I can honestly say I’ve never had anything but utter scorn for that racist redneck. The only job he’s fit for is Head Elf at the Keebler Cracker Factory.
But I loved it that Trump wanted him gone because he’s the most efficient person in Trumps circle. While everyone else is whiling away their days calling WaPo and NYT on each other, JBo is tirelessly working around the clock to destroy all our civil liberties as rapidly and efficiently as possible.
I hope Trump fires him. I think Congress will keep him from firing Mueller anyway. But I think Ivanka will goad him into dumping Sessions. Because she wants Dina Powell for CoS and it would piss Kelly off to no end if Sessions were fired. Because Kelly awarded Sessions the sword of immunity or something. So Ivanka and Jared will try to provoke Kelly and then they’ll call WaPo and spill the story.
And Dina will be the next CoS because Daddy loves Ivanka best. And Christie will be the next AG for a little while. And I’ll be sort of OK with that because while he’s a detestable ass he’s sort of a RHINO. And he can do wacky stuff, like the time he helped Obama win in 2012 by making him look strong in the aftermath of Sandy. And if he tries to do something super-duper detestable someone can ask Bruce Springsteen to call him and ask him to back off. That would actually make a good episode.
And the fat jokes would write themselves
Because it’s all like the most bizarre reality show ever. Actually, it’s exactly like a fucked-up over the top sequel to the movie Network… Network 2 -The White House. Amd that sequel would’ve failed because it was unbelievable
I don’t think anyone knows for sure if Mueller has his tax returns, but I’ve always figured the tax returns were subpoenaed by Comey as one of his first orders of business when he began his investigation just over a year ago, long before Mueller was named as special prosecutor. The tax returns would be one of the first places to start looking for illicit sources of income and quid pro quo.
I could happily go with your scenario. It’s a dandy.
ETA: I’m much less fearful now about Sessions getting canned than I was before Congress started hemming Trump in, but I kept hearing about “hypocritical” liberals defending Sessions’ staying before Republicans made a single peep about protecting Mueller. TBH, I didn’t breathe until after Grassley made it clear there wouldn’t be any chance of a reappointment to the AG spot this year if Trump actually went through with the firing.
If not for Rosenstein, Trump would probably be sitting pretty right now.
Although he’s denied it, there was a leak that Rosenstein threatened to resign when Trump tried to portray him as the one who initiated the idea to fire Comey. He later testified that he knew Comey was already going to be fired by Trump before he wrote the memo that Trump said supposedly initiated the idea.
Then, with Sessions recused, Rosenstein appointed Mueller, which I personally remember as the first ray of sunshine since this whole fuck first started clustering.
So, JeffBo comes out to do his “gonna bust all the leakers!” thing. OK. But he starts right in like he’s talking to “the intelligence community”? Huh? CIA? NSA? U.N.C.L.E.? And none of the news I watched seemed to notice. Did I miss something? He said something to the effect that he was warning them specifically! WTF?
I suspect the intended audience of Bo the Elf’s speechifying is one single solitary person: that queer orange man with the ill-fitting suits that reek of flop sweat, filthy ass, and Stetson cologne, the one who’s been leaving grease stains on the Resolute Desk and answers to “Mr. President.”
I think it’s possible that he assumed that the president might at least honor a few of the norms of the office, like the rule of law. Sessions recused himself because the lawyer in him knew that it was the proper thing to do. He might have assumed that being the expert in this area, having superior legal knowledge to the president, he could eventually get the president to understand why he had to recuse himself. He probably couldn’t quite yet have envisioned that the president would make a move on Comey and then tweet to an audience of millions that “Yeah, I basically obstructed justice.” I think Sessions, like Priebus, McMasters, Tillerson, and others believed that they could eventually get through to Trump - reason with him. That has just not happened and it’s probably never going to happen. The president rejects expert opinion because it doesn’t comport with his personal agenda and he personally feels threatened by people who know more about something than he does. And the disturbing trend is that whenever someone does have ‘expert’ status, they tend to get demoted, marginalized, or fired.
This is probably Sessions’ way of ingratiating himself to the president and getting back in the fold. He can’t un-recuse himself, but he can use the law as an instrument to further the president’s other interests. He doesn’t actually have to put journalists in jail; he can threaten them with the possibility of going to trial with the threat of jail and facing a long process of appeals.
Maybe not that far, but at least he’s softening Trump’s impulse to fire him and cause all kinds of negative consequences. It’s only a pat on a little boy’s head, but that’s all it needs to be.
The joke depends on the dual meaning of the word cracker - it’s a both savory crisp and a insult aimed at backwards thinking Southerners. And Sessions looks like a demented elf and Keebler features elves prominently in their ad campaigns.
Sorry, but Head Elf at the Keebler Ice Cream Cone factory isnt, you know, funny.
