synopses.

Well. That was certainly… interesting. Thank you for the link? I think?

I feel like I was just Bukkake’d with stupid.

Shoot. It was much better when he thought it was an epic that would change the world as we know it. Thanks for this thread though. I loved the first DVD. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything else so hilariously terrible.

Wow. That’s a visual!

I think this is a perfect time to bring up Weird Al’s version: Trapped in the Drive Thru. A sampling:

I hopped up and I said
“I don’t know, do you want to get something delivered?”
She’s like “Why would I want to eat liver?
I don’t even like liver!”

I’m like “No, I said ‘delivered’.”
She’s like “I heard you say liver!”
I’m like “I should know what I said…”
She’s like “Whatever, I just don’t want any liver!”

I saw R. Kelly perform a large section of it at the MTV awards and I was seriously thinking he was doing a parody skit of himself.
That was serious ???
I really need to get my hands on a copy as it was really, really weird and hysterically funny.
I cannot fathom that anybody could take it seriously.

You’ve been stup-aked!

Yeah, I think I’m going to call that up on the old iPod right now. Just another instance where the parody is far superior to the original.