My inner reading voice keeps flipping back and forth between Mark Hamill as the Joker and Andy Serkis as Gollum.
Has anyone seen Smapti around lately? You don’t suppose they flipped him, do ya?
SMAPTI!!!
Pshaw. That’s, like, 80 tweets. He can shit that out before breakfast without wiping the flop sweat from his upper lip.
I especially love this -
Is this how he gets them to Gitmo? Was this his strategy all along?
I doubt he could even pronounce the word “jurisprudence,” let alone use it correctly in a sentence.
As noted by someone in a WaPo comment thread, this is a man who has to write down “NO QUID PRO QUO” so he won’t forget it, and that’s only four words.
I just read it. It’s 6 pages of whiney self pitying lying shit stirring fucking bullshit. It’s almost as if he’s pushing for civil war.
Fuck that traitorous lying bastard.
He is pushing for civil war. You should see the latest newsletter I got from the Appleseed Project. From its founder:
Something tells me my notion of “alert and educated” is different than his.
He… really likes letters.
He likes getting them. He loves posing with them (unopened). And now, it seems, he likes signing ones that other people write for him (no way did he write this, it’s more than occasionally coherent). It’s enough to make you wonder if he wasn’t allowed to go near the mailbox as a child.
- does anyone think he wrote this? That’s a lovely “rule of three” rhetorical flourish. Trump never uses those. We hear him speak all the time, that’s not part of his style. The whole letter is full of tells. You’d think that someone would have done a better job ghostwriting him.
If I’d written it, I would’ve included a lengthy aside where a very respected leader calls him and says “Sir, what they’re doing to you with this fake impeachment is the worst thing any president has had to go through”, a cutie about how he invented the word “impeach”, and a conspiracy theory about Michelle Obama doing quid pro quos with ISIS.
Does it bother you that much that the glorious orange one can write six lucid pages while you struggle to complete a sentence that doesn’t make you look like a nut?
Wait, you think he actually wrote that letter?
That’s adorable!
And he thinks it’s “lucid.”
He signed it at least. 
I think.
You really are a special kind of moron aren’t you?
“Trump wrote a six page letter” doesn’t tell you much if you don’t know what font size he used.
You say that as if writing “six lucid pages” is something to be proud of, when really any bright middle school student ought to be able to do it.
What’s the rule for evaluating Republican speech or written word?
Every Accusation Is A Confession.
It’s been said by many people but this letter shows once again how true it is.
And yeah, no way that dumbfuck wrote that.
Very true. But I’m just thrilled to live in a country where it’s an accomplishment for the so-called president if he actually penned a six page letter.
That would be awesome. But Trump is famously not much on the Internet except for Twitter and conspiracy theory sites, where “TL;DR” is unlikely to appear. He’s therefore likely to misinterpret the phrase.