Brock Sampson for those of you who might not be aware of his true badassitude.
Thousands of fans? Huh. And here I was under the impression that the Metal Gear games were kind of popular.
That’s cuz Conan never let another man put his hand in his ass. Advantage: Conan.
ROUND TWO IS OVER! The results have been tallied!
Several match-ups were really close, but there weren’t any ties this time.
Batman 22
vs.
Count Dracula 1
In the battle of bat vs. bat the count is reduced to a little pile of dust that gets vacuumed up by the Bat-vacuum.
Motoko Kusanagi (Ghost in the Shell) 10
vs.
The Alien (Alien) 9
The Alien was leading for most of the competition, but a last minute surge of anime fans pushed the Major over the top.
Sephiroth (Final Fantasy) 10
vs.
Kratos (God of War) 6
Japanese pretty-boy out-badasses the sweaty American muscle-man!
The Terminator 18
vs.
The Bride (Kill Bill) 5
Not as one-sided as Batman’s victory over the Count, but still, the psycho vengeance chick gets cleanly owned by the robot from the future.
Gandalf the White 14
vs.
Harry Callahan (Dirty Harry) 8
Harry put up a strong fight considering that he’s a mere mortal fighting a demi-god. But in the end, pure cussedness was not enough to save the day.
**James Bond 15 **
vs.
Solid Snake (Metal Gear Solid) 7
Argent Towers is going to be so pissed off.
Brock Samson (Venture Brothers) 12
vs.
Conan the Barbarian 11
A real nail-biter. The votes see-sawed back and forth through the entire competition. Only at the very end did Brock eke out a one-vote lead. The Swedish murder machine advances to the next round.
Jason Bourne (The Bourne Identity) 15
vs.
Chuck Norris 8
Fantasy trumps reality. I guess Chuck isn’t so tough after all … .
Thanks, everyone! Round three will start in a few minutes.
Round three here.
I see you don’t read Oglaf.
