Batman
vs.
Count Dracula
Motoko Kusanagi (Ghost in the Shell)
vs.
The Alien (Alien)
Pass
Sephiroth (Final Fantasy)
vs.
Kratos (God of War)
The Terminator
vs.
The Bride (Kill Bill)
Gandalf the White
vs.
Harry Callahan (Dirty Harry)
James Bond
vs.
Solid Snake (Metal Gear Solid)
**
Brock Samson (Venture Brothers)**
vs.
Conan the Barbarian
**
Jason Bourne (The Bourne Identity)**
vs.
Chuck Norris
I missed the thread for round one. But I’ll join in now.
Batman beats Count Dracula
Dracula? He’s overrated. Van Helsing was able to beat Dracula.
The Alien beats Motoko Kusanagi
Because I don’t watch anime and don’t know who Motoko Kusanagi is.
Sephiroth vs. Kratos (pass)
I also don’t play video games.
The Terminator beats the Bride
She’s tough but she’s only human.
Gandalf the White beats Harry Callahan
A surprisingly close fight. Gandalf has magic but Dirty Harry has bullets. Ultimately, Gandalf’s ability to come back from the dead will give him the win.
James Bond beats Solid Snake
Another victory for pop cultural ignorance. Plus Bond has been around forever and hasn’t died yet.
Brock Samson beats Conan the Barbarian
Another close one. But Brock has the advantage of being a cartoon.
Chuck Norris beats Jason Bourne
In the battle of beard vs brain, beard always wins.
Because Bond does the one-man suicide missions, too. He just also gets the girl while he’s at it.
Bond’s success is pre-determined by the creators of the movie.
Snake’s success depends on the skills of the player.
Free will beats predestination. Snake is more badass.
Batman
Alien
The Terminator
Gandalf
Bond
Conan
Bourne
Winners in BOLD
Batman
vs.
Count Dracula
Motoko Kusanagi (Ghost in the Shell)
vs.
The Alien (Alien)
Sephiroth (Final Fantasy)
vs.
Kratos (God of War)
The Terminator
vs.
The Bride (Kill Bill)
Gandalf the White
vs.
Harry Callahan (Dirty Harry)
James Bond
vs.
Solid Snake (Metal Gear Solid)
Brock Samson (Venture Brothers)
vs.
Conan the Barbarian
Jason Bourne (The Bourne Identity)
vs.
Chuck Norris
Batman
vs.
Count Dracula
Count Dracula isn’t that tough if you’re prepared.
Motoko Kusanagi (Ghost in the Shell)
vs.
The Alien (Alien)
Kusanagi went toe-to-toe with a tank and won. I think she can handle an alien.
Sephiroth (Final Fantasy)
vs.
Kratos (God of War)
The Terminator
vs.
The Bride (Kill Bill)
The sword’s barely gonna leave a scratch.
**
Gandalf the White**
vs.
Harry Callahan (Dirty Harry)
I agree that Dirty Harry is a massive badass. But he’s going up against an angel who’s pulling his punches. If Gandalf gets in trouble, he’ll just hold back a little less.
James Bond
vs.
Solid Snake (Metal Gear Solid)
If Bond wanted to, he could live off raw snakes. But he doesn’t want to.
Brock Samson (Venture Brothers)
vs.
Conan the Barbarian
Oh this is a tough one for me. I love both these characters and I wish both of them could advance to the next round. Such is the luck of the draw.
They both are smart, ruthless, muscle-bound killing machines. Conan has survived being crucified – that’s some major badassness right there. But Brock survived being hurled into the vacuum of space.
Ultimately, I have to give it to Brock because he’s got modern military training on top of his innate toughness. And he knows guys in the Mossad.
Jason Bourne (The Bourne Identity)
vs.
Chuck Norris
Not even close.
You mean a roundhouse kick-line. One of which would instantly restore Jason Bourne’s memory (for a split second before his head exploded).
I guess people voting for the Alien haven’t seen Ghost in the Shell. Major Motoko Kusanagi fights tanks and survives being ripped in half. In the sequel she’s a disembodied spirit that can manipulate computer networks. In the second alien movie, space marines dispatched the monsters by the dozen. The major would have all their firepower and more, and would be immune to the Aliens attacks.
Batman
vs.
Count Dracula
Is Batman prepared with a Bat Holy Water Spray, Bat-crosses and Bat Steaks? Also vampires are gay as hell.
***Motoko Kusanagi (Ghost in the Shell)*vs.
The Alien (Alien)
As wiley and badass as Alien xenomorphs are, they are still just big dumb animals. No match for a cybernetic Special Forces soldier.
Sephiroth (Final Fantasy)
vs.
Kratos (God of War)
Never played either game. But I have to go with some jacked motherfucker named Kratos, God of War over some emo anime archtype.
The Terminator
vs.
The Bride (Kill Bill)
Bitch please.
Gandalf the White
vs.
Harry Callahan (Dirty Harry)
In all the confusion, I can’t remember if I destroyed six rings or seven. Feel lucky punk?
James Bond
vs.
Solid Snake (Metal Gear Solid)
*
! Solid Snake is pretty badass, but he is limited to mostly sneaking around, running offscreen to escape his enemies and hiding in boxes.
Brock Samson (Venture Brothers)
vs.
Conan the Barbarian
Pretty sure Brock would be crushed, driven before Conan and hear the lamentations of the women.
Jason Bourne (The Bourne Identity)
vs.
Chuck Norris
See my previous post
He’s the effete product of thousands of years of civilization. No match for the brutal Cimmerian’s wilderness-forged thews and ruthless cunning.
Ripley: They cut the power.
Hudson: What do you mean, “They cut the power”? How could they cut the power, man? They’re animals!
Interesting match. Both characters *are *the night. Only one says so in a gruff voice, and the other in a suave one with a touch of Balkanic accent.
That being said, for all his powers, Dracula also has a ton of really debilitating weaknesses, whereas **Batman **is twinked to the gills. He’s probably got batblood laced with garlic just in case. And the kicker : not only would he win a fight, but he’d know what to do with the remains for ol’ Vlad not to popup in a few decades.
**Motoko **looks *way *better naked.
Sephiroth. Always. Loses. No matter how bad his legion of fangirls wet their pants, he will always come second.
Whereras in the event **Kratos **comes third, he will kill the second and use his skull to bludgeon the first.
When the Terminator’s batteries die down, so does he. When the Bride’s body dies down, she wills herself to move her toes. Now, that’s badass.
That’s one hilarious matchup. “In the heat of battle, I lost count of my…” “Heat, you say ? What a coincidence.” FWOOM.
Come on. **Gandalf **is a sort of god. Callahan is an asshole with penis envy.
I’d watch this movie. If only to watch Solid Snake disassemble Bond’s PPK after elbowing him in the stomach so hard he pukes on his pristine tux.
Still don’t know who Brock Samson is, so I’m gonna pass.
**Bourne **has a brain. He wins by default.
Snake waits till the mission’s done to get the girl. Or get pwnd by the girl. Either way : more pro 
**Batman
vs.
Count Dracula
**
They’ve fought before. Batman won.
Motoko Kusanagi (Ghost in the Shell)
vs.
The Alien (Alien)
A lone Xenomorph is really only a threat to civilians. Against an armed and trained opponent, they need a swarm to take them out. Plus, she’s a cyborg. This one goes to the Major.
Sephiroth (Final Fantasy)
vs.
Kratos (God of War)
Kratos, via quick-time event.
The Terminator
vs.
The Bride (Kill Bill)
Hatori Hanzo steel is no match for a phased plasma rifle in the 40-volt range. Terminator in a walk.
Gandalf the White
vs.
Harry Callahan (Dirty Harry)
Doesn’t matter how many rounds Harry still has in his hand gun. Every time he shoots Gandalf, he just comes back as a different color.
James Bond
vs.
Solid Snake (Metal Gear Solid)
Bond wins by default, after Snake is disqualified for delaying the fight with three back-to-back, twenty minute long, nonsensical, non-interactive cutscenes.
Brock Samson (Venture Brothers)
vs.
Conan the Barbarian
Ooh, that’s a tough one. I think I have to go with the Cimmerian.
Jason Bourne (The Bourne Identity)
vs.
Chuck Norris
Bourne, with his eyes closed, and one hand tied behind his back.
Pfeh. Bond doesn’t have saved games. Also, he’s way less emo.
No, Bond is disqualified for delaying the fight with a two-hour-long, boring, nonsensical, non-interactive cutscene called A Quantum of Solace.
Batman
vs.
Count Dracula
Motoko Kusanagi (Ghost in the Shell)
vs.
The Alien (Alien)
Sephiroth (Final Fantasy)
vs.
Kratos (God of War)
The Terminator
vs.
The Bride (Kill Bill)
Gandalf the White
vs.
**Harry Callahan **(Dirty Harry)
James Bond
vs.
Solid Snake (Metal Gear Solid)
**Brock Samson **(Venture Brothers)
vs.
Conan the Barbarian
Jason Bourne (The Bourne Identity)
vs.
Chuck Norris
But at least movies are supposed to be two hours long and non-interactive. Metal Gear’s interminable cutscenes are a failure of media. And since this is supposed to be for the Ultimate Badass of All Media, that’s a fatal flaw for the non-gaseous ophidian.
Plus, dude’s got a mullet. I mean, c’mon. Who does he think he is? Brock Samson?
In that case Snake gets killed in really stupid ways all the time. Not badass.
A failure of media? Tell that to the thousands of Metal Gear fans all over the world. The Metal Gear games are a new kind of media, a combination of cinematic and interactive elements; a fourth-wall breaking experience which gives them a depth which (in my opinion) is unparalleled in any other games, console or PC.