I’m pretty sure they are getting adopted out via Betsy Devos’ Christian adoption agency. We can’t let any foreigners in that will vote Democratic, but if we can steal their kids and brainwash them into being good Republicans then they’re ok.
They’re still brown, though. Better not let them vote just in case.
Slowly turning, like on a spit? I think the veals would be more suited to gyros than hamberders.
But, they’re … brown.
The plan is to indoctrinate the brown babies in the MAGA cult. Instead of changing their policies to appeal to brown people, they are going to change brown people into MAGAts
Is anyone planning to take one for the team and provide play-by-play for the [del]STFU[/del] SOTU address tonight? There’s a pan of cashew fudge in it for you.
I might watch it with the sound off just to see if he collapses at the podium…
The only way I’d be watching tonight is if I was strapped in ala Clockwork Orange with my eyes being forced open.
The only way I’d watch is if it were accompanied by a running MST3K commentary.
I’m only watching to see if he has a stroke, mid-gibbering.
Comedy Central once did something like this, I believe. It’d be cool if they did it again. Get Jon Stewart and Stephan Colbert to live riff. I’d watch that.
I was planning to record it but not watch. It’d be nice if there was running commentary here on the Dope that i could peruse instead.
In previous SOTU speeches, Trump has controlled himself better than he usually does and stuck to the script. I’m not sure why, but I have this gut feel that he won’t be able to restrain himself tonight.
You read it here first!
I agree. He no longer has any reason to restrain himself.
The SOTU will be the teaser trailer for the shitty movie that we’re going to be a part of for the next year. The Senate is giving Trump the go ahead to do pretty much whatever he wants. Ecerything is about to get way worse.
Naw, the Thorazine coursing through his blood will keep him on the straight and narrow. It’s gonna be low-energy Trump. Ivanka needs to keep Dad under wrap for just one more day, then the Right will be unleashed.
I predict sniffing.
If only we had the technology to “OK Stop” a live broadcast.
Trump could have a full on seizure, crapping his pants and screaming “PURPLE MONKEY DISHWASHER” in the middle of the SOTU and his fans (and FOX) would call it an unparalleled success.
^ This, I think. There is still a vote to be taken. Can’t have the cash cow scaring the cowhands.
Maybe, but I’ve assumed they are being utilized as unpaid servants. Get 'em young and train them right, and you get free house-cleaning and personal attention, of whatever unsavory variety, for life. (There’s a word for such persons, I think. Can’t quite bring it to mind.)
But of course they could be indoctrinating them, too. On voting day, round up the unpaid servants and bus them to a polling place and make sure they vote the right way. Win-win.